Monday, October 26, 2009

Mindful Minding Minds



Think about it: To thrive at work and life, we need to be mindful. You know, use our brains. We can’t be anyone or do anything, if we don’t put our minds to it. As they say, mind-over-matter. So, we need to feed our minds to their fullest - and hopefully, with good stuff.

And one of the best ways to feed our minds is to read with a committed purpose to really reading, not just to pass the time or go through the motions. Take the time to read, whether we’re reading fact or fiction, magazines, newspapers, cereal boxes, pamphlets handed to us on the street corner, and writing on the bathroom wall (hhmm, we need to be careful with that one).

When we find it, we should read it, whether we agree with it, or not. In fact, that’s one of the most important reasons to read everything: to challenge what we believe, as we assimilate an author’s opinions, ideology, and philosophy. If we only read what we’re comfortable with today, or what we’re told to read because “that’s just the way we think, and that’s just the way it is,” then how can we ever hope to be sympathetic, or at least empathetic, to viewpoints other than our own. What if they’re right, or just partially right? What if? We’ll never know what we might need to know, or should know, if we don’t try. That’s called willful ignorance. And ignorance is ignorant (and stupid).

On the other hand, if we don’t want to be ignorant, and instead, choose to learn, understand, and experience new things — the best and the cheapest way, other than being on the job or there in person, is by reading.

Another great way to feed our minds is to listen genuinely. This one’s not always easy, because unlike reading, where it’s only one person — the ability to listen in the give-and-take of a conversation requires much more work. Reading uses just the brain, eyes, and maybe the hands. Okay, sometimes we move our lips while reading silently and it can be kind of embarrassing. But it’s not a crime (at least I hope not; otherwise lock me up.)

Good listening requires a lot of energy and focus, unless we’re just listening to the TV, radio, or movies. I’m talking about in-person listening, which needs the brain, the ears, the eyes, the mouth, and the body. It requires “presence,” even when not personally present, like when we’re on the phone. Often, listening can be uncomfortable, because good listeners listen first and foremost to whatever the speaker has to say, whether we like it or not. That’s called active listening. Then we talk. In between listening and talking, we think. Concurrent to listening, talking, and thinking — we express interest through our presence, vis-à-vis our eyes, mouth, posture, and hands. That’s body language. We use active listening and body language to show the speaker that we care, and that we are actually listening. Sometimes it’s easier said than done. Good listening is hard.

Our ability to listen is either an attribute or a detriment. We can’t overemphasis the importance of good listening, and being recognized as a good listener. There’s an old adage about why God gave us two ears and one mouth, implying that we should listen twice as much as we talk. The fact is, being a poor listener is a hard label to overcome, just like it is with most labels. So be known as a good listener. More importantly, really be a good listener. Do it for you, and do it for others. Listening is good.

A third way to improve our minds is by trying new things, meeting new people, and seeing new places — as well as through writing, prayer, and meditation. We also improve our minds by doing the daily stuff that we often take for granted, like spending quality time with family and friends, listening to music, playing sports, fixing something, working out, cooking, and yes, even the ho-hum things, like vacuuming and doing the dishes. You know, as a busy adult, I now understand and appreciate why my dad enjoyed washing the dishes. As a kid, it never made much sense to me. Every night when he was home, he would do the dishes, quietly and deliberately. Now, every night that I’m home, I do them as well. For one, this is because I am my father’s son, and proud to be. Two, this is because it’s a great time to think and reflect. Reflection is good.

Mentally, we should strive to do everything that we can to make our minds better, with the ultimate, never-ending pursuit for wisdom, virtue and peace-of-mind. Don’t get me wrong — information, smarts, knowledge, know-how, skills, trades, common sense, and general competencies are important. While they’re good as individual assets, they’re even better when leveraged collectively, because that’s when we can start to approach wisdom, virtue, and peace-of-mind. That should be our objective, our aspiration, our dream, and our nirvana.

Mindful Minding Minds Are Good.