So Says You

Isn't it amazing how many times we hear business executives (you know, the folks who get paid to work for a company and do what's in the best interest for that company, regardless of their individual bias or shortcomings) - use the word I, me and my when it comes to making decisions on behalf of their employer.  Especially business decisions that could actually help and/or hurt their employer to grow and prosper - so that stakeholders can also grow and prosper.

Why just the other day, I heard an exec from a large Fortune 1000 corporation - after being politely asked to think about a solution that could possibly help their company run better and grow more - literally say: "I don't want to do that, let alone hear about it.  I have no interest in doing anything other than what I am doing.  It's not going to happen under my watch."  Really.  And who made him the all-knowing, king-of-the-hill, my-way-or-the-highway, master-of-the-universe, smartest-man-in-the-room, no-one-knows-better-than-me stud!?  News flash: ignorance is not bliss; its wrong. On a whole host of levels.  

Sadly, this selfish behavior is a serious problem across the landscape. A problem that not only impacts organizations that for some reason hire, employ and encourage this miscreant behavior - but extends into our society at large and has a negative, adverse effect on our socio-economics.  And no, this is not a new problem.  It's (sadly) been going on for ages.  Indeed, Upton Sinclair once wrote, "It is hard to teach a man something new, when his job depends on not knowing it."  Upton shoots, and scores!

So what gives.  Why does this happen way too often, and why do so many organizations have bosses  who just can't seem to fully embrace their fiduciary, servant leadership responsibility to do what's in the best interest of the entity they serve (and get paid by)?  Why indeed.

Well, while the list is long, one big reason sadly, is the Russian Nesting Doll Syndrome (RNDS).  And that's when small bosses (that's not small as in physical stature, but small from a mental and emotion intelligence stature) - hire or promote other, smaller bosses so that they won't be shown up and/or intimidated by management who can actually get it done, the right way.  Overtime, the company ends up being full of management dwarfs (again, think mental/emotional competence, not physical).

You get the picture, right.

So what to do?  Well, if I had the answer, I'd write a book about it and make a gazillion, for sure.  But I'm not that smart.  Far from it.  That reality said, I do have one idea; an idea that might seem a little edgy and just may end of making things worse, not better - especially for those who deploy this strategy.

Here's the play: when someone makes an important no or yes decision that can (and/or won't) positively impact the company - and they make this decision based only on their own individual bias/ignorance/desires and do so using the words me, my or I - then look them in the eye and simply say, "so says you."  Then watch what happens.  Chances are, they will take your challenge and continue to talk (albeit with furrowed brow), or they will dig their heels in even more and quite possibly, throw you to the wolves - or worse.  Either way, if they have the dreaded RNDS - nothing ventured, nothing gained.  

RNDS is Bad.  Challenging it is Good.

Goodness Gracious

As you may know, I occasionally use this blog to bust objectionable behavior.  It's kinda my civic duty.  While I wish I could shrug off most of the bothersome stuff, sometimes it boils to the surface and just has to be dealt with.  This is one of them times.  Fer shizzle.  

Here's the peeve, sans the pet.  If someone is kind enough to do something good for someone else ... than that someone else should do something good for them.  You know: quid pro quo.  Yo.

Sadly however, all too often those that are graced, merely use that grace; never to return the favor, or even a semblance of a return good gesture.  As hard as that indifference and lack of appreciation is to fathom or comprehend, it's even harder to justify.

Now, there's no doubt that we should help others without expecting anything in return.  Especially if the favor can never be matched.  Doing good without expecting repayment is at the heart of most religions, let alone parenting and servant leadership.

That said, there are certain good deeds that absolutely warrant a return volley - assuming that the person on the receiving end of the good deed isn't a completely selfish moron, ingrate, scallywag, bum or loser. (Hmm, maybe that's the problem right there?)      

Now, there's no need to list specific examples of when we should be gracious to others for their good deeds.  I think we know it, when we know it.  Or at least we should, assuming we're not a completely selfish moron, ingrate, scallywag, bum or loser. (Is there an echo in here?).  If someone goes to bat for us, we go to bat for them.  If someone lends us a helping hand, we lend one back.  If someone does something that positively impacts our world, we do something to positively impact them back.  That's the deal. 

Sure, not all good deeds can be equally repaid.  Nor should they.  But they absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it-ly can be given appreciation in one form or fashion.  If the reciprocal deed can be somewhat equal to the other, great.  If it can't, but it's still meaningful nonetheless (i.e. a card, or a call, or a hug) - that's great too.  Do what we can.  When we can. With what we have.  

Being Gracious Is Good. 

The Parallel of Tuna Salad and Life

The other day, I had an awesome daddy/daughter moment while making the two of us lunch.  The story begins - as most stories related to fixing my kids meals - with my daughter's oh-woe-is-me protestations that we had nothing good to eat in the house.  (Like I never heard that one before.)  To which I most assuredly replied that indeed we had plenty of great fixings, and I'd prove it by making us a glorious feast of tuna salad sandwiches, pickles, chips and a frosty ice cold mug of chocolate milk (I know, like awesome, right!).  Even better, we will make our meal together, with her helping to fix the tuna salad, just the way she likes it.

Now, fast forward to her scooping the tuna out of the can; plunking it into a bowl, and stopping to ask how much mayo she should mix with the tuna.  Great question, says I.  But instead of giving her my answer, I suggested the answer depends on her, and whether she likes her tuna more moist, or more dry.  After a moment or two of reflection, she says with a matter-of-fact confidence: "Well, I better error on the side of less, 'cause I can't take out the mayo once I've mixed it in."  True that, said I.  True that.

After hearing her remark on the merits of measured progress, I commented on her thoughtful observation, as I am prone to do (the downside of having a dad who likes to think he's as deep as Plato).  In fact, I couldn't help but discuss with her the wisdom in her words, and how they applied to life, in general.  Indeed, if you think about it, there is a great parallel with regard to fixing a good tuna salad and dealing with the realities and surrealities of life.

As with both, it's best to go slow and steady and measured when it comes to dumping/adding/mixing stuff into other stuff that can't be un-dumped/un-added/un-mixed.  When in doubt with combining ingredients - be that with food, business, work or life - be cool; go easy; take your time; don't rush it.  Especially if you can't undo the combination, and aren't so certain as to how the combination is going to taste, post fusion.  As the oldie but goodie expression goes: better safe, than sorry.

Oh, and just in case your tuna salad (either real or metaphorical) doesn't go as planned, be sure to have some ice cream on hand.  After all, everything goes better with ice cream.  Everything.  

Measured Progress (and ice cream) is Good.

Songs Make The Album

As we all know - there are many awesome benefits with today's technology (the list is long, right).  On the other hand, there are also unfortunate downsides with today's technology (the list is pretty long there, as well).

In other words ... today's mixed bag of pros/cons, yin/yang, salty/sweet smorgasbord of technological breakthroughs ... has us drinking from a glass simultaneously half full and half empty.  Deep, hun!?

One of the most evident examples of this technological split personality syndrome is digital music.  Moreover, the ability to download any song. Any time. Anywhere.  As fantastically terrific as this is - especially when we want that one super duper song that's gonna get us movin', groovin', or chillin' - it also has its downside in that most songs, are part of an album; an album with other songs.  In other words, they're a team. A unit. A family.    

Think about it: if we only listen to that one particular, stand-alone song (and think that songs the artists' overall "sound"), well then, we miss out on the accompaniment of its fellow songs.  Even if those other songs aren't as good as that one song that we want more than the others, they are still part of a package; a package that might have been incredibly important to the musicians who made that songs(s) and moreover, that album.  It's art, after all.

While not a musician myself, I do know that most (good) musicians want us to listen to the whole album.  Repeat: the whole album.  Because more often than not - each and every song is part of the album's overall "tapestry" of music; an interconnected weaving of different songs with a common purpose.  When we only listen to that one song, and ignore the others, then we are selling the artist and ourselves short.  We both deserve more credit.

The same logic can be said for us, as people.  You see, when we only enjoy and/or diss someone's "individual song" and don't take in their "complete album" - than we are missing out on the art of being human.  And art, after all, is subject to big-time subjective interpretation.  That said, none of us are one hit wonders, and God only knows, our "songs" are not always at their best or in tune.

In music - as in life - we all have good songs, and we have not so good songs: it's a both/and, not an either/or deal.  That's why we need to embrace our whole album, as our true representation.

If we can't accept that wonderful reality about ourselves and each other - than life's soundtrack is going to played off key.  Not cool.

Albums are Good.

A Paying Job Makes It Professional

In our paying jobs, we all experience decisions by our employers that we don't always agree with.  No news flash there, right.

Whether we work for a restaurant, the government, a boutique, or a gargantuan Fortune 100 corporation - everyone sooner or later and more often than not - experiences the downsides of decisions made by bosses and corporate suits.  Sure, sometimes we benefit from the upside of good decisions.  But let's not kid ourselves.  The majority of the "siding" effect is down, not up. Que sera sera.

So we ask ourselves: what gives?  Why does the preponderance fall on the negative, not the positive.  Well, while I can't tell you the specifics, I can tell you the generalization: and that's that the bosses and suites aren't as smart as they think they are, and more often than not - make decisions based on their individual biases/paradigms/feelings, and not in the best interest of the company as a whole. In other words, they're human.   

That said, sometimes decisions - while painful to individuals - are what's best for the company.  Yes, when times are hard, reorganizations, recalibrations and yes, even layoffs and firings may be the only recourse from staving off the worst of the worst.  But outside of the drastic decisions, the others ones ... the ones that happen 90% of the time and are based on so-called "strategic reasonings" ... are made because of the mindset and thinking of individuals, not companies.  After all, companies don't have brains, people do; companies don't strategize, people do; companies don't choose to do this or that, people do.

You get the picture.          

That said, when we are impacted by suspect decisions (yes, we all will be impacted, at multiple times in our careers) - and our income relies on that job - we must accept it, and get back to work.

At the end of the day friends, it's pretty simple: if we are paid to do a job, that makes us a professional: be us a cook, painter, accountant, sales person, engineer, president, or a freak at the Carney.  If our employer pays us, and we have a paid job that gets paid - than we are professionals, and we need to act like ones.

That means we have jobs to do.  More so - we have families, colleagues, customers and a bunch of "stakeholders" to support.  By definition, a job is important because it's a job. Regardless of the actual requirements/pay, it's still a job, and one that if you are in it, must get done.  In doing so, we must accept certain decisions that may not gel with our own.  It happens.  We know it.  That said, if we play our cards right (no, we must play our cards right) - we continue to enjoy the fruits (aka pay) of our labors, assuming we continue to stay employed and get paid.  Make sense?

Here's the deal: when decisions go down that make us bothered, bummed or even down right bitchy - we have to turn those frowns upside down and get back to work.  We do.  Even better - get back to work with a smile and good cheer.  After all, if we are being paid, than we are professionals and need to act like ones.

So, the next time a "downside decision thing" happens to us - instead of griping, moaning and causing a ruckus with those folks whose decisions we think are bad (and after all, they could be right) - how about we knock their socks off by showing them how truly professional we can be, even when we don't want to be.

After all, its the right thing to do, assuming you get paid to do it.  And if you get paid to do it, that makes you a professional. And acting professional, especially when the chips are down - is the professional thing to do.     

Being a Professional is Good.

Being a Professional Slacker is Bad.

Kermit Karma

(The following was inspired by the fact that: 1) I dig Kermit, 2) My daughter loves Kermit, and 3) I watched the newest Muppet's movie about 10 times over spring break - literally).  


Hi, Ho! Kermit the Frog here. My good buddy Scott asked me to guest write his blog - which I am oh-so happy to do. But between you and me, this request proves what I've always thought about Scott: that while he's a swell guy ... he's kind of needy, somewhat lazy, and intellectually clumsy ... just like Fozzy the Bear.  But I do love 'em both (for the most part; he he he he ;)

Now, where was I? Gonzooo!? Gonzooo!?

Oh yea, so Scott asked me to write this blog and explain what he calls "Kermit Karma." Frankly, I have no idea what he means by "Kermit Karma," except that it might have something to do with how I like to be compassionate toward others.  Indeed, to see people smile and laugh and sing and love is like sunshine reflecting off a dewy lily pad on a summer's morn.   And for a frog, that is a very wonderful sight, indeed!

That said, The Rainbow Connection song (my personal favorite, and one that you should know, as well) is a good example of what I believe.  To paraphrase that song, and my personal philosophy:

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND.

In other words, if you do good onto others - good will happen to you. If you do bad onto others, well, shudder the thought. Taken together, I think that's what Scott means by "Kermit Karma."  And yea, I try to swim, hop and ribbit my life by the "do good onto others" precept.

But, lest you think me a big-headed frog, or that I've eating too many fermented bugs and over indulged in spiked pond water, please note that I really am a humble little frog, and know very well I'm not perfect, and that I don't own the corner of the lake on compassionate living.  Nope, I got work to do. Always will.

That said, we are all capable of being compassionate - even those two bullies in the balcony, Statler and Waldorf. (Well, on second thoughts, some folks just don't get it and/or won't want to get it: and that's why they get stuck in the balcony, mean and all alone. And who wants to be mean and alone? Yuck!)

Sure, being compassionate takes work. But if I can do it with Miss Piggy, and hundreds of crazy, uncontrollable Muppets (it's not easy being green) - you can do it in your world, as well.

Compassion is Good (just like chocolate covered flies; yum!).

Leveling Up (in public)

(Editors note: this blog was originally written a year ago. But on the heels of my last blog and moreover, the fact that I did not live up to my original goal (sigh) - I am going to give this P90X thing another go (yeah). As a favor, please don't tell my brothers - as I'm not really into the whole eating a bug thing. We cool?)

It's confession time.  

And this one's a doozy.  

Now, while I'm kinda sorta embarrassed by this confession, it's not soo bad that my wife's kicking me out (at least not yet), or that my kids will hide from me in shame (then again), or that I'll need to visit Father Kevin (heck, he's seen me enough, as it is).  

So you ask: what gives Abbott?  What's this uber confession that's got you so worked up, and yet apparently, so pressed to share!?

Fess up man, and get on with it!

Well, okay.  If you insist.  Here goes.

I gots a man crush on Tony Horton. You know, THE MAN behind the P90X workout program.  Yeah, I think he's cool.  After three full weeks of sweating/grunting/swearing to P90X - he's the current wind beneath my wings (cue Bette Midler).

Yup -  if not for Tony himself and how he does what he does the way he does it - there's no way I'd be doing what I'm doing.  Fact.  For that reason, I declare my public display of affection (PDA). 

(We interrupt this program to state that this is not a paid endorsement by P90X; as if they'd subsidize a flub like me.  Disclaimer #2: don't expect me to look like he does in the picture.  Nope.  It's all about the health benefits - for now ;).

More than just outing my PDA for Tony to thousands of readers (riiight, as if) - the bigger point is to make a public display of commitment (PDC).  Think about it: I've now told everyone that I've signed up to do the excruciatingly exhaustive 90 program.  So how can I back out now!  Can't.  Gotta get it done.

Anything short of finishing, and this will be a very visible, pride swallowing, won't hear the end of it, my brothers will make me eat a big ugly nasty bug covered in dirt, type of humiliation.  Gulp!

You know what though: bring it on!  Make it so!  The fact is, I did it, knowing it, and now you all know it, as well.  I ain't no dummy - for the most part; while I might have been born at night, I wasn't born last night (props to Kid Rock).  I knows what I did, and I'll hold me to.  I expect you to now hold me to it, as well.

So - how about you?

What PDC do you want to do to help hold you to doing something new, or stop doing something you don't want to do?  Moreover, get the doing done.  For sure, you don't have put it out there on social media, let alone subject yourself to cracks about a man crush (please don't).  You can just keep it with your peeps. 

Your call.

Either way, give it a go and put it out there.  It just might help.

PDC is Good (if you can handle it).