Keeping It Real In 2012

At this time of year, (way too) many of us contemplate, sign-up for and commit to various New Years resolutions.

It's our thing.  

That said, and in recognition of the yinyangslippityslopshishboombang nature of 2011, it's easy to see why we want to focus on positive resolutions. 

(As if anyone would sign up for negative ones, right?)

But before we go setting overachieving, unbelievably optimistic resolutions using words like extraordinary, phenomenal and other uber-super-duper adjectives - let's keep the expectations real, manageable and most of all - achievable.  

(Can I get an AMEN!?) 

That said, a word that that fits nicely given past issues, present dynamics and future uncertainties - is the word, drum roll please:

Good. 

(Yes, good.)

Good works.  It's believable. Realistic. Achievable.   

So here's to keeping it real, and keeping ...

Good Health
Good Habits
Good Friends
Good Business
Good Careers
Good Faith
Good Love
Good Living
Good Family
(Insert your own here)

Good is Great.

Happy New Year!

Humble Confidence

There's a terrific sentiment that I've been using for years, and years and years (you get the picture; it's been a really long time).  Frankly, like most of my sentiments, I can't claim it's my own invention.  After all, most of my stuff is admittedly refurbished (I've been recycling way before green became so fashionable). 

Now, this sentiment, while somewhat kinda sorta not entirely mine per se - has always been admired by those who haven't heard it before.  In fact, often times they literally exclaim how much they like it, and plan to use it themselves.  To which I wish them well; enjoy it in good health, and pass it on along the way.  Bonne chance, mon frere! (Five years of french, and that's all I got.)   

Alright already, I know what you're thinking:  Abbott, enough with the rambling preamble, get on with it man, and tell us what the oh-so-awesome/can't live with out it/life won't ever be complete until I know what the sentiment is so that we can get it and maybe use it ourselves!  Fine.  Ready?  Set?  Comfortable?  Need anything?  How 'bout those Colts - ugh!  Okay.  Here goes.

Humble Confidence.

Moreover, the importance of humble confidence. 

Let's break it down; the yin and the yang:

On the one hand, confidence without humility is dangerous, right.  That's when you tend to get rude, reckless, arrogant behavior - you know, a bunch of flashy selfish pizazz that more often than not, causes trouble for those who flaunt it, and those who have to deal with it (let alone benefit from their so-called "mad skills"). 

On the other hand, pure humility can also be worrisome, as most jobs require us to elevate higher - especially when we need to instill confidence that we can get the job done (think pilot, doctor, athlete, business leader, student, welder, politician, architect - heck, think anybody).  While we appreciate humility - if taken too far (i.e. being overly timid/intimidated) and just left to its own, we don't know if we trust that the job will get done.       

Finally, by fusing humility with confidence - we set the tone that we're stable and mature enough to know that we can always improve, and mindful and excited enough in our ability to do so.  

And that, my friend, is why humble and confidence go together so well, kinda like milk and cookies (mmmmm, milk and cookies).   Moreover - they must go together.  Always and forever.  One without the other is troublesome.  The same can be said when left apart.   Net/net - we need simultaneous confidence and humility; knowing that it comes down to the proper balance, timing, situation and alignment, between the two. 

And that I say, with humble confidence.    

Humble Confidence Is Good.          

Ain't Cool To Be No Jive Turkey

At this time of year, I love to (over) use one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, Trading Places.  If you've seen the movie, you gotta know the line I'm talking about (though there's plenty of great quotes to choose from, am I right!?) 

Okay - times up:  It's the one when Eddie Murphy's in jail, talking a bunch of loud mouthed smack, and the big dude comes up and says, "It ain't cool to be no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving."  (Hey, I put the link there for a reason, so go ahead and give it a watch: it's great fun, and I'll still be here when you get back.)

With your laughing smile squarely in place, I'm sure you can see why I dig that line, on a couple of levels.  For one, I say it to my kids now about a dozen times a day (yeah, I've got lots of growing up to do.)  But other than using it to frustrate my brew and confirm their belief that dad isn't as hip as he thinks he is (heeeey), I also use it in business to classify a certain type of bad behavior. 

Yes, guilty as charged: I'm not above name calling - though to my defense, I think that anyone I've ever called a jive turkey, has probably been called way worse, by way more people.   

No. Doubt. About. It.     

So what makes for a "jive turkey" you ask?  As opposed to your run of the mill moron, jerk, doofus or scallywag?  Well, JTs have 3 main characteristics, and those are:

1) Big talker, small doer.  Sure, you know the type: they gobble gobble gobble, but when it comes to getting things done, they don't/won't/can't.  Which is why they also tend to delegate, though still take credit when credit is do; or pass blame, when blame is do.  Go figure.   

2) Smart, but arrogant.  These fowl birds have an out of whack ego to IQ ratio (and guess which one is out of proportion to the other).  For the record - arrogance by definition is when someone makes other people feel inferior and/or belittled.  Put another way, if your mouth makes others feel intentionally bad - not cool.

3) Nice, but jealous.  This one's kinda like too much nutmeg in the eggnog.  It looks all nice and tasty, but it's not.  More so, these ones can really hurt, as you think they are on your side, then the next thing you know, they're not.  No one likes a back stabber; heck, even back stabbers don't like back stabbers.  Nope. 

No doubt, there's a gravy boat of other not so flattering attributes that make for a jive turkey.  But you get the picture.  Moreover, I hope you never have to deal with - let alone work with - a jive turkey.  If you do, well, remember the line and say it right to their face:  "IT AIN'T COOL TO BE NO JIVE TURKEY!"  And if that jive turkey has you worried that its best to keep it to yourself (getting fired or having your face punched in, kinda sucks) - then anonymously send that video from Trading Places, along with a little note letting them know its from a secret non-admirer.    

Jive Turkeys Are Bad.

(But real turkey's are good and tasty.  So have a safe, happy, family-filled Thanksgiving.)      

Good is Great

For those that know, one of my favorite words is good. 

Indeed, I embrace it.  Use it.  Promote it.    

But guess what: every now and then I get the, oh, how should I put it, "provocative flak" for my extensive use/promotion of the word good - especially when it comes to performance.  For sure, I do use good a lot (and inversely, when needed, the word bad) when talking about performance.  It's kinda my thing.  And everybody should have their own "thing," right?      

Now, the flakers issue, for the most part - stems from their perspective that when discussing performance, I should use/promote more dynamic words like great, extraordinary, fantastic, brilliant, incredible, awesome.  In other words, from their viewpoint, good isn't good enough.  As they say, opinions are like belly buttons: everyone has 'em.  And that's a good thing (see, did it again). 

That said, my opinion - lets even call it a platform - is pretty simple: while there may be lots of more exciting adjectives that have more snap, crackle and pop ... good is still good, and bad is still bad.  Word. 

When it comes to performance, consistent good trumps the occasional supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (c'mon, ya gotta watch the video ;).  The fact is, good is very attainable - 24/365.  On the other hand, those other sexier adjectives are often a struggle for most, even some of the time - let alone 24/365.  In other words, its better to keep it real, and set expectations that are realistic and realistically achievable. 

You follow? 

Don't get me wrong: love those bigger words, as well.  I do.  And if you are ready and able to go for them - then go for it.  But first things first.  If we can't get good in steady supply, it's gonna be a stretch to achieve something bigger.  As that crazy cat Nietzsche said, "Those who would learn to fly one day must first stand and walk and run and climb and dance: one cannot fly into flying."  True that. 

Heck, just look around.  It's pretty apparent that consistently good performance is in short supply. It’s a big problem for business, family and life.  As such, it’s impacting our society, economy, and the world in general.  So instead of struggling to attain difficult to achieve words - I have confidence that for the most part, and for the most of us - we can get to good.  Consistently.

Good is Great ;) . 

Be Like Mike's

For months, I've been wanting to write some big-time props about a chain of car washes called Mike's.  At the same time, been needing to vent some much needed frustration about bad retail behavior.  Now's the time. 

So why the kudos for Mike's? 

Well, for a host of reasons, including the fact that you're greeted and dismissed by cute stuffies (as my daughter calls them) like Elmo, Cookie Monster and Big Bear, and that they offer free paper towels and free handy little trash bags.  (Though for the suggestion box, thinking free donuts and coffee for us early morning frequent washers would be nice; just saying.) 

Most of all, Mike's rocks because their front-line customer facing people - aka hourly worker bees - are some of the nicest, most professional, respectful workforce that I've ever experienced in the retail, hourly worker bee sector, coast-to-coast.  True that. 

Literally, from head to toe, they have their act together. 

Here's my question: why can Mike's employ great hourly talent, with such incredible consistency from store to store, when so many others can't?  Let's be real, the list is long of retail stores who's hourly workers just plain suck.  While it pains me to be so frank (not really), the fact is we put up with so much bad service, it's both sad and pathetic. 

Seriously, shame on the companies and their management that hires and tolerates rude employees to represent and be on the frontline of their product.  Come to think of it, shame on us who put up with it and pay for it, in more ways than one. 

Talk to the hand, you employers and condoners of bad talent.

So, does the ability/capability for Mike's to do it right ... versus those loser retail stores who miss the mark, let alone the point ... come down to pay?  Benefits?  Management?  Recruiting?  Free sodas and brownies in the break room? 

No doubt, I'm sure it's a combination of things.  Be that as it may - the difference between what Mike's can do/afford - and what others can do/afford, can't be that big of a gap. 

It.  Just.  Can't.  Be.  The math doesn't work.  Nope.

The simple fact is this: if Mike's can do it, so can everyone else in the retail sector.  Sure, budgets and margin %s might be impacted due to higher "costs of goods" (yes, it can cost more to do better) - but that can be made up for through (more) happier customers and (more) increased sales, which generates more margin dollars (remember all you corporate giants of bad retailers: you can't eat percents, only cash).  And yes, your products and/or services might need to be refined; cultures might need to be reset, and a bunch of so-called leadership people might need to be let go. 

Even good change, can be painful. 

But if that's what it takes, that's what it takes. 

If you're one of those retail stores that forces your customers to suffer your "hourly people problems" (yes, I've heard the line, way too many times) - get your act together, and get it fixed.  ASAP. 

And if you're one of those consumers that puts up with "hourly people problems," please don't.  Take your business else where.  On behalf of yourself, us and the retailer who forced you to. 

Good Service Is Good.          

It Matters

Like most of us today, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11 - I'm filled with a boatload of emotions; a funky mix of reflection, anger, grief, anxiousness, hope and appreciation (to name a few). 

While part of me wants desperately to write about the whys and wherefores of these feelings - and pen something poignant and impactful - it's just not in the cards.  Nope.  Not now.  Not today. 

So if it's okay with you, in lieu of coming up with new words and spending energy I don't have (and would rather devote today to family and friends) - I'm going to post some excerpts from the last chapter of Pocket PorchLights.  After all, I have always looked at this chapter as a big group hug; an all encompassing hand-holding tribute to what it takes to thrive at business, work and life. 

Moreover, since this chapter, like the rest of the book - was heavily inspired by tons of wonderful people, both directly and indirectly - it seems to fit today's "let's come together and count our blessings" vibe.  Hopefully, you'll feel the same. 

On that note, I wish you and yours peace, love and togetherness. 

It Matters ... 

I keep two Father’s Day cards at my desk: one from my parents, and one from my wife. On the cover of the card from my parents is a picture of a young boy dressed in goggles, wearing one of those old-fashioned pilot’s caps with the flaps that hang down over the ears.

He’s standing on a box, with a towel wrapped around him like a cape. His arms are stretched out wide as if he is flying. He has a big smile and a marvelous look of pure enjoyment. The writing with the picture says, “Son, from playing the hero…” Then when you open the card, there’s another picture of a grown man, walking on the beach with his child sitting on his shoulders, holding onto Dad’s hands. They’re playing happily in the waves. The caption underneath this picture, and in an obvious continuation of the sentiment from the cover reads, “…To being the Hero.” Then on the other side of the card is written: “How wonderful it has been to watch you grow into the amazing man you are. Happy Father’s Day.” Then it’s signed simply, “Love You, Mom and Dad.”

Now inside the card from my wife is a picture of our two children, happy as all get-out. Opposite of the picture are the following words: “‘Walk a little slower, Daddy,’ said a child so small. ‘I’m following in your footsteps and I don’t want to fall. Sometimes your steps are very fast. Sometimes they’re hard to see; so walk a little slower, Daddy, for you are leading me. Someday when I’m all grown up, you’re what I want to be. Then I will have a little child who’ll want to follow me. And I would want to lead just right, and know that I was true. So walk a little slower, Daddy, for I must follow you.’”

I have to tell you, about a week or so after getting those cards, I brought them into my office and read them again, maybe ten times or more. They made me cry — and I’m not just talking about getting watery eyed. That happens even when I watch sappy TV. I’m talking about a caught-off-guard, grimacing, tears-rolling-down-my-face-crying-like-a-little-kid-kind-of-cry. Talk about a Hallmark moment.

In hindsight, I don’t really know why the cards affected me like they did. Maybe I was having a bad day at the office, or had been short-tempered with my kids or my wife earlier that morning, and it made me remorseful. Or maybe it was because I really didn’t think that I was worth such neat cards. Regardless, they did something besides generate tears. They still do.

The cards make me stop and reflect. They motivate me and make me appreciative of all that life has to offer, as well as the responsibilities and obligations that we have in life. The cards also impress upon me the fact that we have to be mindful of everything; that everything matters, and even what doesn’t matter — matters.

You see, if it matters to you, but not to somebody else, it certainly matters, right? Intuitively then, if it matters to somebody else, but not to you, it still matters, though, because it matters to that person. That’s why the so-called “Golden Rule” is flawed. It shouldn’t be, “Treat people the way you want to be treated.” After all, “you” could be a real jerk and think it’s okay to treat, and be treated, like a jerk. What the Golden Rule actually should say is, “Treat people the way they want to be treated.” That’s assuming they’re not devil-worshipping, sadomasochists into bad music. That is not good.

But seriously, it’s not just a difference in wordsmithing — it’s not. There’s a fundamental differentiation in the philosophy between the two interpretations. Simply stated, one’s self-oriented and one’s others-oriented. Because you’re savvy, you’ll agree. As importantly, you’ll appreciate the difference and choose the right one. After all, you’re cool enough to read this book, willing enough to get this far, and smart enough to hang in there until the end. That says something about your ability to learn, to be challenged and to accept different interpretations and points of view.

Sure, there will be those who disagree with us (assuming we think alike) and pundits who will say that we’re wrong, or at a minimum, overly sensitive, and just not tough enough. That’s okay. They can, and should, have their own opinions. After all, opinions are like belly buttons: we all have them. How you manage them however, is what it’s all about. The writer F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function” is the sign of a truly intelligent person. And you can do that, can’t you?

Again and as always, pretty much everything matters. 

Most of all ...

That we’re compassionate. There’s a terrific book by Harry Palmer called, Resurfacing: Techniques for Exploring Consciousness, that recommends a five step-exercise for putting compassion in action.

It goes like this: With your attention focused on the other person, be it a friend or stranger, tell yourself, that:

Step 1: Just like me, this person is seeking happiness.

Step 2: Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering.

Step 3: Just like me, this person knows sadness, loneliness, despair.

Step 4: Just like me, this person is seeking to fill needs.

Step 5: Just like me, this person is learning about life.

It matters that we go to work and that we do our best work. But it also matters that we do so smartly and in recognition of why we work, which is to provide for and secure that which is important.

It matters that there is too much violence, hatred, injustice, pain and suffering. We need to do what we can, in our own way, to help the discriminated against, the sick and the less fortunate.

It matters that we have values and ethics; that we can be trusted and trust, that we genuinely listen and genuinely learn, and that we’re empathetic and sensitive.

It matters that we can be individuals with individuality, but that we can also be sensitive, others-oriented and mindful of what others think, feel and what they’re going through.

It matters that we are disciplined and accountable; that we do what we say and say what we’ll do, and that we can take and accept criticism and respond accordingly.

It matters that we can promote, embrace, manage, and deliver change; that we are both realistic and idealistic, and that we know the difference between when, where, and why.

It matters that we can disagree agreeably and that we can take the high-road and turn the other cheek.

It matters that we keep tabs on our finances and manage our cash flow and credit; that we only spend what we can, and only buy what we should.

It matters that we care for our environment and deal with the “inconvenient truth” of global warming; that we respect our world and do our part to keep it clean and healthy.

It matters that we’re always improving ourselves — our minds, bodies and spirt.

It matters that we promote quality in work and life.

It matters that we bestow love and receive love.

It matters that we parent conditionally and respect the job of parenting.

It matters that we appreciate our individual and collective responsibilities to ourselves, our families and our friends — and yes, our companies, colleagues, country and world.

It matters that we laugh, listen to music, sing, dance, stay fit, read, work, enjoy life, learn and strive to thrive.

* This space has been left blank for your own unique “matters". Talk about it with family and friends. Think big.

Recognizing It Matters Is Good. 

Lose Yourself

Confession time:  I like Eminem. 

Now, I get that might sound like a stretch for a 45 year old (though I hear it's the new 38), living in suburbia.  But I do.  Really.  And for a whole host of reasons, including those that others might frown on, re: his lyrics, attitude and bad boy rapper shtick. 

To all his haters, that's your call.  Whatever.  

My call is that he's a talented dude, whose figured out how to package his act.  Love him or hate him, he's got talent and game. 

Whether or not its your cup of game, is a whole other story.

Drink in peace, either way. 

Now that I got that public display of affection out of the way, and in return the likely rebuke of some for the mere mention of my Slim Shady admiration (for the record, I understand and appreciate the concerns in terms of his influence on young minds; gotta keep that in check, for sure) - I'm going to make another confession.  One that I hope might help you, as it has me. 

Here's the deal.

Recently, every morning, I started playing Eminem's (old school) song Lose Yourself.  It's my new anthem to pump me up, and jump start my day.  I like the beat, the lyrics (yes, absolutely the uncensored version) and most of all, the energy; it's pulsating.

I also groove on the title, and think its a great mantra given the realities of work and life.  Because more often than not, our individual selves are our own worst enemy when it comes to getting the right things done. 

Know what I mean? 

Typically, it's our own personal shortcomings, paradigms, ignorance, attitudes, my-ways, and the not-invented-here-syndromes that get in the way - not others'.  Even if it is the others' fault, we only compound it by sticking to our proverbial guns. 

It's true. 

Which is why for me, the song not only revs my engine and fuels my motivation with that gritty, humble swagger that helps drive my work and determinaton - it also reminds me to keep my ego and blind spots in check - in hopes that I don't let myself and "my way," get in the way of the right way.  You dig?   

Now, here's an idea.

Why not give it a try, yourself.  Whether you're a fan or not of rap, Eminem, or the song  ... and even if you are a gold card member of the houghty-toughty-snooty-society-club ... and never cursed, cussed or swaggered a day in your life ... try listening to the song every morning (cranked up) on your iPod (with headphones) for the next 10 days (straight).  Seriously, play it (loud with headphones) for 10 days (straight) every morning right before you start your work, and see what it (amazingly) does for you. 

Heck, you just might be pleasantly surprised.  Especially if it inspires you, like it does me - to, as Mr. Mathers rhymes - make "success the only *$#@! option; failure's not."  Word. 

Motivating Music Is Good. 

PS:  If you're looking to add a couple more "best-of" Eminem beats to your not-for-the-timid-pump-me-up playlist, download Like Toy Soldiers and Beautiful.  It's the trifecta energizer.  Abbott out.     

Social (Media) Etiquette

My dad's fond of saying, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."  (Boy, if I had a nickle for every time he used that one on me.)  While that expression is pretty much old as dirt - it fits today, maybe now more than ever.  Especially when it comes to society's use of social media to publish opinions, and interact with other humans.  

Just because we can (all too) easily use Twitter, You Tube, Linkedin and FaceBook to push buttons and stir the pot - doesn't mean we should.  Nope.  For sure, I'm not alone in my concern for societies new found propensity to trash talk in an oh-so public way.  Lots of folks share a similar frustration.  One of the best public displays of concern comes from famed sports beat writer Mike Lopresti - in an article for USA Today. 

To Mr. Lepresti's enormous credit - he summed up, in one article, what would take me a year to think of and write myself.  No doubt, he's way more talented.  In appreciation of Lopresti's gift of thought and penmanship (and the fact that he gets there better/quicker than I ever could), I've cut and paste the crux of his article below.  If by chance Mr. L takes issue with my use of his smarts, please note that I have never profited from my blog, nor will I (as my reader will testify, right Mom?).      

So take it away Mike, it's all yours ....

"... The football player uses words like ``crook'' and ``devil,'' belittles his teammates and presents the lovely analogy that if the commissioner of the NFL were on fire, not even urine would be good enough to put out the flames.  So maybe more ... can be sold to a world where simple respect and common courtesy are as passé as rotary telephones, to the point where respect is no longer simple and courtesy certainly no longer common.  Thus, we have another example of the sad and sorry state of human interaction. We have the tirade of a ... thoroughly modern man.  Communication has never been more varied, more vast, more technologically exotic. We text, we tweet, we pass each other in the night on Facebook. Heck, sometimes we still even talk in person, and how quaint is that?  And here is the irony. The more advanced the mode of exchanging thoughts and words, the closer our behavior gets to the stone age. All these different and dazzling ways to discuss and compare and analyze and disagree and offer opinion. And all we can do is call names.  So why the flamethrower rhetoric? Just James being James, said his agent, his supporters, and those whose bar for civility is no higher than an anthill.  I find that alibi tiring. That would presume Harrison's only way to make his case is with insults. That cheapens the man, rather than flatters him. Is that who he wishes to be, someone listened to not for his thoughts, but his malice? That would put him on par with a good many talk show hosts.  But it sells. It draws a crowd, because in a culture so cluttered that people cannot watch a beautiful sunset without pulling out a device to push buttons, only the loudest and harshest voices get the notice.  And so you can turn on Fox to see which Democrat is an idiot, and on MSNBC to see which Republican is a fool. For actual rational and useful discussion, you have come to the wrong place, for the purpose is not to solve a problem but to blame the other side.  Communication is no longer used to teach and enrich and serve the public. It is used to attack, the faster the better.  This sickness spreads everywhere, from Main Street to Capitol Hill. And of course, to sports, because few places have more live microphones and quicker money to make.  And so now we have an undeniably great football player with legitimate concerns, who could not get from Thought A to Thought B without demeaning this person or ridiculing that one. The message from James Harrison this week is not that the NFL has problems to solve. It is that he can insult his commissioner and trash his teammates, and pack weapons for a magazine shot. Apparently that was the only way he could tell his story.   But so it goes in today's world of wasted opportunity. All these tools to share our views, and all we can do is shriek. And then, sometimes, apologize."

Well said Mike.  And thanks.  You're my literary hero. 

Social (Media) Etiquette is Good. 

Getting Clarity Through My Rear View Mirror

Last weekend, me and my familia did a boatload of driving. (Boy, did we ever.)  And as I'm sure you can appreciate - fellow summertime road warriors - it wasn't always fun.  Because most of the time, the weather was storming; traffic was infuriating; directions were lacking; bladders were over-activating, and the car was like claustrophobing (work with me on the wording and the rhyming). 

Sure, you been there/done that too, right!? 

So admittedly, while driving, I didn't always have that cool and breezy summer time easy vibe going on.  Quite the contrary.  But a funny thing happened at the height of my self-induced pity, pain and frustration.  You see, I did a double-take when looking back in my rear view mirror.  In the bowels of my selfish, oh-whoa-is-me temperament - I noticed something that I previously took for granted: the smiling faces of my two terrific kids bopping their heads to the music on the radio (and yeah, pushing each others buttons at the same time; all good nonetheless).

The fact that they were safe and happy, along with my wonderful wife sitting next to me in the front seat, made me realize that what matters most, and the purpose for being in that car in the first place, was about us. Not me.  And in that moment, it was like BAMM - I had an instantaneous change of heart.  I really did.

Thanks to that moment-of-truth ... with the good Lord tapping me on the shoulder and helping to eradicate  my super stinky attitude ... I went from acting like an unappreciative, scowling, selfish nutty goober ... to appreciating what I always should appreciate, even in trying times: my family, and time spent with my family.  (Albeit I probably won't lose the nutty goober side; that's kinda in my DNA.)

While it goes without saying, it still needs to be said:  let's cherish our family - whenever, wherever, however we can.  Hopefully for the most of us, that's more of a reminder, than a rebuke.   

Family Is (better than) Good; Its Greeeeeaaat!

No More Gimmicks

Is it just me, or is the world full of annoying sales gimmicks? 

These days, we seem to be sold more hype, hoopla and hyperbole, than substance.  Sure, selling the sizzle over the steak is not new.  But the smoke factor seems thicker than peanut butter soup.          

Indeed, the sales musac is so deafening, it's making me light-headed and giddy; can't hear myself think. Ahhh, but maybe that's their goal, those devious marketing monsters. Well played; NOT. 

So be gone, you bothersome no-good sales gimmicks.  You're wanted no more.  (Except for the eTrade baby; he's a keeper.) 

While we're at it, let's lose the asteriskeseses.  Those annoying little splats seem to be as ubiquitous as mosquitoes in Michigan (it's their state bird, you know).  If you gotta put an asterisk next to something, than maybe that something needs to be a better something else.

And let's give the big heave-ho to all the fine print.  Time to dump that stuff, as well.  Read my lips, all you Madison Avenues of the world: if what you have to explain/cover/defend can't be said in the same font, then don't say it.  Or again, figure out a better product and/or service that doesn't need it.

While I do get a kick out of those crazy NY street vendors slight-of-hand card tricks (that I of course, never gamble at) - I'm not a big fan of slight-of-hand sales gimmicks, asterisks and fine print. 

And I don't think it's just a me thing, either.  Nope. 

So what are we going to do? Accept it?  Deny it?  Refuse it?

Sure, when it's all said and done, it's probably a combination of all three.  After all - the gimmicks, asterisk and fine print (GAFP) are so rampant, it's hard to not buy what we need without getting GAFPd in one form or fashion.  Whatever. 

If given a choice, let's go with the one (s)  that sells us like it is, without all the clanking and the clutter.  If they respect us by telling us straight, then we respect them by buying their stuff.

A fair deal, all around. 

Mutual Respect is Good.

Do The Work

Well gang - it was one of those work weeks.  The kind that reminds me of a famous exchange between Sam and Norm on the ol' sitcom, Cheers. 

You remember the set-up, right: Norm walks in (everyone shouts "NORM!").  He proceeds to belly up to the bar. Hops on his stool. Hunkers down like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Sam pulls him a frothy cold one and asks in a nonplus manner, "How goes it?" Norm replies in a stoic, matter-of-fact fashion: "It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."  Classic.  Used it a million times myself. 

So that was my kinda work week.  The major issue stemmed from a collective lack of getting the "work" part.  Or more appropriately, getting the work we don't have - BUT - still getting to work.  You see, one of our business initiatives is admittedly a "work in process."  Boy, is it ever!  We are building the proverbial bridge, as we cross it.  Which for some, is scary.  Difficult.  Concerning.  Troublesome.  Uncomfortable.

Given the situation though (i.e. timing, product, market, resources, etc.), moreover the upside opportunity (i.e. new sales, profits, market share, etc.) - we just have to keep working, as we work on it.  We have to go, while we get going.  We have to do, while we get it done.

For sure, this type of work situation is kinda messy and unstructured.  It's not the way we all would like it, if we had our choice.  More often than not, however, this is the way it is: at both work, and life.  Sometimes, we just have to make it up, build it up and clean it up - as we go along.   While we all love proof positive, verifiable been there/done that assurances - backed by trustworthy reports and bullet-proof, time-tested systems.  But that's not gonna happen, most of the time.  Nope.  Quite the contrary.

So how do we overcome the FUD factor?  Well, we don't.  We just do our best to get along with it.  In other words, where there's a will and a why - there's a way.  It may not be "the" way - but "a" way.  And "a" way - assuming the pros outweighes the cons - is better than no way.  Way!        
   
But don't just take my word for it.  There's an awesome new book called Do The Work by Steve Pressfield - which does a fantastic job of explaining how to work, when the work is unclear.  Its a great read and well worth the hour or so it takes to get it read.  Oh yeah, the book is also free on Kindle; compliments of the folks at GE.  So get get it my friend.  Better yet, get to work on the work that needs work.

Doing The Work Is Good.

Goodness Gracious

As you may know, I occaaaaaasionally use this blog to bust objectionable behavior.  It happens.  While I wish I could take the high road and shrug off most of the bothersome stuff, sometimes it boils to the surface and just has to be dealt with. 

This is one of them times.  

Here's the peeve, sans the pet.  If someone is kind enough to do something good for someone else ... than that someone else should do something good for them.  Period.  End of story. 

Sadly however, all too often those that are graced, merely use that grace; never to return the favor, or even a semblance of a return favor.  As hard as that indifference and lack of appreciation is to fathom or comprehend, it's even harder to justify.  Sure, we should help others without expecting anything in return.  Especially if the favor can never be matched.  Doing good without expecting repayment is at the heart of most religions, let alone parenting and servant leadership.

That said, there are certain good deeds that absolutely warrant a quid quo pro - assuming that the person on the receiving end of the good deed isn't a completely selfish moron, ingrate, scallywag, bum or loser. (Hmm, maybe that's the problem right there?)      

Now, there's no need to list specific examples of when we should be gracious to others for their good deeds.  I think we know it, when we know it.  Or at least we should, assuming we're not a completely selfish moron, ingrate, scallywag, bum or loser. (Is there an echo in here?).  If someone goes to bat for us, we go to bat for them.  If someone lends us a helping hand, we lend one back.  If someone does something that positively impacts our world, we do something to positively impact them back.  That's the deal. 

Sure, not all good deeds can be equally repaid.  Nor should they.  But they absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it-ly can be given appreciation in one form or fashion.  If the reciprocal deed can be somewhat equal to the other, great.  If it can't, but it's still meaningful nonetheless (i.e. a card, or a call, or a hug) - that's great too.  Do what we can.  When we can. With what we have.  

Being Gracious Is Good. 

Who Deserves A Tribute?

As you probably know (well, unless you live under a rock or are a St. Louis Cardinals fan; Ogres both the same) - Starbucks just celebrated their 40 year anniversary.  Good for them.  Now, knowing that Starbucks has lots of fans, as well as some detractors, I'm not going to try and establish any type of position one way or another. After all, I'm a lover not a fighter, with the exception to Cards fans; 'cause that's just the way us Cubbies role.  (Can you tell it's the start of baseball season ;)

What I will do for Starbucks, in addition to giving them lots of my hard earned coin - is give them some kudos and props on their Tribute campaign.  Dig it.  (Also dig their new Tribute blend: both invigorating and yummy.)  And what makes the campaign special, is its choice of word: Tribute. 

It's a fantastic word.  Clear.  Definitive.  Purposeful.  Sure, saying thanks is fine.  But the word Tribute - more so giving it - is much more better.  It's different and unique, but with a been there/done that comfort; kinda like a great pair of slippers.  But hey, why should Starbucks have all the glory and upside with the word Tribute.  We can all use it.  Pilfer away! 

Seriously, think about who you should "Tribute" and then give them a Tribute.  And this isn't just a business/customer/employer kinda thing.  Nope.  This is a give Tribute to anyone who has, is, or can make a difference in your life kinda thing.  Here's an idea: let's take an hour out of this week to list all of those who we should pay "Tribute" to - and then do it.  Pay them Tribute.  And not by email, text, Twitter, Facebook or smoke signals.  But in person, or the very least, by phone.  You might even want to throw in a high five, or a hug, or a card, or a meal, or a big wet kiss.  Your call.

Go on.  Give it a go. See what happens. 

My bet is, you'll rock their day.  

Tributes Are Good.        

Silly Wishes

The other day, I was sitting in a pretty contentious meeting - when all of a sudden, the quietest guy in the room retorted to another person's far fetched, ludicrous, ain't-ever-gonna-happen idea, "Yeah ... well ... and I wish chocolate chip cookies could cure baldness." 

Good one, hun?  He shoots; he scores!

While I thought I'd heard almost every witty rebuttal for dimwitted thinking, that one's skipped me for what, 23 years in business?  Better late then never, they say.  Much more better than just learning new repartee to add to my repertoire, it brought light on the whole notion of wishful thinking.

More specifically, the silliness in it all.

While I'm all for stretch goals, overachieving objectives and unbridled "was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor" enthusiasm  (a classic line from John Belushi in the movie Animal House) - pure wishful thinking, aka day dreaming - without any degree of practicality and an empirical reality of becoming true - is silly.  And unless you live your life in a movie, a book or a song - it's pretty much a waste of time and energy.  Moreover, wishful thinking is fraught with danger and heartbreak; let alone financial ruin if entrusted too much, or taken too far.  Beware! 

Heck, I wouldn't even waste a quarter in the wishing well on something that didn't have at least some outside chance of coming true.  That said, I'm thinking about throwing in a ten spot to wish the Butler Bulldogs win the NCAA tourney.  But hey, that one's got a realistic shot at happening though, right?  Go Dawgz! 

The moral of the story: stay away from unrealistic silly wishes.  They'll get you nowhere, fast.  Think positive pragmatism, instead.  And while they may someday invent chocolate chip cookies that cure baldness, or other such crazy wishes in business or life might actually someday come true - it's best to keep it real.  

Keeping It Real Is Good.     

Sorry Charlie

The other night, I watched with a wincing, teeth clenching fixation - a few of the infamous interviews with Charlie Sheen.  I wanted to look away (and should have), but couldn't.  It was like a crazy mix of pain and pleasure. Go figure. 

Speaking of crazy, all I can say is: WHOA!  That Sheen's a rambling, delusional, incoherent, arrogant, crazy jerk.  Sad.  Very sad.  Even sadder, on a more selfish level, is that I use to like him.  But now, seeing who he's become, I don't even want to watch his 2 1/2 Men TV show (which I dug), let alone two of my favorite movies, Wall Street and Platoon (well, maybe those can get back into rotation, but only after my wounds heal.) 

Seriously, I don't think I can stomach seeing him again, at least not without an acidic taste in my mouth.  Kinda like I can't stomach hard shell tacos anymore, thanks to a long ago night of extreme over-indulgence of them, which might have been slightly influenced by a Charlie Sheen like Tequila fest (minus the drugs and girls, of course).  But I rigress.       

On a more lighthearted note, his interview reminded me of the classic old-school Starkist "Sorry Charlie" commercial - which for those unknowing youngsters keeping score at home - was a big time popular TV commercial way back when.  The Cliff Note version is, that Charlie the Tuna thinks that just because he talks about having taste, means that he's actually tasty. But that's not the case.  Because he isn't tasty, and Starkist won't have him.  That's why you get the voice over saying "Sorry Charlie." 

Get it?  Got it?  Good! 

And just like Sheen yaps away that he is right; that he is great; that he is super uber fantastico man - don't make it so.  Nope.  Quite the opposite.  Interestingly enough however, this isn't the first time we've seen "Sheenesque" type crazy jerks.  Indeed, there's other obnoxiously full-of-it crazy jerks in all walks of life.  Oh yea, they're out there: knuckle headed crazy jerks, who talk a bunch of stupid smack, yet somehow have the audacity to think they're not crazy jerks.  More often than not, these types of blathering idiots seem to be mostly in professional sports, show business or corporate industry.  Although I've also seen a few regular Joes, who act like crazy jerks, as well.  Regardless of who, where, or when - its just not right.  

While I could continue to type away about how fantastically wrong deplorable crazy jerk behavior is (after all, this is sorta therapeutic, and way cheaper than an actual therapist), it's time to bring this one to a close.  Bummer, hun!?  So what's the moral here?  Simple:  Don't be a crazy jerk.  And don't hang out with crazy jerks.  Not cool, either way. 
           
Crazy Jerks Are Bad.

Can You Handle A Little PDC?

It's confession time.  And this one's a doozy.  Now, while I'm slighty kinda sorta embarrassed by this confession, it's not soo bad that my wife's kicking me out (at least not at this point), or that my kids will hide from me in shame (then again), or that I'll need to visit Father Kevin (heck, he's seen me enough, as it is). 

So you ask: what gives Abbott?  What's this uber confession that's got you so worked up, and yet apparently, so pressed to share!?

Fess up man, and get on with it!

Well, okay.  If you insist.  Here goes.

I gots a man crush on Tony Horton. You know, THE MAN behind the P90X workout program.  Yeah, I think he's cool.  After three full weeks of sweating/grunting/swearing to P90X - he's the current wind beneath my wings (cue Bette Midler).  Seriously, if not for Tony himself and how he does what he does the way he does it, there's no way I'd be doing what I'm doing.  Fact.  And for that very reason, I declare my public display of affection (PDA) for Tony and P90X. (We interrupt this program to state that this is not a paid endorsement by P90X; as if they'd subsidize a flub like me.  Disclaimer #2: don't expect me to look like he does in the picture.  Nope.  It's all about the health benefits (for now ;).)

More than just outing my PDA for Tony to hundreds of thousands of readers (riiight, as if) - the bigger point is to make a public display of commitment (PDC).  Think about it: I've now told everyone (well, one or two) that I've signed up to do the excruciatingly exhaustive 90 day P90X program.  So how can I back out now!  Can't.  Gotta get it done.  Anything short of finishing P90X, and this will be a very visible, pride swallowing, ego tripping, won't hear the end of it, my brothers will make me eat a big ugly nasty bug covered in dirt, type of humiliation.  Gulp!     

You know what though: bring it on!  Make it so!  The fact is, I did it, knowing it, and now you all know it, as well.  I ain't no dummy - for the most part; while I might have been born at night, I wasn't born last night (props to Kid Rock).  I knows what I did, and I'll hold me to.  I expect you to now hold me to it, as well.

So - how 'bout you?  What PDC do you want to do to help hold you to doing something new, or stop doing something you don't want to do?  Moreover, get the doing done.  For sure, you don't have put it out there on social media, let alone subject yourself to cracks about a man crush, like I did (please don't).  You can just keep it with your peeps.  Your call.  Either way, give it a go and put it out there.  It just might help. 

PDC is Good (if you can handle it).          

Lessons From Logan

Yesterday, our beloved dog Logan was sadly put to sleep.  After 15+ awesome years, it was just time for her to move on; discard her painful, achy, nonworking body - so that her beautiful soul could run again in heaven.  Through my tear filled eyes, I can see her now: zipping around fast as can be, running through streams, catching fish, chasing squirrels, playing with kids, licking faces and chomping on sticks.  She's bringing joy, getting well deserved belly rubs and having fun once again. I'm sure of it. 

The fact that she made it this long was fantastic, as Golden Retrievers have an average life span of about 10 years.  While her longevity was phenomenal and appreciated by family, friends and neighbors alike - I don't think it was a random coincidence, or luck. Nope. I think she was truly blessed (as are we, who loved her) because she was who she was.  And who she was can teach a lot of us humans about how to behave, and maybe even how to live longer, happier lives. It's true.

Check it out: If I did a mash-up of Logan's most wonderful and endearing qualities that we can learn from, it would go like this:

Attentive, happy, caring, kind, enthusiastic, careful, modest, playful, courteous, tender, fun, compassionate, protective, poised, accepting, unassuming, others-oriented, joyful, sensitive, smart and loving.  But make no mistake: while Logan would much rather wag her tail, cuddle and be petted - she would growl, bark and bite if the situation, or the person, warranted.  She was no fool, and she suffered no fools. 

Indeed, Logan was the complete package: friend, protector and confidant. Which leads me to think that if we humans could comport ourselves with half the characteristics that Logan had as a dog - the world would be a much better place.

Woof!

So run in peace Logan. 

We love you. 

We miss you. 

We honor you. 

Lessons From Logan Are Good.

Be A Sensor

If your career development plans include getting a promotion - let alone enjoying success with your current position - you're going to do what it takes to succeed, right?  Presumably then, you're going to have to do great at your current job, with the skills you have - while at the same time, learning/incorporating new skills. 

If this is your situation (please say yes ;) - than I'd like to suggest an important, yet often under appreciated skill, that you most definitely need to put on your list. And that's "sensing." In other words, you need to become a "sensor."

What's a sensor, you ask? Well, it's someone who can interpret, and moreover leverage, "soft data." A good sensor knows how to read body language, gauge the subtle clues, feel the vibe, sniff out the BS, observe the not-so-obvious, and detect the empirically undetectable.  Put another way: see the forest through the tress.  

Granted, being a good sensor is one part DNA; that's why they say common sense is not so common.  But make no mistake, you don't need to be a Jedi. It can be learned, honed, and toned through concerted effort and attention.  That said, be careful not to over use, as it can also be dangerous - especially if you let your "instincts" and so-called "street-smarts," get in the way of using real facts and figures.  After all, information still rules, and economics still wins.  And while perception might be reality, reality is still real (deep, hun.)    

So, when developing your talent repertoire, be sure to incorporate sensoring as a key component/attribute for your personal and professional success. 

Feel me?    

Sensoring Is Good.

You Mind?

We've all heard the expression "mind over matter," right?  And it's been said that “what we think, we become.”  Now, while those are both extreme over simplifications of what it actually takes to move from one stage to another, at work or life - they do compute, at least philosophically. 

In other words, we need to be genuinely mindful about who we are, and who we want to be; realizing that we’ll never actually get there, completely. After all, we’re a perpetual, never-ending work in progress.  So let's just embrace that reality, using it as motivation to continuously learn. And grow. 

Taken out of context, this mind myself first mindset might seem somewhat self-centered. At the very least, self-absorbed. Not so. The fact is, we can’t be good sons, daughters, parents, husbands, brothers, friends, neighbors, employees, or any of those without a sincere and genuine self-awareness.

Indeed, the more self-aware we are, the better we can be others-oriented.

But make no mistake: there’s a huge difference between self-aware, and selfish.  Abraham Lincoln said, “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other thing.”  You think he was selfish, or self-aware?  Like most everyone, probably a bit of both - with the self-awareness far outweighing the selfish, like most everyone.               

Mindful Self-Awareness is Good.

Are You A SME?

Are you a SME? You know, a Subject Matter Expert? And not just some poser, make believe pretend SME - but an honest to goodness, no-doubt-about-it, genuinely verifiable SME? 

If you are a real SME - then awesome.  And if you're not a real SME, then figure out how to be one. Now! Before it's too late. Because SMEs are good, and needed - especially at work.  You see, every organization needs SMEs. Actually, they need lots of SMEs, and lots less Gs (that would stand for Generalists: folks that do a bunch of stuff, but have no real subject matter specialization).

Check it out: not only are SMEs more important, wanted and revered - but they typically make more money, as well. And who doesn't want more props and more coin? Not SMEs, that's who! 

Word of caution though: be careful not to come off as a "know-it-all." They're as bad as litter bugs, back seat drivers and itchy sweaters.  For those keeping score at home, the big differences between the two boils down to style, humility, professionalism and likability.  Moreover, you know it, when you see it.           

So - are you a SME? And if not, why not? And if why not indeed, then figure out what you would like to be a SME of, and make it happen.  It just takes time, effort and desire.  Which you have.  So go for it.  Even better, get it done and keep it going.  Because genuine SMEs are always learning about their subject (and/or related subjects) of expertise.  It's a journey.  And hopefully, an enjoyable and monetizeable one at that.    

SMEs Are Good.  ("Know-It-Alls" Are Bad)

Do Gooders

When (most of us) we were kids, it was never a badge of honor to be called a "do gooder".  Unless of course, you wanted to get beaten-up by the bad dooers.  And I for one, was never a fan of the do good effort, or the beatings.    

Then later - in corporate life - the term "do gooder" also had some pretty negative connotations, as it implied a few other not-so-cool labels like "brown noser" and "suck up". Again, not the kind of recognition one goes looking for, unless of course you really were one, or had a thing for getting taunted.  Once again, I shied away from both.   

That said - it's now time to debunk, defuse and dismiss the bad rap on "do gooders". In fact, it's time to make "do gooder" what it should be: a good thing. In other words, it's cool to do good. It is.  And it's not cool to taunt ... let alone give swirleys and/or wedgies ... to the do gooders.   (Especially at the office; HR really frowns on that kind of thing.)     

But seriously: you, me and the world needs more do gooders (sans the brown nosing and sucking up, of course). So let's turn that negative "do gooder" stigma upside down and inside out, and make do gooders ... do gooders.

After all, doing good, is doing good.   And it's way better, than doing bad.

Do Badders Are Bad.

Do Gooders Are Good.