Keeping It Real In 2013

At this time of year, (way too) many of us contemplate, sign-up for and commit to various New Years resolutions.

It's our thing.

That said, and in recognition of the yin-yang-slippity-slop-shish-boom-bang nature of 2012, it's easy to see why we want to focus on positive resolutions. 

(As if anyone would sign up for negative ones, right?)

But before we go setting overachieving, unbelievably optimistic resolutions using words like extraordinary, phenomenal and other uber-super-duper adjectives - let's keep the expectations real, manageable and most of all - achievable.  (Can I get an AMEN!?)

That said, a word that that fits nicely given past issues, present dynamics and future uncertainties - is the word, drum roll please:

Good.

(Yes, good.)

Good works.

It's believable. Realistic. Achievable.

So here's to keeping it real, and keeping ...

Good Health

Good Habits
Good Friends
Good Business
Good Careers
Good Work
Good Faith
Good Love
Good Living
Good Family

(Insert your own here)

Good is Great.

Happy New Year!

Tis' The Mood That Makes The Season!

Hark merry merriers, and bring forth an ear.  

I've got a tale to tell, so you best huddle near.  

But before I embark, make remedy now: dash to the kitchen, and rustle up some chow.  Warm up your cup, and kindle the fire; I'm ready to roll, so appease my desire!

T'was upon a cold, morning clear; my eyes were not a' twinkle, no coffee near.  At the job I was already, no frolicking in sight - my spirits were low, and my attitude not bright.  All work and no play, make Scott a dull boy; it's true what they say, I wasn't a joy.

Oh woe ... oh me ... was dreary as can be!

Why here ... why now ... can't fun be with me!?  

Then out of the blue came a stranger so bright!  Could it be a vision? A ghost? Or some trick of the light?  "Hold still," cried I, "Stay just where you are! You scare me yo, so you best keep afar!"  

"Chill dude," the aberration said with a laugh, "I'm here to bring cheer and help you relax."  "Relax!?" I replied, "There can be no such thing. I have work and commitments that make my head ring!  I have deadlines, reports and emails a' plenty ... not to mention that Christmas day is all but upon me!"   

"Now now my good man," said the vision with ease, "Listen to my words for a dose of some peace.  For what I say you may not get, but when I leave you shan't ever forget.  Stand-up straight, don't slouch down - for you're to hear the soundest advise around."

At that the mirage smiled and gave forth a wink, and continued to speak of things I could not think.  It said in voice clear and clean, the following words I found so serene.  "A donut with no hole is a danish; a flute with no holes is a stick; yin with no yang is unzenlike; cathedrals aren't built from just bricks!"  

At that my eyes opened and my heart gave away ... my gloomy spirits were lifted, and my funky funk went away.  Oh joy is me, I truly do understand: it's so simple, so pure, yet full of command!   

So my good reader, put down this tall tale, and run with me fast to the bar for some ale.  Now raise a good toast to the heavens above, it's time to make merry and bring forth the love!

Hug your family, friends and neighbors too (but not those Cardinals or Patriots fans, as they are taboo).   It's time to put work aside for a few, to shout and be happy and sing something snappy.

Life is good, we are fine.  All is great, at this time. 

Have a safe and happy holiday season.

Safe and Happy are Good.

Ain't Cool To Be No Jive Turkey

At this time of year, I love to (over) use one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, Trading Places.  If you've seen the movie, you gotta know the line I'm talking about (though there's plenty of great quotes to choose from, am I right!?)

Okay - times up:  It's the one when Eddie Murphy's in jail, talking a bunch of loud-mouthed-smack, and the big dude comes up and says, "It ain't cool to be no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving."  (Yo, I put the link there for a reason, so give it a watch: it's great fun, and I'll be here when you get back.)

With your laughing smile squarely in place, I'm sure you can see why I dig that line, on a couple of levels.  For one, I say it to my kids now about a dozen times a day (yeah, I've got lots of growing up to do.)  But other than using it to frustrate my brew and confirm their belief that dad isn't as hip as he thinks he is (heeeey), I also use it in business to classify a certain type of bad behavior.

Yes, guilty as charged: I'm not above name calling - although to my defense, I think that anyone I've ever called a jive turkey, has probably been called way worse, by way more people.

No. Doubt. About. It.     

So what makes for a "jive turkey" you ask?  As opposed to your run of the mill moron, jerk, doofus or scallywag?  Well, JTs have some common shortcomings, and those are:

1) Big talker, small doer.  Sure, you know the type: they gobble gobble gobble, but when it comes to getting things done, they don't/won't/can't.  Which is why they also tend to delegate, though still take credit when credit is do; or pass blame, when blame is do.  Go figure. 

2) Smart, but arrogant.  These fowl birds have an out of whack ego to IQ ratio (and guess which one is out of proportion to the other).  For the record - arrogance by definition is when someone makes other people feel inferior and/or belittled.  Put another way, if your mouth makes others feel intentionally bad - not cool.

3) Nice, but jealous.  This one's kinda like too much nutmeg in the eggnog.  It looks all nice and tasty, but it's not.  More so, these ones can really hurt, as you think they are on your side, then the next thing you know, they're not.  No one likes a backstabber; heck, even back stabbers don't like backstabbers.  Nope. 

4) The Eddie Haskell.  Named for the weaselly, two-faced fictional character from the classic family sitcom, Leave It to Beaver - Eddie Haskell's use fake and overdone manners/courtesy to hide their true shallow and sneaky side.  In public, Eddie's are on their best behavior (assuming you buy it); but in private, they're scheming connivers - who just can't be trusted.    

No doubt, there's a gravy boat of other not so flattering attributes that make for a jive turkey.  But you get the picture.  Moreover, I hope you never have to deal with - let alone work with - a jive turkey.  If you do, well, remember the line and say it right to their face:  "IT AIN'T COOL TO BE NO JIVE TURKEY!"  

And if that jive turkey has you worried that its best to keep it to yourself (getting fired or having your face punched in, kinda sucks) - then anonymously send that video from Trading Places, along with a note letting them know its from a secret non-admirer. 

Jive Turkeys Are Bad.

(But real turkey's are good and tasty.  So have a safe, happy, family-filled Thanksgiving.)      

Training Our Instincts

Whether you are a dog lover or not (just don't admit it if you're not, 'cause that's as bad as wearing a Patriots jersey to a Colts home game) - you have inevitably heard or seen how dogs seem to sense good people from bad.  It's true.  They can do it.  At least the bigger friendlier ones, from my experience. (Sorry small doggers; the smaller the dog, the less I trust their human instincts as typically, they're too busy yapping and getting all crazy.)

In any event, big or small, dogs seem to have a sixth sense to smell out the people who more likely than not, aren't liked by other people all that much.  Its a canine thing.  That said, imagine if us humans could smell out the good people from the bad people (and especially without having to use the rear end, to do so; butt I digress). 

My oh my - how much time, energy and frustration we would save in business, work and life if it were only that simple.  Bummer, it's not.  Be that as it may, what if we tried to at least use a little bit of that ol' Lassie magic, and trained ourselves to hone our instincts and perceptive abilities so that we could get a leg-up (yes, pun totally intended) on our human encounters.

Now, my guess is that most people think that a dog-like "sixth sense" - let alone a "Benji sense" - comes from DNA; either you have it, or you don't.  Personally, while I think Mother Nature plays a big part - I also think you can gain better instincts over time by "training" your brain/gut through a combination of book smarts, real-world learning and a boatload of focused effort.   

But it takes all three, and maybe even a fourth or fifth - to really feel confident that your schooled instincts can be trusted.  Especially if those instincts are going to make or break an important decision and/or action.  After all, being wrong might turn out to be really really bad ... while being right turns out to be, well, right.  Either way, by inserting some trusted instincts, IN ADDITION TO as many tangible facts and figures as you can muster - makes for better confidence, all around.  You smell me?

Training Our Instincts is Good.

So Says You

Isn't it amazing how many times we hear business executives (you know, the folks who get paid to work for a company and do what's in the best interest for that company, regardless of their individual bias or shortcomings) - use the word I, me and my when it comes to making decisions on behalf of their employer.  Especially business decisions that could actually help and/or hurt their employer to grow and prosper - so that stakeholders can also grow and prosper.

Why just the other day, I heard an exec from a large Fortune 1000 corporation - after being politely asked to think about a solution that could possibly help their company run better and grow more - literally say: "I don't want to do that, let alone hear about it.  I have no interest in doing anything other than what I am doing.  It's not going to happen under my watch."  Really.  And who made him the all-knowing, king-of-the-hill, my-way-or-the-highway, master-of-the-universe, smartest-man-in-the-room, no-one-knows-better-than-me stud!?  News flash: ignorance is not bliss; its wrong. On a whole host of levels.  

Sadly, this selfish behavior is a serious problem across the landscape. A problem that not only impacts organizations that for some reason hire, employ and encourage this miscreant behavior - but extends into our society at large and has a negative, adverse effect on our socio-economics.  And no, this is not a new problem.  It's (sadly) been going on for ages.  Indeed, Upton Sinclair once wrote, "It is hard to teach a man something new, when his job depends on not knowing it."  Upton shoots, and scores!

So what gives.  Why does this happen way too often, and why do so many organizations have bosses  who just can't seem to fully embrace their fiduciary, servant leadership responsibility to do what's in the best interest of the entity they serve (and get paid by)?  Why indeed.

Well, while the list is long, one big reason sadly, is the Russian Nesting Doll Syndrome (RNDS).  And that's when small bosses (that's not small as in physical stature, but small from a mental and emotion intelligence stature) - hire or promote other, smaller bosses so that they won't be shown up and/or intimidated by management who can actually get it done, the right way.  Overtime, the company ends up being full of management dwarfs (again, think mental/emotional competence, not physical).

You get the picture, right.

So what to do?  Well, if I had the answer, I'd write a book about it and make a gazillion, for sure.  But I'm not that smart.  Far from it.  That reality said, I do have one idea; an idea that might seem a little edgy and just may end of making things worse, not better - especially for those who deploy this strategy.

Here's the play: when someone makes an important no or yes decision that can (and/or won't) positively impact the company - and they make this decision based only on their own individual bias/ignorance/desires and do so using the words me, my or I - then look them in the eye and simply say, "so says you."  Then watch what happens.  Chances are, they will take your challenge and continue to talk (albeit with furrowed brow), or they will dig their heels in even more and quite possibly, throw you to the wolves - or worse.  Either way, if they have the dreaded RNDS - nothing ventured, nothing gained.  

RNDS is Bad.  Challenging it is Good.

Goodness Gracious

As you may know, I occasionally use this blog to bust objectionable behavior.  It's kinda my civic duty.  While I wish I could shrug off most of the bothersome stuff, sometimes it boils to the surface and just has to be dealt with.  This is one of them times.  Fer shizzle.  

Here's the peeve, sans the pet.  If someone is kind enough to do something good for someone else ... than that someone else should do something good for them.  You know: quid pro quo.  Yo.

Sadly however, all too often those that are graced, merely use that grace; never to return the favor, or even a semblance of a return good gesture.  As hard as that indifference and lack of appreciation is to fathom or comprehend, it's even harder to justify.

Now, there's no doubt that we should help others without expecting anything in return.  Especially if the favor can never be matched.  Doing good without expecting repayment is at the heart of most religions, let alone parenting and servant leadership.

That said, there are certain good deeds that absolutely warrant a return volley - assuming that the person on the receiving end of the good deed isn't a completely selfish moron, ingrate, scallywag, bum or loser. (Hmm, maybe that's the problem right there?)      

Now, there's no need to list specific examples of when we should be gracious to others for their good deeds.  I think we know it, when we know it.  Or at least we should, assuming we're not a completely selfish moron, ingrate, scallywag, bum or loser. (Is there an echo in here?).  If someone goes to bat for us, we go to bat for them.  If someone lends us a helping hand, we lend one back.  If someone does something that positively impacts our world, we do something to positively impact them back.  That's the deal. 

Sure, not all good deeds can be equally repaid.  Nor should they.  But they absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it-ly can be given appreciation in one form or fashion.  If the reciprocal deed can be somewhat equal to the other, great.  If it can't, but it's still meaningful nonetheless (i.e. a card, or a call, or a hug) - that's great too.  Do what we can.  When we can. With what we have.  

Being Gracious Is Good. 

The Parallel of Tuna Salad and Life

The other day, I had an awesome daddy/daughter moment while making the two of us lunch.  The story begins - as most stories related to fixing my kids meals - with my daughter's oh-woe-is-me protestations that we had nothing good to eat in the house.  (Like I never heard that one before.)  To which I most assuredly replied that indeed we had plenty of great fixings, and I'd prove it by making us a glorious feast of tuna salad sandwiches, pickles, chips and a frosty ice cold mug of chocolate milk (I know, like awesome, right!).  Even better, we will make our meal together, with her helping to fix the tuna salad, just the way she likes it.

Now, fast forward to her scooping the tuna out of the can; plunking it into a bowl, and stopping to ask how much mayo she should mix with the tuna.  Great question, says I.  But instead of giving her my answer, I suggested the answer depends on her, and whether she likes her tuna more moist, or more dry.  After a moment or two of reflection, she says with a matter-of-fact confidence: "Well, I better error on the side of less, 'cause I can't take out the mayo once I've mixed it in."  True that, said I.  True that.

After hearing her remark on the merits of measured progress, I commented on her thoughtful observation, as I am prone to do (the downside of having a dad who likes to think he's as deep as Plato).  In fact, I couldn't help but discuss with her the wisdom in her words, and how they applied to life, in general.  Indeed, if you think about it, there is a great parallel with regard to fixing a good tuna salad and dealing with the realities and surrealities of life.

As with both, it's best to go slow and steady and measured when it comes to dumping/adding/mixing stuff into other stuff that can't be un-dumped/un-added/un-mixed.  When in doubt with combining ingredients - be that with food, business, work or life - be cool; go easy; take your time; don't rush it.  Especially if you can't undo the combination, and aren't so certain as to how the combination is going to taste, post fusion.  As the oldie but goodie expression goes: better safe, than sorry.

Oh, and just in case your tuna salad (either real or metaphorical) doesn't go as planned, be sure to have some ice cream on hand.  After all, everything goes better with ice cream.  Everything.  

Measured Progress (and ice cream) is Good.