Ain't Cool To Be No Jive Turkey

At this time of year, I love to (over) use one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, Trading Places.  If you've seen the movie, you gotta know the line I'm talking about (though there's plenty of great quotes to choose from, am I right!?)

Okay - times up:  It's the one when Eddie Murphy's in jail, talking a bunch of loud-mouthed-smack, and the big dude comes up and says, "It ain't cool to be no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving."  (Yo, I put the link there for a reason, so give it a watch: it's great fun, and I'll be here when you get back.)

With your laughing smile squarely in place, I'm sure you can see why I dig that line, on a couple of levels.  For one, I say it to my kids now about a dozen times a day (yeah, I've got lots of growing up to do.)  But other than using it to frustrate my brew and confirm their belief that dad isn't as hip as he thinks he is (heeeey), I also use it in business to classify a certain type of bad behavior.

Yes, guilty as charged: I'm not above name calling - although to my defense, I think that anyone I've ever called a jive turkey, has probably been called way worse, by way more people.

No. Doubt. About. It.     

So what makes for a "jive turkey" you ask?  As opposed to your run of the mill moron, jerk, doofus or scallywag?  Well, JTs have some common shortcomings, and those are:

1) Big talker, small doer.  Sure, you know the type: they gobble gobble gobble, but when it comes to getting things done, they don't/won't/can't.  Which is why they also tend to delegate, though still take credit when credit is do; or pass blame, when blame is do.  Go figure. 

2) Smart, but arrogant.  These fowl birds have an out of whack ego to IQ ratio (and guess which one is out of proportion to the other).  For the record - arrogance by definition is when someone makes other people feel inferior and/or belittled.  Put another way, if your mouth makes others feel intentionally bad - not cool.

3) Nice, but jealous.  This one's kinda like too much nutmeg in the eggnog.  It looks all nice and tasty, but it's not.  More so, these ones can really hurt, as you think they are on your side, then the next thing you know, they're not.  No one likes a backstabber; heck, even back stabbers don't like backstabbers.  Nope. 

4) The Eddie Haskell.  Named for the weaselly, two-faced fictional character from the classic family sitcom, Leave It to Beaver - Eddie Haskell's use fake and overdone manners/courtesy to hide their true shallow and sneaky side.  In public, Eddie's are on their best behavior (assuming you buy it); but in private, they're scheming connivers - who just can't be trusted.    

No doubt, there's a gravy boat of other not so flattering attributes that make for a jive turkey.  But you get the picture.  Moreover, I hope you never have to deal with - let alone work with - a jive turkey.  If you do, well, remember the line and say it right to their face:  "IT AIN'T COOL TO BE NO JIVE TURKEY!"  

And if that jive turkey has you worried that its best to keep it to yourself (getting fired or having your face punched in, kinda sucks) - then anonymously send that video from Trading Places, along with a note letting them know its from a secret non-admirer. 

Jive Turkeys Are Bad.

(But real turkey's are good and tasty.  So have a safe, happy, family-filled Thanksgiving.)