Social (Media) Etiquette

My dad's fond of saying, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."  (Boy, if I had a nickle for every time he used that one on me.)  While that expression is pretty much old as dirt - it fits today, maybe now more than ever.  Especially when it comes to society's use of social media to publish opinions, and interact with other humans.  

Just because we can (all too) easily use Twitter, You Tube, Linkedin and FaceBook to push buttons and stir the pot - doesn't mean we should.  Nope.  For sure, I'm not alone in my concern for societies new found propensity to trash talk in an oh-so public way.  Lots of folks share a similar frustration.  One of the best public displays of concern comes from famed sports beat writer Mike Lopresti - in an article for USA Today. 

To Mr. Lepresti's enormous credit - he summed up, in one article, what would take me a year to think of and write myself.  No doubt, he's way more talented.  In appreciation of Lopresti's gift of thought and penmanship (and the fact that he gets there better/quicker than I ever could), I've cut and paste the crux of his article below.  If by chance Mr. L takes issue with my use of his smarts, please note that I have never profited from my blog, nor will I (as my reader will testify, right Mom?).      

So take it away Mike, it's all yours ....

"... The football player uses words like ``crook'' and ``devil,'' belittles his teammates and presents the lovely analogy that if the commissioner of the NFL were on fire, not even urine would be good enough to put out the flames.  So maybe more ... can be sold to a world where simple respect and common courtesy are as passé as rotary telephones, to the point where respect is no longer simple and courtesy certainly no longer common.  Thus, we have another example of the sad and sorry state of human interaction. We have the tirade of a ... thoroughly modern man.  Communication has never been more varied, more vast, more technologically exotic. We text, we tweet, we pass each other in the night on Facebook. Heck, sometimes we still even talk in person, and how quaint is that?  And here is the irony. The more advanced the mode of exchanging thoughts and words, the closer our behavior gets to the stone age. All these different and dazzling ways to discuss and compare and analyze and disagree and offer opinion. And all we can do is call names.  So why the flamethrower rhetoric? Just James being James, said his agent, his supporters, and those whose bar for civility is no higher than an anthill.  I find that alibi tiring. That would presume Harrison's only way to make his case is with insults. That cheapens the man, rather than flatters him. Is that who he wishes to be, someone listened to not for his thoughts, but his malice? That would put him on par with a good many talk show hosts.  But it sells. It draws a crowd, because in a culture so cluttered that people cannot watch a beautiful sunset without pulling out a device to push buttons, only the loudest and harshest voices get the notice.  And so you can turn on Fox to see which Democrat is an idiot, and on MSNBC to see which Republican is a fool. For actual rational and useful discussion, you have come to the wrong place, for the purpose is not to solve a problem but to blame the other side.  Communication is no longer used to teach and enrich and serve the public. It is used to attack, the faster the better.  This sickness spreads everywhere, from Main Street to Capitol Hill. And of course, to sports, because few places have more live microphones and quicker money to make.  And so now we have an undeniably great football player with legitimate concerns, who could not get from Thought A to Thought B without demeaning this person or ridiculing that one. The message from James Harrison this week is not that the NFL has problems to solve. It is that he can insult his commissioner and trash his teammates, and pack weapons for a magazine shot. Apparently that was the only way he could tell his story.   But so it goes in today's world of wasted opportunity. All these tools to share our views, and all we can do is shriek. And then, sometimes, apologize."

Well said Mike.  And thanks.  You're my literary hero. 

Social (Media) Etiquette is Good. 

Getting Clarity Through My Rear View Mirror

Last weekend, me and my familia did a boatload of driving. (Boy, did we ever.)  And as I'm sure you can appreciate - fellow summertime road warriors - it wasn't always fun.  Because most of the time, the weather was storming; traffic was infuriating; directions were lacking; bladders were over-activating, and the car was like claustrophobing (work with me on the wording and the rhyming). 

Sure, you been there/done that too, right!? 

So admittedly, while driving, I didn't always have that cool and breezy summer time easy vibe going on.  Quite the contrary.  But a funny thing happened at the height of my self-induced pity, pain and frustration.  You see, I did a double-take when looking back in my rear view mirror.  In the bowels of my selfish, oh-whoa-is-me temperament - I noticed something that I previously took for granted: the smiling faces of my two terrific kids bopping their heads to the music on the radio (and yeah, pushing each others buttons at the same time; all good nonetheless).

The fact that they were safe and happy, along with my wonderful wife sitting next to me in the front seat, made me realize that what matters most, and the purpose for being in that car in the first place, was about us. Not me.  And in that moment, it was like BAMM - I had an instantaneous change of heart.  I really did.

Thanks to that moment-of-truth ... with the good Lord tapping me on the shoulder and helping to eradicate  my super stinky attitude ... I went from acting like an unappreciative, scowling, selfish nutty goober ... to appreciating what I always should appreciate, even in trying times: my family, and time spent with my family.  (Albeit I probably won't lose the nutty goober side; that's kinda in my DNA.)

While it goes without saying, it still needs to be said:  let's cherish our family - whenever, wherever, however we can.  Hopefully for the most of us, that's more of a reminder, than a rebuke.   

Family Is (better than) Good; Its Greeeeeaaat!

No More Gimmicks

Is it just me, or is the world full of annoying sales gimmicks? 

These days, we seem to be sold more hype, hoopla and hyperbole, than substance.  Sure, selling the sizzle over the steak is not new.  But the smoke factor seems thicker than peanut butter soup.          

Indeed, the sales musac is so deafening, it's making me light-headed and giddy; can't hear myself think. Ahhh, but maybe that's their goal, those devious marketing monsters. Well played; NOT. 

So be gone, you bothersome no-good sales gimmicks.  You're wanted no more.  (Except for the eTrade baby; he's a keeper.) 

While we're at it, let's lose the asteriskeseses.  Those annoying little splats seem to be as ubiquitous as mosquitoes in Michigan (it's their state bird, you know).  If you gotta put an asterisk next to something, than maybe that something needs to be a better something else.

And let's give the big heave-ho to all the fine print.  Time to dump that stuff, as well.  Read my lips, all you Madison Avenues of the world: if what you have to explain/cover/defend can't be said in the same font, then don't say it.  Or again, figure out a better product and/or service that doesn't need it.

While I do get a kick out of those crazy NY street vendors slight-of-hand card tricks (that I of course, never gamble at) - I'm not a big fan of slight-of-hand sales gimmicks, asterisks and fine print. 

And I don't think it's just a me thing, either.  Nope. 

So what are we going to do? Accept it?  Deny it?  Refuse it?

Sure, when it's all said and done, it's probably a combination of all three.  After all - the gimmicks, asterisk and fine print (GAFP) are so rampant, it's hard to not buy what we need without getting GAFPd in one form or fashion.  Whatever. 

If given a choice, let's go with the one (s)  that sells us like it is, without all the clanking and the clutter.  If they respect us by telling us straight, then we respect them by buying their stuff.

A fair deal, all around. 

Mutual Respect is Good.

Do The Work

Well gang - it was one of those work weeks.  The kind that reminds me of a famous exchange between Sam and Norm on the ol' sitcom, Cheers. 

You remember the set-up, right: Norm walks in (everyone shouts "NORM!").  He proceeds to belly up to the bar. Hops on his stool. Hunkers down like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Sam pulls him a frothy cold one and asks in a nonplus manner, "How goes it?" Norm replies in a stoic, matter-of-fact fashion: "It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."  Classic.  Used it a million times myself. 

So that was my kinda work week.  The major issue stemmed from a collective lack of getting the "work" part.  Or more appropriately, getting the work we don't have - BUT - still getting to work.  You see, one of our business initiatives is admittedly a "work in process."  Boy, is it ever!  We are building the proverbial bridge, as we cross it.  Which for some, is scary.  Difficult.  Concerning.  Troublesome.  Uncomfortable.

Given the situation though (i.e. timing, product, market, resources, etc.), moreover the upside opportunity (i.e. new sales, profits, market share, etc.) - we just have to keep working, as we work on it.  We have to go, while we get going.  We have to do, while we get it done.

For sure, this type of work situation is kinda messy and unstructured.  It's not the way we all would like it, if we had our choice.  More often than not, however, this is the way it is: at both work, and life.  Sometimes, we just have to make it up, build it up and clean it up - as we go along.   While we all love proof positive, verifiable been there/done that assurances - backed by trustworthy reports and bullet-proof, time-tested systems.  But that's not gonna happen, most of the time.  Nope.  Quite the contrary.

So how do we overcome the FUD factor?  Well, we don't.  We just do our best to get along with it.  In other words, where there's a will and a why - there's a way.  It may not be "the" way - but "a" way.  And "a" way - assuming the pros outweighes the cons - is better than no way.  Way!        
   
But don't just take my word for it.  There's an awesome new book called Do The Work by Steve Pressfield - which does a fantastic job of explaining how to work, when the work is unclear.  Its a great read and well worth the hour or so it takes to get it read.  Oh yeah, the book is also free on Kindle; compliments of the folks at GE.  So get get it my friend.  Better yet, get to work on the work that needs work.

Doing The Work Is Good.

Goodness Gracious

As you may know, I occaaaaaasionally use this blog to bust objectionable behavior.  It happens.  While I wish I could take the high road and shrug off most of the bothersome stuff, sometimes it boils to the surface and just has to be dealt with. 

This is one of them times.  

Here's the peeve, sans the pet.  If someone is kind enough to do something good for someone else ... than that someone else should do something good for them.  Period.  End of story. 

Sadly however, all too often those that are graced, merely use that grace; never to return the favor, or even a semblance of a return favor.  As hard as that indifference and lack of appreciation is to fathom or comprehend, it's even harder to justify.  Sure, we should help others without expecting anything in return.  Especially if the favor can never be matched.  Doing good without expecting repayment is at the heart of most religions, let alone parenting and servant leadership.

That said, there are certain good deeds that absolutely warrant a quid quo pro - assuming that the person on the receiving end of the good deed isn't a completely selfish moron, ingrate, scallywag, bum or loser. (Hmm, maybe that's the problem right there?)      

Now, there's no need to list specific examples of when we should be gracious to others for their good deeds.  I think we know it, when we know it.  Or at least we should, assuming we're not a completely selfish moron, ingrate, scallywag, bum or loser. (Is there an echo in here?).  If someone goes to bat for us, we go to bat for them.  If someone lends us a helping hand, we lend one back.  If someone does something that positively impacts our world, we do something to positively impact them back.  That's the deal. 

Sure, not all good deeds can be equally repaid.  Nor should they.  But they absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it-ly can be given appreciation in one form or fashion.  If the reciprocal deed can be somewhat equal to the other, great.  If it can't, but it's still meaningful nonetheless (i.e. a card, or a call, or a hug) - that's great too.  Do what we can.  When we can. With what we have.  

Being Gracious Is Good. 

Who Deserves A Tribute?

As you probably know (well, unless you live under a rock or are a St. Louis Cardinals fan; Ogres both the same) - Starbucks just celebrated their 40 year anniversary.  Good for them.  Now, knowing that Starbucks has lots of fans, as well as some detractors, I'm not going to try and establish any type of position one way or another. After all, I'm a lover not a fighter, with the exception to Cards fans; 'cause that's just the way us Cubbies role.  (Can you tell it's the start of baseball season ;)

What I will do for Starbucks, in addition to giving them lots of my hard earned coin - is give them some kudos and props on their Tribute campaign.  Dig it.  (Also dig their new Tribute blend: both invigorating and yummy.)  And what makes the campaign special, is its choice of word: Tribute. 

It's a fantastic word.  Clear.  Definitive.  Purposeful.  Sure, saying thanks is fine.  But the word Tribute - more so giving it - is much more better.  It's different and unique, but with a been there/done that comfort; kinda like a great pair of slippers.  But hey, why should Starbucks have all the glory and upside with the word Tribute.  We can all use it.  Pilfer away! 

Seriously, think about who you should "Tribute" and then give them a Tribute.  And this isn't just a business/customer/employer kinda thing.  Nope.  This is a give Tribute to anyone who has, is, or can make a difference in your life kinda thing.  Here's an idea: let's take an hour out of this week to list all of those who we should pay "Tribute" to - and then do it.  Pay them Tribute.  And not by email, text, Twitter, Facebook or smoke signals.  But in person, or the very least, by phone.  You might even want to throw in a high five, or a hug, or a card, or a meal, or a big wet kiss.  Your call.

Go on.  Give it a go. See what happens. 

My bet is, you'll rock their day.  

Tributes Are Good.        

Silly Wishes

The other day, I was sitting in a pretty contentious meeting - when all of a sudden, the quietest guy in the room retorted to another person's far fetched, ludicrous, ain't-ever-gonna-happen idea, "Yeah ... well ... and I wish chocolate chip cookies could cure baldness." 

Good one, hun?  He shoots; he scores!

While I thought I'd heard almost every witty rebuttal for dimwitted thinking, that one's skipped me for what, 23 years in business?  Better late then never, they say.  Much more better than just learning new repartee to add to my repertoire, it brought light on the whole notion of wishful thinking.

More specifically, the silliness in it all.

While I'm all for stretch goals, overachieving objectives and unbridled "was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor" enthusiasm  (a classic line from John Belushi in the movie Animal House) - pure wishful thinking, aka day dreaming - without any degree of practicality and an empirical reality of becoming true - is silly.  And unless you live your life in a movie, a book or a song - it's pretty much a waste of time and energy.  Moreover, wishful thinking is fraught with danger and heartbreak; let alone financial ruin if entrusted too much, or taken too far.  Beware! 

Heck, I wouldn't even waste a quarter in the wishing well on something that didn't have at least some outside chance of coming true.  That said, I'm thinking about throwing in a ten spot to wish the Butler Bulldogs win the NCAA tourney.  But hey, that one's got a realistic shot at happening though, right?  Go Dawgz! 

The moral of the story: stay away from unrealistic silly wishes.  They'll get you nowhere, fast.  Think positive pragmatism, instead.  And while they may someday invent chocolate chip cookies that cure baldness, or other such crazy wishes in business or life might actually someday come true - it's best to keep it real.  

Keeping It Real Is Good.