Saturday, December 19, 2009

Thumbs-Up!


If you've been paying any attention to the NFL, you'd know that the (absolutely awesome) Indianapolis Colts are 14 and 0. Repeat: 14 and 0. And while I realize that's only a news flash if you've been living on Mars (or you're a head-in-the-sand Patriots fan) - it's important to give their success some added air time. Because after all - it's big. Really big. More so, it's good and commendable.

Sure - me likey me hometown Colts. They rock! And while the season is far from over, and the ultimate goal this year is to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl - you have to pause to give them their props, today. Right now. At this moment. Why? Because they deserve it. They do. Just like other people and other things do: IF ... THEY ... DO.

You see, when good and commendable things happen - and those good and commendable things are genuinely good and commendable - it's important to take notice, and give it (or them) its due accord. And we don't just do this for the good and commendable things in sports - but the good and commendable things at work, family, and life.

With all of the negativity of today, it's important to be positive about the positives. Granted, there's issues, right!? We're flawed. We're imperfect. We make mistakes. Indeed, there's lots of bad things happening, and yes, we need to work on those, and get them fixed.

But at the same time, and in real-time, let's appreciate the good and the commendable - and give them their props, their atta-boys, their kudos, their thumbs-up. And we don't just do this because its the nice thing to do; we do this because it's the right thing to do.

So if something is good and commendable - let 'em know it.

Thumbs-Up!

Good and Commendable Is Good and Commendable.

(And oh yea - GO COLTS!)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Kermit Karma (i.e. Positively Others-Oriented)



Hi, Ho! Kermit the Frog here. My good ol' buddy Scott asked me to guest write his blog - which I am oh-so happy to do. (But between you and me, this request proves what I've always thought about Scott: that while he's a swell guy ... he's kind of needy, somewhat lazy, and intellectually clumsy ... just like Fozzy the Bear. But I do love 'em both, for the most part; he he he he he he ;)

So - where was I? Gonzoooooo!? Gonzoooooo!?

Oh yea, Scott asked me to write this blog and explain what he calls "Kermit Karma." (Frankly, I have no idea what he means by Kermit Karma, except that it might have something to do with how I like to treat people with courtesy and happiness.)

Sure, people know me as a simple, green, stuffed frog that’s sole purpose is to be entertaining to children. And you bet! I do love children very much, and to see them smile is like sunshine reflecting off a lily pad. And for a frog, that is a wonderful sight.

However, I also have a very spiritual side. I believe in peace, love, sharing, caring, and the understanding of life, others and one's self. The rainbow connection song (my personal favorite, and one that you should listen to when you get the chance) is a good example of what I feel, and believe we all feel at times.

To paraphrase that song, and my green philosophy (let it be known that I was the original green before green became cool):

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND.

In other words, if you do good and good onto others - good will happen to you. If you do bad and bad onto others, well, shudder the thought. Taken together, I think that's what my homeboy Abbott means by "Kermit Karma." And yea, I try to swim my life by those precepts. But, lest you think me big-headed, or that I've eating too many fermented bugs and over indulged in polluted pond water, please know that I am a humble little frog, and know that I don't own the corner on this type of thinking/behaving/living. Nope, got work to do still. Always will.

That said, we are all capable of being positively others-oriented - even those two bullies in the balcony, Statler and Waldorf. (Well, on second thoughts, some folks just don't get it and/or won't want to get it: and that's why they get stuck in the balcony, mean and all alone. And who wants to be mean and alone? Yuck!)

Sure, being positively others-oriented takes work. But if I can do it with Miss Piggy, and hundreds of other crazy, uncontrollable Muppets (it's not easy being green) - chances are, you can do it with those in your world as well. Trust me.

Positively Others-Oriented is Good (just like eating flies).

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Oreo Word


There's this word. It's a big word. A good word. It's a word that's both ubiquitous and stealth; over-used and under-used; tangible and intangible; bold and subtle. Given it's diverse impressions and interpretations - one would argue that we're not all on the same page with regard to what the word really means. Why it's used. And what it's all about.

It's an enigma, indeed. (Would that be a wordigma?)

Now, being such an important and worthy word - I thought we could use some remedial schooling on said word - just to make sure that we are all on the same page. So, in the spirit of school spirit (you know the drill: "we got spirit, yes we do, we got spirit - how 'bout you.") - this is a repeat after me chant.

Ready. Get-Set. Go.

Give me an H ("H!"). Give me a U ("U!"). Give me an M ("M!"). Give me an A ("A!). Give me N ("N!"). Give me an I ("I!"). Give me a T ("T!"). Give me an A ("A!"). Give me an R ("R!"). Give me an I ("I!"). Give me an A ("A!"). Give me an N ("N!"). Now what's that spell!!??

HUMANITARIAN!!!

What's that spell!!

HUMANITARIAN!!!

What's that mean??

Well, think of it like an Oreo cookie, with the top of the cookie being compassion, the bottom of the cookie being fellowship, and the creamy filling made up of kindness, humility, mindfulness, courtesy, empathy, attentiveness, active listening, others-oriented, passion, spirituality, giving and integrity. Even better - partner it up with an ice cold glass of milk (lets call this a metaphor for friends and family) - and you've got a tasty treat.

Word!

Humanitarian is Good.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Bahumbug the Bahumbugers


Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of starting Christmas activity until after Thanksgiving - and even then, think its best to wait until December. Be that as it may, our family went and saw the new Jim Carrey Christmas Carol today. (Let's chalk that one up to a big case of cabin fever, and a lack of other movie options for parents and kids alike.)

That said - I'm glad I went. And here's why.

Simply put, it reinforces the fact that being a bad-tempered, mean-spirited, soul-less secular jerk - devoid of faith in God, let alone good manners, compassion and purpose - is not only sad, its bad. And to Disney's credit (and my own dismay), this latest animated movie does an exceptional job of making the sad and bad aspects, quite graphic.

You know what though - given Scrooge's dire situation - I'm all for the "in-your-face/tell-it-like-it-is" messaging - just like Scrooge was, if you think about. You see, thanks to some intense shock therapy, Scrooge learns to change his knucklehead, nobody-likes-me-and-I-don't-like-nobody secular ways - and thankfully for him, before it was too late. (Unlike his ol' buddy, Marley.)

In Scrooge's case, I think the means justifies the ends. Although that way of thinking, doesn't always work, does it? In fact, sometimes, that strategy gets us into trouble.

Granted, Scrooge was an extreme case of bad behavior. That said, I've known a few runner-ups in my time, especially as it relates to the meanness and greed part (let alone ugly). And I'm sure we all can think of one or two people who sadly, and badly, share character traits of Scrooge.

But hey, be happy that you aren't one (at least I hope not). And two, take comfort in the fact that even they, like Scrooge, can change for the better. And hopefully, before its too late.

So bahumbug the bahumburgers. Better yet, just like Bob Cratchet and Scrooges nephew - let's wish them well, and hope that they change their ways. After all, Santa's looking in the window (well, maybe after Thanksgiving) - and he doesn't like naughty, he likes nice.

More important - God likes nice. And He's the ultimate judge.

Bahumbergers are Bad.

Wishing the Bahumburgers Well is Good.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mindful Minding Minds



Think about it: To thrive at work and life, we need to be mindful. You know, use our brains. We can’t be anyone or do anything, if we don’t put our minds to it. As they say, mind-over-matter. So, we need to feed our minds to their fullest - and hopefully, with good stuff.

And one of the best ways to feed our minds is to read with a committed purpose to really reading, not just to pass the time or go through the motions. Take the time to read, whether we’re reading fact or fiction, magazines, newspapers, cereal boxes, pamphlets handed to us on the street corner, and writing on the bathroom wall (hhmm, we need to be careful with that one).

When we find it, we should read it, whether we agree with it, or not. In fact, that’s one of the most important reasons to read everything: to challenge what we believe, as we assimilate an author’s opinions, ideology, and philosophy. If we only read what we’re comfortable with today, or what we’re told to read because “that’s just the way we think, and that’s just the way it is,” then how can we ever hope to be sympathetic, or at least empathetic, to viewpoints other than our own. What if they’re right, or just partially right? What if? We’ll never know what we might need to know, or should know, if we don’t try. That’s called willful ignorance. And ignorance is ignorant (and stupid).

On the other hand, if we don’t want to be ignorant, and instead, choose to learn, understand, and experience new things — the best and the cheapest way, other than being on the job or there in person, is by reading.

Another great way to feed our minds is to listen genuinely. This one’s not always easy, because unlike reading, where it’s only one person — the ability to listen in the give-and-take of a conversation requires much more work. Reading uses just the brain, eyes, and maybe the hands. Okay, sometimes we move our lips while reading silently and it can be kind of embarrassing. But it’s not a crime (at least I hope not; otherwise lock me up.)

Good listening requires a lot of energy and focus, unless we’re just listening to the TV, radio, or movies. I’m talking about in-person listening, which needs the brain, the ears, the eyes, the mouth, and the body. It requires “presence,” even when not personally present, like when we’re on the phone. Often, listening can be uncomfortable, because good listeners listen first and foremost to whatever the speaker has to say, whether we like it or not. That’s called active listening. Then we talk. In between listening and talking, we think. Concurrent to listening, talking, and thinking — we express interest through our presence, vis-à-vis our eyes, mouth, posture, and hands. That’s body language. We use active listening and body language to show the speaker that we care, and that we are actually listening. Sometimes it’s easier said than done. Good listening is hard.

Our ability to listen is either an attribute or a detriment. We can’t overemphasis the importance of good listening, and being recognized as a good listener. There’s an old adage about why God gave us two ears and one mouth, implying that we should listen twice as much as we talk. The fact is, being a poor listener is a hard label to overcome, just like it is with most labels. So be known as a good listener. More importantly, really be a good listener. Do it for you, and do it for others. Listening is good.

A third way to improve our minds is by trying new things, meeting new people, and seeing new places — as well as through writing, prayer, and meditation. We also improve our minds by doing the daily stuff that we often take for granted, like spending quality time with family and friends, listening to music, playing sports, fixing something, working out, cooking, and yes, even the ho-hum things, like vacuuming and doing the dishes. You know, as a busy adult, I now understand and appreciate why my dad enjoyed washing the dishes. As a kid, it never made much sense to me. Every night when he was home, he would do the dishes, quietly and deliberately. Now, every night that I’m home, I do them as well. For one, this is because I am my father’s son, and proud to be. Two, this is because it’s a great time to think and reflect. Reflection is good.

Mentally, we should strive to do everything that we can to make our minds better, with the ultimate, never-ending pursuit for wisdom, virtue and peace-of-mind. Don’t get me wrong — information, smarts, knowledge, know-how, skills, trades, common sense, and general competencies are important. While they’re good as individual assets, they’re even better when leveraged collectively, because that’s when we can start to approach wisdom, virtue, and peace-of-mind. That should be our objective, our aspiration, our dream, and our nirvana.

Mindful Minding Minds Are Good.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

It's Over, and It's Just Begun


When you think about it, much of the world ... and our existence in the world ... operates on a “it’s over, and it’s just begun” mantra. It's a rotational thing: The sun rises, the sun sets; the seasons come, the season go; we sleep, we wake; the Cubbies win, the Cubbies lose; the Cubbies lose; The Cubbies lose; The Cubbies win. (You get the picture).

On the other hand, there's lots of things that that we have to do and/or deal with that has a beginning, and an end - and that's that. No more. For example, jobs start, and they can end completely. Companies start, and they can end completely. Relationships start, and yes, they can end/end. Most profoundly of all: life begins and life ends, at least the physical form as we know it.

As the ubiquitous sound-bite goes … “It is what it is.”

But wait. Before you think I’m being fatalistic or cavalier, I want you to know that I really do appreciate the fact that some beginnings, and endings, are much more difficult than others, requiring special appreciation and mindfulness. The more we value (in context), that things begin and end, the more we need to enjoy the here and now. If we can successfully harness what we learn through life’s beginnings, endings, and in-betweens … the better we can navigate and manage the new beginnings, endings, and in-betweens. Does that make sense?

(By the way, fate and destiny have nothing to do with anything. They’re an excuse disguised as rational. After all, Darth Vader was wrong: it wasn’t Luke’s destiny to go to the dark side. Was it? Our destiny is what we make of it).

That said, I do believe that God has a hand in things; but He expects us to show up, and do the work. And do it as best we can. And thankfully, as George Eliot said, “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” (Cool way to look at it, no?) Really, unless we just want to give up and disappoint ourselves, and those who need and love us every time something comes to an end; or unless we’re afraid, for whatever reason, to take on new beginnings and blame it on fate or destiny —we have to understand what’s at stake. We have to discern what we have or have not, and appreciate what we could win or lose, depending on our choices.
Then we need to do what we need to do; get ready, and go.

In other words, get to work.

With every new challenge, we should be better, stronger, and wiser; appreciating that work takes work, and hard work takes hard work. As an added bonus, the reward for our hard work and determination will help us know so much more in many different ways: intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

The experience we earn, is never insignificant. It’s experience.

Experience is Good.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

When Judging and Being Judged


Can you smell it too? You know, that opinionated, oh-so-unfancy, party-foul scent of wrongful judgement, that gets passed by a "know-it-all", then fumes up the place, pollutes the air, clogs our nostrils, and challenges our ability to stay cool. And heck with the cool - because sometimes those stinkers foul up the place so bad - that you just have to send back a reactionary, yet equally opinionated, oh-so-unfancy, "well-take-that-you-know-it-all" counter judgement!

So much for the high road, right?!

Maybe its just me, but it seems like lately (let's blame it on the economy, of course), that more people than usual are stinking up the place, by inappropriately judging this and judging that, and making judgements with little appreciation to context, reality and facts (let alone the other side; 'cause there's always two) - so that these judgements more often than not are ignorant, and quite possibly, wrong ... or at a minimum ... suspect, superficial, inadequate, and challengeable. How's that for judgement!

No doubt, we are all "programmed" to a degree - and have our opinions based on so much stuff, from so many places. And no doubt that opinions are like belly buttons: we all have them. Be that as it may, some folks are so misappropriately hard-wired coded, that they need a serious reboot and/or a complete systems overhaul when it comes to their judgements.

Now, to help "judgementalists" junkies kick their bad habits, and jump-start their rehab - here's a smattering of some pretty good quotes, from some pretty smart people, with some pretty good thoughts with regard to judging and being judged.

Use them as you see fit; they're on the house.

"How dreadful it is when the right judge judges wrong." - Sophocles

"Hear the other side." - Augustine

"For to err in opinion or judgement, is human." - Plutarch

"How much easier it is to be critical than correct." - Disraeli

"You will be damned if you do and damned if you don't" - Dow

"Principles, opinions and assumptions - may and must be flexible." - Lincoln

"New people and their opinions are always suspected and usually opposed without any other reason but because they are not already common." - Locke

"Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing." - Emerson

"He who knows only his side of the case, knows little of that." - Mill

"To doubt everything or to believe in everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity to think and reflect." - Poincare

"He who can, does. He who can't, takes issue with he who can." - Shaw

"Nobody likes the man who brings bad news." - Sophocles

"Criticism comes easier then craftsmanship." - Zeuxis

Admittedly, those quotes are pretty heady, and somewhat heavy - but still absolutely, positively, nodoubtaboutitly, spot on. So, to lighten things up just a little bit - let's end with a joke, and a fitting one at that. (BTW: I'm pretty sure that my priest, Father Kevin, thinks its funny and fitting too; you'll see why that matters).

A smelly drunken man, sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?' The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, and lack of a bath.' The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' Then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man, and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?' The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

Understood, Rationalized, Objective Judging is Good.