Keeping It Real (and Good) In 2011

At this time of year, many of us contemplate, sign-up for and commit to various New Years resolutions. It's our thing.  That said, and in recognition of the yin/yang of 2010 (albeit it way better than the grind of 2008 and 2009), it's easy to see why we want to focus on positive resolutions. (As if anyone would sign up for negative ones, right?)

But before we go setting overachieving, unbelievably optimistic resolutions that involve words like terrific, fantastic, extraordinary, phenomenal, incredible and all those other type of super-duper adjectives - let's keep the expectations real, and manageable, and most of all achievable.  Think positive pragmatism.   

That said, a word that that fits nicely given past issues, present dynamics and future uncertainties, is the word (drum roll please): good. In fact, good is great.  It's achievable, believable and realistic.  It works.

So here's to keeping it real, and keeping good health, good friends, good business, good careers, good spirituality, good love, good hugs, and good family, for good living.

Good is Good.

Happy New Year!

Tis' The Mood That Makes The Season!

Listen merry merriers and bring forth an ear.  I've got a tale to tell so you best huddle near. 

But before I embark, make remedy now: dash to the kitchen and rustle up chow.  Warm up your cup and kindle the fire; I'm ready to roll, so appease my desire!

T'was upon a cold, morning clear; my eyes were not a' twinkle, no coffee near.  At the job I was already, no frolicking in sight - my spirits were low and my attitude not bright.  All work and no play, make Scott a dull boy; it's true what they say, I wasn't a joy. 

Oh woe ... oh me ... was dreary as can be!  

Why here ... why now ... can't fun be with me!?  

Then out of the blue came a stranger so bright: could it be a vision? A ghost? Or some trick of the light?  "Hold still," I cried, "Stay just where you are! You've scared me oh, so best keep afar!"  

"Chill dude," the aberration said with a laugh, "I'm here to bring cheer and help you relax."  "Relax!?" I replied, "There can be no such thing. I have work and commitments that make my head ring!  I have deadlines, reports and emails a' plenty ... not to mention Christmas day is all but upon me!"   

"Now my good man," said the vision with ease, "Listen to my words for a dose of some peace.  For what I say you may not get, but when I leave you shan't ever forget.  Stand-up straight, don't slouch down - for you're about to hear the soundest advise around." 

At that the mirage smiled and gave forth a wink, and continued to speak of things I could not think.  It said in voice clear and clean, the following words I found so serene.  "A donut with no hole is a danish; a flute with no holes is a stick; yin with no yang is unzenlike; cathedrals aren't built from just bricks!"  

At that my eyes opened and my heart gave way ... my gloomy spirits were lifted, and my funky funk went away.  Oh joy is me, I truly do understand: it's so simple, so pure, yet full of command!   

So my good reader, put down this tall tale, and run with me fast to the bar for some ale.  Now raise a good toast to the heavens above, it's time to make merry and bring forth the love! 

Hug your family, your friends and your neighbors too ...  'cause it's time to put work aside for a few.  Shout and be happy and sing something snappy. 

Life is good, we are fine; all is great, at this time. 

Have a safe and happy holiday season.

Safe and Happy are Good.

Tiny Triumphs

When it comes to "self promotion" - especially when it's needed to get a job,  raise, or even a date - it seems that most everyone wants to highlight and/or talk about their super big achievements.  While that's all fine and good, the number of those super big achievements pales in comparison to the number of "tiny triumphs" that are a major basis for who we are, where we are, how we got here, and what makes us tick.      

The problem though, is how/when/where/why to communicate those important yet under appreciated tiny triumphs, in the impressionable, get-to-know process? After all, it's hard to put those tiny triumphs into a basic resume, interview, or date conversations - let alone do it in a way that isn't boring, and without purpose (we've all met those people, right!?).        

The answer: plan ahead; figure it out; find a way; fit it in; get it done - especially the most impactful, best-of-the-best tiny triumphs.  Even better, call it out by name.  In other words - let the other person know, at the right time and place, how you feel tiny triumphs are the building blocks that help make us who we are.  Then, give an example - but only the one really big tiny triumph that will be most relevant to that person, or situation.  And watch 'em light up, when you take a tiny triumph and turn it into a fun, captivating, worthwhile story.  Give it a go!   
   

Tiny Triumphs Are Good.          

Judging Vs. Judgmental (With Props to Ben)

When judging, it's important to not be judgmental.  In other words, when making an important decision that requires true objectivity - be that at work, or life - we have to ensure that our ultimate decision is not based on ours, or others, "pre-filtered" individual opinions.  That's being (problematically) judgmental.   

Think about it: how can we truly expect to get the best-of-the-best decision, if/when our individual biases (especially the superficial ones) get in the way. We can't.  Now, try as we might to not be judgmental - and moreover, judge with objectivity - that's easier said than done. That's why, when it comes to quality decision making, it's absolutely imperative that we screen our assumptions/presumptions/conclusions  through the right system - like the Ben Franklin system, for instance.  That one always works: it's easy, quick and effective. 

What's that!?  Never heard of the Ben Franklin "scales of justice" system?  Well then, let's give it a go.  Simply draw a horizontal line down the middle of a piece of paper, and another vertical towards the top of the page (so that it looks like a scale).  On the top of the left side write "Pros," and on the top right side write "Cons."  Then when ready, jot down your lists.  When done, go with which side has the most, just like an objective scale would do (assuming you didn't cheat; Ben don't like cheaters).    

By leveraging Ben Franklin's simple system to help us objectively judge our big decisions ... and using the best and most accurate information available ... it stands to reason that this little extra step will help us overcome those obscured judge-mentalists tendencies.  And maybe, avoid some big issues down the road. 

At least we hope, right.

Objective Judging is Good.

Tempered Uniqueness

Been thinking about uniqueness: the good and the bad, and the yin and the yang of it. And, after much thought and deliberation (I know, get a life Scott, right!?), I'm figuring that while it's nice to be unique, its more important that our uniqueness doesn't get in the way of our true potential.  Nope, not worth it in the long haul. 

Check it out: while self-expression and individuality are welcome and wanted, we have to be careful that we don't go overboard, and alienate ourselves in the process.  Because uniqueness - at the sacrifice of opportunity - is a hard pill to swallow, let alone digest.    

For many people, especially young adults just entering the workforce - that "tempered uniqueness" is easier said then done, especially as the boundaries between what's acceptable or not, are open to interpretations and influence.  That's why the best rule-of-thumb, especially at work, is to keep the uniqueness in check with your  employer's/customer's/market's expectations of what is acceptable. When in doubt as to what's right or wrong or suspect - look around, take note and go with what's safe.  That applies to everything: how we dress, talk, walk, write and express ourselves. 

As they say: perception is reality.    

Here's another reality: we typically don't get fired for "looking the part," especially if we perform the part. So, if our uniqueness impacts our hiring, promoting or (gulp) firing - then keep it out of the workplace.  Period. 

Tempered Uniqueness is Good.

The Remedy to Smiling Deniers (Hint: Adapt)

We've all met a smiling denier, right? You know, someone that says "nope," nuh-uh" and "sorry charlie" - but with an actual smile on their face.  Like that makes the "ain't gonna happen," "no-way Jose" taste any better!?  (Not.)   

Oh, the tyranny of it all; mixing a smiling face - or at least the attempt at one - with a no. That's not even bitter/sweet: its just annoying. And more often than not, that smile is a clear signal that the no is a big-time NO. In other words, it seems that those that smile when saying no - are typically more adamant about sticking to their no.  Go figure. 

So what to do about/with this positive naysayer? Well, 1) smile back, 2) say thanks and 3) ask in a respectful matter-of-factness: "Is there room for discussion?" If the answer is an unquestionable no, then the answer is no.

Move on. Save face.  That's that.  Adapt.  

If the answer is somewhere between okay/maybe/I don't know/we'll see, then tread lightly with a simple. "Great, what do we need to clarify?" Then let them lead the way, respond accordingly and if possible, find a healthy compromise, while keeping in mind that sometimes it's best to let them win in the end, so that you can fight the good fight - and maybe a better fight - another day. 

Win some; lose some, right.

But win or lose - we need to adapt, either way.  Because in business, as in life - it's about evolution, not revolution.  As Darwin discovered (and more often than not, people get wrong): survival isn't about being the strongest, it's being the most adaptable.  

Adaptable Is Good.