The Joy, Fear and Agony of Parenting

Being a parent is an incredible experience, full of joyous moments. At times however, there are moments of fear and agony. It's a package deal.

Recently - I experienced both, almost simultaneously. You see my son was having a weekend of unfathomable success on the hockey rink (proud dad says boastfully ;). Over the course of four games, he had 13 goals, including one game with 7 - in just two periods - as he was forced to not shoot in the third period! For the record, I'm told that Gretzky's best game was 6 goals, in three periods. But whose counting.

Now during his final game, I took my daughter to get her a blue slushy. You see, that's the best part of her having to freeze, while incredibly bored watching her big brother (who she adores, but doesn't know it yet) push a stupid puck, with other stupid boys, around a stupid ice rink. She plays soccer; that's her thing - and she's really good at it.

To make a long story short, while I was at the concession stand, giggling with my daughter - my son scored when I wasn't looking, and crashed into the boards afterwords, again, when I wasn't looking. By the time I turned around to see what was going on - I saw my son crumpled up on the far end of the ice, grimacing, whipping off his helmet, and neck guard, and then trying to stand up - only to crash back morbidly to the ice. Oh my God! - I said to myself. Then I proceeded instantaneously to think horrible thoughts. After all, I never saw what happened, so my mind went where a parents' mind goes: to the worst possible scenario. In my mind, I envisioned that my son had crashed head-first into the boards and had broken his neck, and might be paralyzed. Its true: my mind raced to the worst conclusion possible, and I freaked out. I lost it. Boy did I ever.

Within seconds, I ran out of the noisy concession area, and through the doors to the rink. Then it got even worse. Because the silence was deafening! - which made me think the fans where also petrified at what might have happened to my son. Everyone was totally quite; totally still. Even the other players were all on the ice, taking a knee: silently and solemnly. I ran faster - my heart pounding and aching; my stomach in knots, and my eyes starting to well-up with tears. I was scared more than I have ever been scared as a parent in my life so far (and I've had scary moments before). The agony was excruciating.

Thankfully, one of the dads from our team caught me on my rampage, and told me that he just got the wind knocked out of him, which meant that he did not hit the boards head-first, but probably crashed into them backwards (that happens in hockey). With a temporary shot of relief, and a dose of new found calm - I finally got close enough to my son to see that indeed he was hurt, but his limbs were working, and it really was a bad case of getting the wind knocked out of him, in a big-time way.

When my son finally got to his feet; the players smacking their sticks on the ice in appreciation, and the crowd cheering at his recovery (and his goal - I hope ;) - my agony went back to joy. All was okay: although my son was very scared, as that type of hit, and getting the wind knocked out of him like that, had never happened to him before. I guess it turned out that our joy, agony, and our fear, was shared by both of us, at the same time.

Now given the choice, I'll undoubtedly take (and pray for) the joy, over the agony and fear. But you know what? The occasional bad stuff, which will inevitably happen - makes me appreciate the good stuff, all that much more. As the saying goes: no rain - no rainbow.

Rainbows are Good.

Let The Synergies Begin

Hip Hip Hooray! Let's here it for our new president, Barack Obama, and his inaugural speech. It was: Brilliant.

For starters, I liked the fact that it wasn't over-engineered. Sure, it had (and needed) an inspirational and impactful style, tone and content.

He shoots; he scores!

For me, and hopefully most of us, it wasn't so much of a "speech," as it was a "mandate." A humanistic, even-tempered, balanced, matter-of-fact, business-like, action-oriented mandate.

And we need it. Do we ever.

To paraphrase our new president, and for that matter, to codify how I think most of us feel already - the basis for our national (let alone global) mandate is:

SYNERGIES.

Its time to "synergize" realism with idealism; vision with action; faith with accountability; young with old; religion with religion; work with play; laughter with focus; data with intuition; business with purpose; specifics with anecdotes; taste with substance; strategy with execution; trust with verification; inspiration with sensibility; individualism with collectivism; country with country; heart with brain; aspirations with reality. (You get it?)

Now, do to space and timing, I'm going to stop there. But as you can see, the list goes on, doesn't it? In fact, if you have the time, why don't you have some fun with this, and make up some of your own tag-team synergies. (On behalf of my kids, they suggested cold milk with warm cookies; I like that one too.)

Ultimately, we do all of this synergy, synergistically - in hopes of living happy, healthy, compassionate, economically-sound, faith-based, prosperous, loving, balanced, family-oriented lives. That's the purpose of our collective mandate.

Synergies Are Good.

Drink-Up The C&Cs!

Now before you go thinking that C&Cs some fancy, expensive, mind-numbing, liver-punishing, bad-mood-arising, alcoholic drink - it's not. Nope - no booze.

On the contrary, C&C is a wonderfully healthy, all natural, non-alcoholic, body-transforming, mind-empowering, "green" life elixir - one that can help all of us live happier, friendlier, healthier, compassionate, prosperous lives.

C&C doesn't require a glass ... let alone ice, garnish, or umbrella. And it's absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-itly more refreshing, and tastier, then the one in the picture.

Really, it's gooooooooooooooooood!

Best of all - C&C is totally FREE. Costs nothing; nada; zero; zilch. Everyone can drink it, serve it, and enjoy it: anywhere, anyplace, anytime. Given the economy and desperation of today, you have to like the value prop of free and beneficial.

So, what's a C&C you ask, and what are the ingredients? Well, C&C stands for Composure and Compromise. Best served and sipped, neither shaken or stirred. Now admittedly, I'm having some fun with that thirsty metaphor. And no, I haven't been drinking. While the parallel of the "drink" metaphor is a stretch (you think?), the image/purpose of the metaphor, more importantly the C&C part - is absolutely, unequivocally spot on.

Think about it: if we all drank a C&C every morning, before we went into the world - we, and the world, would be in a better place. So much of our problems come from the fact that we lose our composure, and our ability to compromise. I'm not talking about compromising the integrity of things like love, family, trust, truthfulness, etc. etc. etc. Can't compromise that stuff! I'm talking about the type of composure and compromise that helps us be empathetic, compassionate, brotherly, agreeable, friendly, and those other positive, humanistic traits that can help us live happier, healthier, others-oriented lives.

If by chance we forget to drink our daily dose of C&C in the morning, and something happens during the day to make us feel un-composed, or we're unwilling to compromise on stuff that should have a compromise - then just smack your palm to you forehead, and shout out: "I gotta have a C&C!" (Yea, just like they do in the V8 commercials). Given the choice though - lets stick to drinking our C&C first thing in the morning (less embarrassing that way), right after we brush our teeth. After all, fresh breath, and some C&C ... along with a good breakfast, a good prayer, and good family TLC ... helps make the day, a good day. You in?

Composure and Compromise Are Good.

Thanks Tony

Yesterday, Tony Dungy, one of the most admired and successful coaches in all of sports, retired. And while we'll miss the man on the sidelines, we'll miss his "persona" most of all. You see, Tony is a genuine servant leader. He's thoughtful, compassionate, spiritual, humble, intelligent, humanistic, philanthropic, hard-working, family-oriented, inspiring, composed. And more.

Yea, I like the guy: I like his style, temperament, and character.

That said, I guarantee, that he'll be the first to tell you that all those characteristics and attributes aren't easy to develop, achieve, or maintain. They're not. But that doesn't mean that we don't strive for all of those qualities, and more. Professional and personal goodness is a constant, lifelong journey. It's evolutionary, not revolutionary. No quick fixes; no magic pills.

As far as being good, others-oriented people goes ... we are a never-ending, never-complete, never-satisfied ... always-moving, always-learning, always-going, work-in-progress. Granted, that type of mindset, commitment and activity is busy, and somewhat daunting. But it beats the heck out of not doing it.

Don't you think?

And so, while admittedly, I'd liked to have seen a few more Super Bowl wins during his era with The Colts (and I'm sure Tony would have as well ;) ... I, like so many others, know that his accomplishments and inspirations off the field, count a lot more than trophies, or some gaudy rings worn by a select few. After all, I don't believe Tony's a selfish bling guy; I think he's more about what's on the inside that matters, and how his actions positively impact others.

So farewell, for now, Mr. Dungy. Thanks for being you. We wish you all the very best with your next endeavors, knowing that you will continue to lead, guide, and inspire.

Leading, Guiding and Inspiring Are Good.

Zen-Zones (Even in a Bookstore)

One Saturday every month, I go to a bookstore to hang out, browse, drink green tea, and yeah, you guessed it, buy books. (I'm a wild and crazy guy!) Mostly, I do this because I'm a big fan of lifelong learning, self development, and reading good books. Be those books on business, life, leadership, management, spirituality, health, history, current affairs, politics, sociology, and before you go thinking I'm one boring dude, lots of stuff that's just fun and entertaining to read.

Thanks to my most recent bookstore voyage, I'm now enjoying a scrumptious, bountiful feast of four books, from four genres. You see, I like to keep my reading diverse, and plentiful. Now, in addition to reading good books for the many upsides that good books provide - the time spent in the bookstore itself, is an invigorating, meditative, therapeutic experience. You see ... well ... I sorta .... how-do-I-put-this ... well ... I ... Zen-out; go into my own little, feel-good, Zen-Zone world (sans Hogwarts and Dementors) - only to reenter the bright lights and noise of the Muggles store when I pay my tab, and realize the expense of my momentary Zen. And boy, sometimes the expense is a real doozy. Talk about a bitter/sweet, yin/yang thing! But hey, nobody ever said that learning, personal development, and the pursuit of "Zen-Zones" is cheap - let alone quick, or easy. It's not. But I look at the expense of time and money - as an investment, not a cost.

Zen-Zones Are Good

Cherish The Moments

So the other night, I'm putting my son to bed. You know, the typical routine: He complains about going to bed too early ("but daaaaaaaad"); clothes get tossed; pajamas on; teeths brushed/then brushed some more; pile into bed; he reads; I read; lights out; say our prayers; talk some, and then if all goes well, he konks-out like a drunken hobo ... snores and all.

On this night though, he asks me an off-the-wall, what-the-heck, where-the-did-that-come-from question right before the konks-out part. Now, being a question of bad timing and unrealistic expectation (something like he should get something that his friends' got) - I replied, to the effect, "You know, you take me for a push-over, don't you?" To which he replied, in two parts: Part 1) "Yea, I do kinda." Part 2) "Oopps, that was a thought bubble that went pop." And you know, as soon as he said that, we both started cracking up. And I'm not talking about some little giggle, but a full-out, side-splitting, leg-kicking, tears-of-laughter roar! Maybe you had to be there; but for us, at the time, it was a reeeeeaal doozy.

It felt great.

After the laughter subsided, and he asleep (with his head on my chest, as always) - I lied there longer than usually, smiling in the dark, cherishing the moment.

Cherished Moments Are Good.

In 2009: Good is Good

At this time of year (or before), many of us contemplate, sign-up for, and commit to various New Years resolutions. It's our thing. That said, and in recognition of the unbelievably abysmal, depressing, tedious, egregious, vexing, frustrating, grinding, knackered, messed-up, no-good, odious, perplexing, ravaging, worrisome, just-get-me-the-heck-out-of-the-year-2008 that it was ... it's easy to see why we all want to focus on positive resolutions (as if anyone would sign up for negative ones; but you never know).

Be that as it may, before we go setting overachieving, unbelievably optimistic expectations that include words like terrific, fantastic, incredible, extraordinary, stupendous, phenomenal, super-duper, and all those other type of high-flooting adjectives and expressions (though I do like "that's the cats pajamas" one) - lets keep it real; keep it manageable, and most of all, achievable. That said, a word that that fits nicely given past issues, present dynamics, and future uncertainties, is the word (drum roll please): good. In fact, good is great.

So here's to good health, good friends, good family, good work, good jobs, good politics, good spirituality, good faith, good love, good hugs, good peace, for good living.

Good is Good.