I just finished gulping down the Steve Jobs bio by Walter Isaacson. Incredibly extraordinary - both the book (props to Isaacson) and the life/man of Jobs. Seriously, I feel like I just got off a roller coaster ride: head's spinning; knees weak; tummy churning. Where's the Pepto!?
It's no exaggeration: I've got a boatload of mixed emotions about Jobs; running the spectrum of awe, anger, pride, sadness, disappointment, appreciation and frustration - to coin, but a few.
In the end - in ode to Job's own decree that simplicity is the purest form of sophistication - all I can say is: wow (followed by a long steady stream of silence, if you know what I mean).
But after the silence fads, in the aftermath - now all I can say is: why?
Why Steve, Why!?
(We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an important announcement: In the spirit of Isaascon writing a long and exhaustive book, I'll probably end up writing my longest, most exhaustive blog ever. I've got a lot I want to say now and frankly, this is better/cheaper/faster than scream therapy. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.)
Why Steve ... with all or your brilliance, smarts, passion, drive, money, power, prestige and singularly unique God-given gifts ... did you have to be such a contradictory jerk. Why? Especially for a man who worked so hard to be "enlightened" and mindful of the "humanitarian way."
Admittedly, I got a real pet peeve with contradictory jerks. They give me a rash. Big time. A) I don't like people who blatantly and knowingly say one thing then blatantly and knowingly do another, and B) I hate jerks. Especially gifted contradictory jerks, who should know/can/do better.
The "distortion reality" (which Jobs epitomized) that contradictory jerks live in - reminds me of why I think the proverbial Golden Rule is flawed (sorry Father Kevin; we can talk about this at confession later). To be clear though - the original biblical intention is great (does that help my case Father K?) - it's the technical phraseology that's problematic.
You know the Golden Rule, right: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Here's the problem though: If something matters to you - but not to somebody else - it certainly matters, right? Intuitively then, if it matters to somebody else - but not to you - it still matters though, because it matters to that person. You dig!?
So, if that's the real reality (not a distorted one) then it's not, “treat people the way you want to be treated.” After all, “you” could be a real jerk, and think it’s okay to treat and be treated, like a jerk. What the Golden Rule actually should say is, “Treat people the way they want to be treated.” And it’s not just a difference in wordsmithing. Nope.
There’s a fundamental differentiation in the philosophy between the two interpretations. Simply stated, one’s self-oriented and one’s others-oriented. That's why I'm lobbying to call the second, updated version, the More Golden Rule. (And no, not looking to take any credit or get a patent; it's open source, free for all.)
Yeah, I get that living up to the More Golden Rule is especially tough when we work in the all-too-often combative, fast-paced, short-fused, just-get-the-job-done, polarizing corporate world - where trust can be hard, support convenient, and styles gruff and unfriendly. That said, and for all the wrong reasons, there’s sometimes a misguided attitude in some businesses that nice folks finish last. Wrong. Nice businesspeople and nice companies - can and must, succeed.
The good news is that most companies want both nice and productive employees. They really do. But here’s the deal: Because we’re nice and gravitate toward having likable, people-friendly, team-oriented, and collaborative environments - that just means that we have to consistently work hard, perform and execute. Moreover, we can’t act like fools, tolerate fools, or accept a fool’s errand. Don’t be a pushover, and you won’t get pushed over. Our niceness can’t be taken advantage of. We do what we say, and we say what we’ll do. Most of all, we meet or exceed expectations. And consistently deliver tangible, proof-positive results - with quality and good cheer.
On a corollary note, let's all keep in mind that we should be nice people. And nice people prefer to work, befriend, defend, and hang out with other nice people. Moreover, nice people don’t emulate jerks. Even if they’re powerful jerks. They’re still jerks who’ll often say that nice people don’t have what it takes, the “killer instinct,” to get the job done. In reality, they don’t have what it takes, because they’re typically one-dimensional and afraid and live in their "distorted reality." More often than not, they’re intimidated by nice people who get things done, the nice way. It's true.
Jerks, and their fraternal order of brethren and cronies, including: bullies, snobs, sycophants, schmucks, tyrants, tormentors, malcontents and all other jerk-centric scallywags, just plain stink. Sure, they can do their job, and more often than not, get results. But at what cost? Would you choose to work for them if given a choice? I wonder if they would work for themselves. I also wonder if they even like themselves. I think not.
With regard to rationalized bad behavior, I guess it’s true what Upton Sinclair wrote: It is difficult to get someone to understand something, when their job depends on not understanding it.
That happens way too often.
No doubt, when you work in a company that treats you bad, it’s a bummer and a problem. And when there are no guards to watch over the guards, or worse yet - when the warden is the chief villain - you have to grin and bear it; serve your time; hang in there; do your job and do it well. Because you need the work, and it pays the bills that need paying. Just remember that jerks and all of their rotten posse can occasionally disarm you with insincere friendship and artificial support. So don’t get duped by a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
When I think about that oldie but goodie cliche, I’m reminded about the story of the scorpion and the bullfrog. It goes like this:
There’s this nice bullfrog, working diligently on the shore. Along comes a scorpion and asks the fine frog if he could give him a ride across the pond to the other side. The frog, being no dummy, said, “But you are a scorpion. If I get too close to you, let alone give you a ride, you will surely sting me, and I will be dead.” The scorpion smiled and pretentiously responded, “Indeed, my good fellow — that may be what some other scorpions would do, but not me. In fact, I’ll be your buddy and your ally. Just think how great it would be to have a scorpion to protect you and keep you safe. You can trust me. I’ll do you no harm.” Interesting, thought the bullfrog. That was a pretty compelling proposition to have a scorpion in his little corner of the pond. So after a few minutes of deliberation, the frog agreed and told the scorpion to jump on his back and they went swimming across the pond. After getting them both safely to shore, the scorpion jumped off and immediately stung the frog. As the incredulous and gullible frog lay dying, he asked softly, “Why?” The scorpion replied without hesitation, “Because I’m a scorpion. It’s my nature.”
Once a scorpion ...
Ahh - feels good to get that off my chest. Thanks for allowing me.
The More Golden Rule is Good.
(PS: All things being what they are, I do have a heartfelt wish for the man who inspired this riff. While it is often over said when it comes to those who have passed away, I think the Rest In Peace sentiment is absolutely a fit for Steve Jobs. So rest in peace Steve. Rest in peace.)
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