Always Looking Up (takes looking around)

I just finished Michael J. Fox's wonderful new book, Always Looking Up. Now, the fact that I've been a big fan of Fox for the last 20 or so years (yea, I even like Teen Wolf) - helps me appreciate his book, his plight with Parkinson's, his Michael J Fox Foundation , and his zest for friends, family, and life.

Indeed, I like Mike. And yes, he wrote a very nice book, and more so, has a very nice purpose to his book. Now, specific to the book's title - I'd like to add a few components to help us with our own aspirations to have an "always looking up" attitude for life. (And given what I know about Michael, I think he'd be okay with my added "compenentry.")

To have an upbeat, positive, "always looking up" perspective, attitude, aptitude and mindfulness about life (and work for that matter) ... we have to occasionally look down; look sideways, look across; and as best we can ... look for as much insight, foresight and hindsight as we can muster.

In other words - it helps to have peripheral vision.

And what's the best way to get peripheral vision?

Through active, life-long learning.

After all, we really can’t be much of anyone, or do much of anything (let alone THRIVE) - if we don’t first put our minds to it. As they say, mind over matter. So, to effectively look-up, we need to look around, when/where appropriate - for the "nutrients" that feed our mind, as well as our heart, body, and soul.

Active, Life-Long Learning is Good.

Yes Miley - It's The Climb (And How We Climb)

At the risk of losing my manly-man card (heck, I lost that a long time ago), and getting kicked out of the manly-man club (come to think of it, I never was a member) - let me just say that I'm a big fan of Miley Cyrus.

More truth be told (and more trouble with the manly-man club; they'll never have me now) - I like the television show Hanna Montana, and yea, I even cried at the Hanna Montana movie. (I credit that one to being a dad, to my 8 year old daughter).

With my membership in the Miley Cyrus/Hanna Montana fan club in mind - it stands to reason that I would like the hit Miley Cyrus song The Climb. And I do! I really do! In fact, I know the words now, and sing it loud and proud - much to the embarrassment of my son. And while I like the song (really, I do) - and the lyrics to the song, I'd like to add a few more thoughts to accompany the song, and help with "the climb."

Indeed, while life is a "climb" - I think its important to keep in mind some attributes to help us with the climb. After all, while we don't know what we will find at the end, let alone along the way - it's not a bad idea to be prepared as best we can, as it might help us avoid some pitfalls, trip-ups, and twisted ankles - let alone snakes, bears and all sorts of nasty critters that we might encounter on our continuous, never ending, climb.

So, here's a laundry list of things that we should strive to be along our climb:

Positively pragmatic, diplomatic, persistent and persevering, agreeable, unassuming, calm, polite, good-humored, exciting and excited, helpful, thoughtful, competitive, steady, brave, self-starting, conscientious, earnest, flexible, resolute, tolerant, spirited, cheerful, inclusive, congenial, patient, responsive, happy, loving, others-oriented, curious, accountable, passionate, and more (quite frankly, lots more).

No doubt - that's a lot of stuff. And believe it or not, the actual list is waaaaaay longer than that. But, that will do, for now. After all, the point of the list is to accentuate that the physical aspect of the climb is undoubtedly a big part of the climb. However - the mental, emotional, and spiritual part is just as important. If not more.

You see, on the climb, everything matters. Especially your:

Perspective, Attitude, Aptitude and Mindfulness (PAAM).

The (PAAMful) Climb is Good.

Others-Oriented

Happy Fathers Day to all (good) dads. With a special shout-out to my (fantastic) dad; a remarkable father, and husband - who I love, admire, and appreciate.

I keep two Fathers Day cards (from several years back) at my desk: one from my parents, and one from my wife. On the cover of the card from my parents is a picture of a young boy dressed in goggles, wearing one of those old-fashioned pilot’s caps with the flaps that hang down over the ears. He’s standing on a box, with a towel wrapped around him like a cape. His arms are stretched out wide as if he is flying. He has a big smile and a marvelous look of pure enjoyment. The writing with the picture says, “Son, from playing the hero…” Then when you open the card, there’s another picture of a grown man, walking on the beach with his child sitting on his shoulders, holding onto Dad’s hands. They’re playing happily in the waves. The caption underneath this picture, and in an obvious continuation of the sentiment from the cover reads, “…To being the Hero.” Then on the other side of the card is written: “How wonderful it has been to watch you grow into the amazing man you are. Happy Father’s Day.” Then it’s signed simply, “Love You, Mom and Dad.”

Now inside the card from my wife is a picture of our two children, happy as all get-out. Opposite of the picture are the following words: “‘Walk a little slower, Daddy,’ said a child so small. ‘I’m following in your footsteps and I don’t want to fall. Sometimes your steps are very fast. Sometimes they’re hard to see; so walk a little slower, Daddy, for you are leading me. Someday when I’m all grown up, you’re what I want to be. Then I will have a little child who’ll want to follow me. And I would want to lead just right, and know that I was true. So walk a little slower, Daddy, for I must follow you.’”

I have to tell you, about a week or so after getting those cards, I brought them into my office and read them again, maybe ten times or more. They made me cry — and I’m not just talking about getting watery eyed. That happens even when I watch sappy TV. I’m talking about a caught-off-guard, grimacing, tears-rolling-down-my-face-crying-like-a-little-kid-kind-of-cry. Talk about a Hallmark moment.

In hindsight, I don’t really know why the cards affected me like they did. Maybe I was having a bad day at the office, or had been short-tempered with my kids or my wife earlier that morning, and it made me remorseful. Or maybe it was because I really didn’t think that I was worth such neat cards. Regardless, they did something besides generate tears. They still do.

The cards make me stop and reflect. They motivate me and make me appreciative of all that life has to offer, as well as the responsibilities and obligations that we have in life. The cards also impress upon me the fact that we have to be mindful of everything; that everything matters, and even what doesn’t matter — matters.

You see, if it matters to you, but not to somebody else, it certainly matters, right? Intuitively then, if it matters to somebody else, but not to you, it still matters, though, because it matters to that person. That’s why the so-called “Golden Rule” is flawed. It shouldn't be, “Treat people the way you want to be treated.” After all, “you” could be a real jerk and think it’s okay to treat, and be treated, like a jerk. What the Golden Rule actually should say is, “Treat people the way they want to be treated.” That’s assuming they’re not devil-worshipping, sadomasochists into bad music. That is not good.

But seriously, it’s not just a difference in wordsmithing — it’s not. There’s a fundamental differentiation in the philosophy between the two interpretations. Simply stated, one’s self-oriented, and one’s others-oriented.

Others-Oriented is Good.

Feeling Blue? Think 9:02

Last week, on a business trip to Oklahoma City - I was fortunate to visit the Oklahoma City National Memorial - which honors the victims, survivors, rescuers, and all who were changed forever from the horrific Oklahoma City bombing. (BTW: The picture on the left was taken from my phone. It's a statue of Jesus, with the words: "And Jesus Wept." Very moving, to say the least.)

If I could describe the experience in one word: IMPACTFUL.

While the memorial itself is astonishing, and purposeful - the timing of my visit, given my "attitude" that day - made it all that more meaningful. You see, I was having one of those days where everything seemed like a burden, and a bother. In addition to being bummed, and peeved at (too) many things - I was also experiencing a selfish, oh-whoa-is-me episode. Yea, it happens; but shame on me for letting it happen.

But shortly after arriving at the memorial, it dawned on me that I was being totally, absolutely, positively selfish, petty, and inappropriate given the reality of why the memorial is here: which of course is to honor the death of 168 people, killed at 9:02 am on April 19, 1995. (BTW: The next picture shows the grounds where there are chairs representing the men, woman and children killed that day. Again, incredibly moving.)

I realized that given all the wonderful blessings in my life - what right did I have to be so small, and petty, especially when you consider all of those lives lost, and those lives forever changed, on that sad sad day. For me to feel "blue" about such little things, in the big scheme of things - given what happened in 1995 at 9:02 - is wrong, and frankly, shameful. Really.

At the memorial, the following words are written; let's all take them to task.

"WE COME HERE TO REMEMBER THOSE WHO WERE KILLED, THOSE WHO SURVIVED AND THOSE CHANGED FOREVER. MAY ALL WHO LEAVE HERE KNOW THE IMPACT OF VIOLENCE. MAY THIS MEMORIAL OFFER COMFORT, STRENGTH, PEACE. HOPE AND SERENITY."

Selfishness, Spite, Shallowness, and Pettiness are Bad.

Comfort, Peace, Hope, and Serenity Are Good.

It's Over ... And It's Just Begun!

Recently, I was asked to address some college graduates about dealing with the issues and uncertainties specific to work, and life. (Where to begin, right!?) To help keep my on track (darn that ADD), I prepared a short presentation titled, “It’s Over, and It’s Just Begun.”

While the title, at first impression, might seem somewhat glum and pessimistic, depending on your disposition of choice (like whether the clichéd cup is half-full or half-empty: me thinks both) - the emphasis was all about positive pragmatism.

When you think about it, “It’s over, and it’s just begun” isn’t just some lame, bumper-sticker catch-phrase for a one-time event like graduating from school, getting a new job, or having to start working for a living — although that certainly does apply. The fact is, almost everything that we have to do and/or deal with has a beginning and an end. No duh, right?

But really, most everything’s cyclical: School starts, school ends. Jobs start, jobs end. Companies start, they end. Relationships start, and they can end. Most profoundly of all: life begins and life ends, at least the physical form as we know it.

As the ubiquitous, encompassing sound-bite goes: “It is what it is.”

But wait. Before you think I’m being fatalistic or cavalier, I want you to know that I really do appreciate the fact that some beginnings, and endings, are much more difficult than others, requiring special appreciation and mindfulness. The more we value (in context), that things begin and end, the more we need to enjoy the here and now. If we can successfully harness what we learn through life’s beginnings, endings, and in-betweens … the better we can navigate and manage the new beginnings, endings, and in-betweens. Does that make sense?

By the way, fate and destiny have nothing to do with anything. They’re an excuse disguised as rational. After all, Darth Vader was wrong: it wasn’t Luke’s destiny to go to the dark side. Was it?

Our destiny is what we make of it. As George Eliot said, “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” Unless we just want to give up and disappoint ourselves, and those who need and love us every time something comes to an end; or unless we’re afraid, for whatever reason, to take on new beginnings and blame it on fate or destiny — we have to understand what’s at stake. We have to discern what we have or have not, and appreciate what we could win or lose, depending on our choices. Then we need to do what we need to do; get ready, and go.

In other words, get to work.

With every new challenge, we should be better, stronger, and wiser; appreciating that work takes work, and hard work takes hard work. As an added bonus, the reward for our hard work and determination will help us know so much more in many different ways: intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Taken together - it's all about positive pragmatism.

Positive Pragmatism is Good.

Got Good PAAM?!

In this crazy (yet wonderful) world; full of crazy (yet wonderful) stuff; with crazy (yet wonderful) people; doing crazy (yet wonderful) things; living crazy (yet wonderful) lives - the importance for us to have a positive, do-it-anyway, turn-the-other-cheek, chin-up, flip-that-frown-upside-down, upbeat mentality toward craziness, is ... IMPERATIVE.

To help us see, why this is so - check out what Mother Teresa wrote in her brilliant piece of writing called “The Final Analysis”:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

Hits home, don’t it?

Similarly (but from a completely different spectrum) - there’s a fun, old-school, Dennis the Menace cartoon, where Dennis is forced to sit in a chair facing the corner, as he was required to when he did something that he shouldn't have. With his dad and mom hovering behind him unhappily, Dennis muses, “But we’ll laugh about this when we’re older.” Cute, yes, but there's a point, right?!

And there's a more important point from Mother Theresa's heart of hearts - and that's that good perspective, attitude, aptitude and mindfulness (PAAM) matters.

It matters a lot.

The fact is, we're living in a crazy (yet wonderful) time; with lots of crazy (yet wonderful) people; doing crazy (yet wonderful) things; living crazy (yet wonderful) lives. And how we choose to deal with this reality - is up to us and our PAAM.

Crazy (yet wonderful) is Good.

Much More Better!

On a recent family road trip - my kids passed the time by watching the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie on a portable DVD. (You know, when I was a kid, we passed the time by being bored; soo not fair.) And while it would have been nice to have watched as well (safety first, you know) - I was able to listen along, and enjoyed the movie nonetheless. And since I've seen the movie about two dozen times, I was able to visualize most of the scenes anyhow.

One of my favorite sayings in the movie (admittedly, I have lots of them) is from Captain Jack, when he quips, "Much More Better!" Not only is it a fun part of the movie - the line has become somewhat embedded in my own nomenclature. In fact, as Jack himself would muse, it's become part of my repartee; my lexicon, rap, and parlance. I even have a tendency to mimic his accent when saying it (much to the embarrasment of my wife and kids). But hey, having lived in England for more than 7 years, I can still deliver a rather convincing British dialect, if I say so myself, thank you very much. Spot on, what what?!

Think about it: Who doesn't want things to be Much More Better?

I do! Don't you?

So the next time you're thinking about doing something - that's really worth doing - at work, in business, and in life - ask yourself: How can I make this Much More Better? After all, nobody likes a Davey Jones. He's uuggllyy. And Much More Worse.

Much More Better is Good.