Feeling Blue? Think 9:02

Last week, on a business trip to Oklahoma City - I was fortunate to visit the Oklahoma City National Memorial - which honors the victims, survivors, rescuers, and all who were changed forever from the horrific Oklahoma City bombing. (BTW: The picture on the left was taken from my phone. It's a statue of Jesus, with the words: "And Jesus Wept." Very moving, to say the least.)

If I could describe the experience in one word: IMPACTFUL.

While the memorial itself is astonishing, and purposeful - the timing of my visit, given my "attitude" that day - made it all that more meaningful. You see, I was having one of those days where everything seemed like a burden, and a bother. In addition to being bummed, and peeved at (too) many things - I was also experiencing a selfish, oh-whoa-is-me episode. Yea, it happens; but shame on me for letting it happen.

But shortly after arriving at the memorial, it dawned on me that I was being totally, absolutely, positively selfish, petty, and inappropriate given the reality of why the memorial is here: which of course is to honor the death of 168 people, killed at 9:02 am on April 19, 1995. (BTW: The next picture shows the grounds where there are chairs representing the men, woman and children killed that day. Again, incredibly moving.)

I realized that given all the wonderful blessings in my life - what right did I have to be so small, and petty, especially when you consider all of those lives lost, and those lives forever changed, on that sad sad day. For me to feel "blue" about such little things, in the big scheme of things - given what happened in 1995 at 9:02 - is wrong, and frankly, shameful. Really.

At the memorial, the following words are written; let's all take them to task.

"WE COME HERE TO REMEMBER THOSE WHO WERE KILLED, THOSE WHO SURVIVED AND THOSE CHANGED FOREVER. MAY ALL WHO LEAVE HERE KNOW THE IMPACT OF VIOLENCE. MAY THIS MEMORIAL OFFER COMFORT, STRENGTH, PEACE. HOPE AND SERENITY."

Selfishness, Spite, Shallowness, and Pettiness are Bad.

Comfort, Peace, Hope, and Serenity Are Good.

It's Over ... And It's Just Begun!

Recently, I was asked to address some college graduates about dealing with the issues and uncertainties specific to work, and life. (Where to begin, right!?) To help keep my on track (darn that ADD), I prepared a short presentation titled, “It’s Over, and It’s Just Begun.”

While the title, at first impression, might seem somewhat glum and pessimistic, depending on your disposition of choice (like whether the clichéd cup is half-full or half-empty: me thinks both) - the emphasis was all about positive pragmatism.

When you think about it, “It’s over, and it’s just begun” isn’t just some lame, bumper-sticker catch-phrase for a one-time event like graduating from school, getting a new job, or having to start working for a living — although that certainly does apply. The fact is, almost everything that we have to do and/or deal with has a beginning and an end. No duh, right?

But really, most everything’s cyclical: School starts, school ends. Jobs start, jobs end. Companies start, they end. Relationships start, and they can end. Most profoundly of all: life begins and life ends, at least the physical form as we know it.

As the ubiquitous, encompassing sound-bite goes: “It is what it is.”

But wait. Before you think I’m being fatalistic or cavalier, I want you to know that I really do appreciate the fact that some beginnings, and endings, are much more difficult than others, requiring special appreciation and mindfulness. The more we value (in context), that things begin and end, the more we need to enjoy the here and now. If we can successfully harness what we learn through life’s beginnings, endings, and in-betweens … the better we can navigate and manage the new beginnings, endings, and in-betweens. Does that make sense?

By the way, fate and destiny have nothing to do with anything. They’re an excuse disguised as rational. After all, Darth Vader was wrong: it wasn’t Luke’s destiny to go to the dark side. Was it?

Our destiny is what we make of it. As George Eliot said, “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” Unless we just want to give up and disappoint ourselves, and those who need and love us every time something comes to an end; or unless we’re afraid, for whatever reason, to take on new beginnings and blame it on fate or destiny — we have to understand what’s at stake. We have to discern what we have or have not, and appreciate what we could win or lose, depending on our choices. Then we need to do what we need to do; get ready, and go.

In other words, get to work.

With every new challenge, we should be better, stronger, and wiser; appreciating that work takes work, and hard work takes hard work. As an added bonus, the reward for our hard work and determination will help us know so much more in many different ways: intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Taken together - it's all about positive pragmatism.

Positive Pragmatism is Good.

Got Good PAAM?!

In this crazy (yet wonderful) world; full of crazy (yet wonderful) stuff; with crazy (yet wonderful) people; doing crazy (yet wonderful) things; living crazy (yet wonderful) lives - the importance for us to have a positive, do-it-anyway, turn-the-other-cheek, chin-up, flip-that-frown-upside-down, upbeat mentality toward craziness, is ... IMPERATIVE.

To help us see, why this is so - check out what Mother Teresa wrote in her brilliant piece of writing called “The Final Analysis”:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

Hits home, don’t it?

Similarly (but from a completely different spectrum) - there’s a fun, old-school, Dennis the Menace cartoon, where Dennis is forced to sit in a chair facing the corner, as he was required to when he did something that he shouldn't have. With his dad and mom hovering behind him unhappily, Dennis muses, “But we’ll laugh about this when we’re older.” Cute, yes, but there's a point, right?!

And there's a more important point from Mother Theresa's heart of hearts - and that's that good perspective, attitude, aptitude and mindfulness (PAAM) matters.

It matters a lot.

The fact is, we're living in a crazy (yet wonderful) time; with lots of crazy (yet wonderful) people; doing crazy (yet wonderful) things; living crazy (yet wonderful) lives. And how we choose to deal with this reality - is up to us and our PAAM.

Crazy (yet wonderful) is Good.

Much More Better!

On a recent family road trip - my kids passed the time by watching the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie on a portable DVD. (You know, when I was a kid, we passed the time by being bored; soo not fair.) And while it would have been nice to have watched as well (safety first, you know) - I was able to listen along, and enjoyed the movie nonetheless. And since I've seen the movie about two dozen times, I was able to visualize most of the scenes anyhow.

One of my favorite sayings in the movie (admittedly, I have lots of them) is from Captain Jack, when he quips, "Much More Better!" Not only is it a fun part of the movie - the line has become somewhat embedded in my own nomenclature. In fact, as Jack himself would muse, it's become part of my repartee; my lexicon, rap, and parlance. I even have a tendency to mimic his accent when saying it (much to the embarrasment of my wife and kids). But hey, having lived in England for more than 7 years, I can still deliver a rather convincing British dialect, if I say so myself, thank you very much. Spot on, what what?!

Think about it: Who doesn't want things to be Much More Better?

I do! Don't you?

So the next time you're thinking about doing something - that's really worth doing - at work, in business, and in life - ask yourself: How can I make this Much More Better? After all, nobody likes a Davey Jones. He's uuggllyy. And Much More Worse.

Much More Better is Good.

Don't Be A Mr. Bill (OHH NOOO!)

This past Sunday, I had the smile-full joy of listening to our priest, one exceptionally cool Father Kevin - deliver his homily using the old-school SNL cartoon, Mr. Bill, as the fodder for his message. To Father Kevin's immense credit, it was masterful. (For the record, I'm not trying to get extra credit with Father Kevin, although God only knows I can use all the help I can get.)

To paraphrase Father Kevin - its important that we all live and work from reality (with props to awareness and active learning) - so as to avoid the infamous Mr. Bill proclamation:

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ...

Which would inevitably be howled by Mr. Bill himself, just before his squishy pulverization (he was made of clay, you see) by Mr. Hands or Slugo. Sadly, the show always ended the same. Mr. Bill never made it. Nope. And therefore, he never learned his lesson.

Indeed, Mr. Bill had a (painful) propensity to always find himself in an "OHH NOOO" situation - even though he was mutilated over, and over, and over again. Why didn't he learn?! Now while this was, and still is for that matter, a silly, whimsical cartoon - it sadly parallels some of us in real life. The fact of the matter is, most of us (including me for sure) have our own "why won't we ever learn" convenient memory forgetfulness. You know, the kind of stuff that we should know by now, yet we continue to ignore them, and in our own way - get the Mr Bill treatment; albeit hopefully not as painful.

So the next time we have an "OHH NOOO" moment (out loud or in our conscience) - lets make sure not to repeat that same mistake again. To help with that, maybe we should visualize how it would feel to be pummeled by a pair of hands and a fire extinguisher ten times our size. (For those playing at home, that was one of the preferred punishments for poor Mr. Bill.)

Take it from Mr. Bill - it's best to stay whole.

OHH NOO is Bad.

UnAnswered Prayers (And Props to Garth)

So the other morning, I'm driving to the office: slowing up/slowing down; flipping through the radio; looking at the blackberry; juggling my coffee; flipping through the radio; thinking hard/hardly thinking; changing lanes; flipping through the radio; when BAM - it hits me:

No, not another car or anything like that; but impactful none the less. Believe it or not, I had happened upon the bitter-sweet Garth Brooks ballad, Unanswered Prayers. And man, I listened to the song, and lyrics, like I never listened to it before. Brought a lump to my throat; moisture to my eyes.

Yea, I know what your saying: "What What!? Dude, that's kinda lame, and like, not even old-school, retro cool." Whatever; I still liked it. And mostly I liked it because it made me think about how true that expression is -and how it applied to my life. Don't know what it was about that song at that moment, but I really personalized it to my life as it is now.

You see, right before I met my wife, I was going to join the CIA, and with any luck, be stationed in Europe, where I did most of my growing up. No kidding, I pined/yearned/romanced/longed-for, and literally prayed for a CIA gig where I could be one part Abbott, one part Bond (neither shaken nor stirred). True Story.

Well, suffice it to say, my prayers went unanswered; thankfully. Now, rather than being a cool, secret agent spy man, living in exotic locations, saving the world and getting all the babes - I'm now a cool (if i say so myself), visibly active family man, working for a loving, living in a suburb, with one smokin' babe (uh yea, that would be my wife), two fantastic kids, a dog, a cat, two frogs, and a hamster. Truly ... I'm one happy, blessed guy. And I still get to live vicariously as a spy through the movies. Talk about a package deal.

So you see gang, sometimes, unanswered prayers are good. Even better, is that genuine, heartfelt, compassionate, others-oriented prayers can and should be asked, and hopefully get answered. Pretty neat how that works out.

Prayers Are Good (Even the unanswered).

The PorchLights Cause

As a friend of "The PorchLights Cause” ... which is to help young adults, as well as families, schools, employers, and communities - enjoy more happiness, compassion, and success, at work and life … we’d like to ask for your help.

You see, given the ginormous challenges and opportunities of today, it’s important that we do our best to live happy, balanced lives that respect, appreciate, and fulfill: good work, good business, good faith, good family, good caring, good community, good love, good learning, good money, good spirituality, good life, for good living. Oh yea, and whenever possible, to get up and dance (that's actually what I'm doing in the picture above; just don't laugh).

In other words – its important that we strive to THRIVE and PROSPER.

With that in mind, The PorchLights Group is asking for your support to help us achieve our goal for “books in hands” in 2009, which is 100,000; we have about 87,000 to go. (NP, right ;)

So please, keep doing what you can to help pass on our heartfelt purpose - to anyone and everyone who can help bring the book, and more important, the PorchLights Cause, into families, high schools, colleges, vocational schools, not-for-profits, philanthropic organizations/foundations, and progressive companies. We really do need, and appreciate, your support. In addition to using this blog and our website http://www.pocketporchlights.com/, to help promote our cause - feel free to forward this new YouTube video as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hWxm4nM4qY

Thanks again for your friendship and support.

Friendship and Support Are Good.