Keeping It Real (and Good) In 2011

At this time of year, many of us contemplate, sign-up for and commit to various New Years resolutions. It's our thing.  That said, and in recognition of the yin/yang of 2010 (albeit it way better than the grind of 2008 and 2009), it's easy to see why we want to focus on positive resolutions. (As if anyone would sign up for negative ones, right?)

But before we go setting overachieving, unbelievably optimistic resolutions that involve words like terrific, fantastic, extraordinary, phenomenal, incredible and all those other type of super-duper adjectives - let's keep the expectations real, and manageable, and most of all achievable.  Think positive pragmatism.   

That said, a word that that fits nicely given past issues, present dynamics and future uncertainties, is the word (drum roll please): good. In fact, good is great.  It's achievable, believable and realistic.  It works.

So here's to keeping it real, and keeping good health, good friends, good business, good careers, good spirituality, good love, good hugs, and good family, for good living.

Good is Good.

Happy New Year!

Tis' The Mood That Makes The Season!

Listen merry merriers and bring forth an ear.  I've got a tale to tell so you best huddle near. 

But before I embark, make remedy now: dash to the kitchen and rustle up chow.  Warm up your cup and kindle the fire; I'm ready to roll, so appease my desire!

T'was upon a cold, morning clear; my eyes were not a' twinkle, no coffee near.  At the job I was already, no frolicking in sight - my spirits were low and my attitude not bright.  All work and no play, make Scott a dull boy; it's true what they say, I wasn't a joy. 

Oh woe ... oh me ... was dreary as can be!  

Why here ... why now ... can't fun be with me!?  

Then out of the blue came a stranger so bright: could it be a vision? A ghost? Or some trick of the light?  "Hold still," I cried, "Stay just where you are! You've scared me oh, so best keep afar!"  

"Chill dude," the aberration said with a laugh, "I'm here to bring cheer and help you relax."  "Relax!?" I replied, "There can be no such thing. I have work and commitments that make my head ring!  I have deadlines, reports and emails a' plenty ... not to mention Christmas day is all but upon me!"   

"Now my good man," said the vision with ease, "Listen to my words for a dose of some peace.  For what I say you may not get, but when I leave you shan't ever forget.  Stand-up straight, don't slouch down - for you're about to hear the soundest advise around." 

At that the mirage smiled and gave forth a wink, and continued to speak of things I could not think.  It said in voice clear and clean, the following words I found so serene.  "A donut with no hole is a danish; a flute with no holes is a stick; yin with no yang is unzenlike; cathedrals aren't built from just bricks!"  

At that my eyes opened and my heart gave way ... my gloomy spirits were lifted, and my funky funk went away.  Oh joy is me, I truly do understand: it's so simple, so pure, yet full of command!   

So my good reader, put down this tall tale, and run with me fast to the bar for some ale.  Now raise a good toast to the heavens above, it's time to make merry and bring forth the love! 

Hug your family, your friends and your neighbors too ...  'cause it's time to put work aside for a few.  Shout and be happy and sing something snappy. 

Life is good, we are fine; all is great, at this time. 

Have a safe and happy holiday season.

Safe and Happy are Good.

Tiny Triumphs

When it comes to "self promotion" - especially when it's needed to get a job,  raise, or even a date - it seems that most everyone wants to highlight and/or talk about their super big achievements.  While that's all fine and good, the number of those super big achievements pales in comparison to the number of "tiny triumphs" that are a major basis for who we are, where we are, how we got here, and what makes us tick.      

The problem though, is how/when/where/why to communicate those important yet under appreciated tiny triumphs, in the impressionable, get-to-know process? After all, it's hard to put those tiny triumphs into a basic resume, interview, or date conversations - let alone do it in a way that isn't boring, and without purpose (we've all met those people, right!?).        

The answer: plan ahead; figure it out; find a way; fit it in; get it done - especially the most impactful, best-of-the-best tiny triumphs.  Even better, call it out by name.  In other words - let the other person know, at the right time and place, how you feel tiny triumphs are the building blocks that help make us who we are.  Then, give an example - but only the one really big tiny triumph that will be most relevant to that person, or situation.  And watch 'em light up, when you take a tiny triumph and turn it into a fun, captivating, worthwhile story.  Give it a go!   
   

Tiny Triumphs Are Good.          

Judging Vs. Judgmental (With Props to Ben)

When judging, it's important to not be judgmental.  In other words, when making an important decision that requires true objectivity - be that at work, or life - we have to ensure that our ultimate decision is not based on ours, or others, "pre-filtered" individual opinions.  That's being (problematically) judgmental.   

Think about it: how can we truly expect to get the best-of-the-best decision, if/when our individual biases (especially the superficial ones) get in the way. We can't.  Now, try as we might to not be judgmental - and moreover, judge with objectivity - that's easier said than done. That's why, when it comes to quality decision making, it's absolutely imperative that we screen our assumptions/presumptions/conclusions  through the right system - like the Ben Franklin system, for instance.  That one always works: it's easy, quick and effective. 

What's that!?  Never heard of the Ben Franklin "scales of justice" system?  Well then, let's give it a go.  Simply draw a horizontal line down the middle of a piece of paper, and another vertical towards the top of the page (so that it looks like a scale).  On the top of the left side write "Pros," and on the top right side write "Cons."  Then when ready, jot down your lists.  When done, go with which side has the most, just like an objective scale would do (assuming you didn't cheat; Ben don't like cheaters).    

By leveraging Ben Franklin's simple system to help us objectively judge our big decisions ... and using the best and most accurate information available ... it stands to reason that this little extra step will help us overcome those obscured judge-mentalists tendencies.  And maybe, avoid some big issues down the road. 

At least we hope, right.

Objective Judging is Good.

Tempered Uniqueness

Been thinking about uniqueness: the good and the bad, and the yin and the yang of it. And, after much thought and deliberation (I know, get a life Scott, right!?), I'm figuring that while it's nice to be unique, its more important that our uniqueness doesn't get in the way of our true potential.  Nope, not worth it in the long haul. 

Check it out: while self-expression and individuality are welcome and wanted, we have to be careful that we don't go overboard, and alienate ourselves in the process.  Because uniqueness - at the sacrifice of opportunity - is a hard pill to swallow, let alone digest.    

For many people, especially young adults just entering the workforce - that "tempered uniqueness" is easier said then done, especially as the boundaries between what's acceptable or not, are open to interpretations and influence.  That's why the best rule-of-thumb, especially at work, is to keep the uniqueness in check with your  employer's/customer's/market's expectations of what is acceptable. When in doubt as to what's right or wrong or suspect - look around, take note and go with what's safe.  That applies to everything: how we dress, talk, walk, write and express ourselves. 

As they say: perception is reality.    

Here's another reality: we typically don't get fired for "looking the part," especially if we perform the part. So, if our uniqueness impacts our hiring, promoting or (gulp) firing - then keep it out of the workplace.  Period. 

Tempered Uniqueness is Good.

The Remedy to Smiling Deniers (Hint: Adapt)

We've all met a smiling denier, right? You know, someone that says "nope," nuh-uh" and "sorry charlie" - but with an actual smile on their face.  Like that makes the "ain't gonna happen," "no-way Jose" taste any better!?  (Not.)   

Oh, the tyranny of it all; mixing a smiling face - or at least the attempt at one - with a no. That's not even bitter/sweet: its just annoying. And more often than not, that smile is a clear signal that the no is a big-time NO. In other words, it seems that those that smile when saying no - are typically more adamant about sticking to their no.  Go figure. 

So what to do about/with this positive naysayer? Well, 1) smile back, 2) say thanks and 3) ask in a respectful matter-of-factness: "Is there room for discussion?" If the answer is an unquestionable no, then the answer is no.

Move on. Save face.  That's that.  Adapt.  

If the answer is somewhere between okay/maybe/I don't know/we'll see, then tread lightly with a simple. "Great, what do we need to clarify?" Then let them lead the way, respond accordingly and if possible, find a healthy compromise, while keeping in mind that sometimes it's best to let them win in the end, so that you can fight the good fight - and maybe a better fight - another day. 

Win some; lose some, right.

But win or lose - we need to adapt, either way.  Because in business, as in life - it's about evolution, not revolution.  As Darwin discovered (and more often than not, people get wrong): survival isn't about being the strongest, it's being the most adaptable.  

Adaptable Is Good.

Turning Fathers to Dads

The Indianapolis Star reports that 4 out of 5 Indianapolis Public School students don't live with their fathers.

How. Very. Sad. Indeed.

Sure, some of those fathers might not live with their kids because of divorce; but they're probably good dads, and they do what they can given the housing arrangements. On the other hand, a bigger percentage of those fathers are literally non-existent (and intentionally so) in their kid's lives.  Which makes them just fathers, not dads.  And that's a gargantuan problem, with alarming consequences.

While the downsides of this heartbreaking reality are too voluminous to count - especially as it impacts the kids - one has to ask what type of jobs, let alone careers, do the fathers have who choose to be absentee dads? And does their work impact their lives in such a way that if they had the right job (let alone career) - they'd be better dads? The answer, of course, is yes. And therein lies both the problem, and part of the solution.  In other words, if the guys who father children were given proper training - let alone education - as it pertains to both their job/career AND daddying - then chances are, they will do better at both.

Now, as easy as that is to comprehend and moreover appreciate - it apparently is not that easy to get done, hence the abysmal stats. That's why our schools and universities and the parents who run both - need to do a better job of ensuring that young men get both work, and life related education.  Simultaneously.  At the same time, young men themselves need to step it up, and take greater accountability, as well. 

No doubt, that's easier said than done.  After all, the list of issues, let alone potential remedies, is long and full of debate.  That said, one fundamental and undebatable truth is this: it's critically important to interweave job/career skills training and education, with life/parenting skills training and education.  In fact, let's make that work/life "learning duality" a mandate.  A must.  A matter-of-fact expectation.  No "ifs" "ors" or "buts" about it.  If we can ensure that our young men can be good dads (let alone good parents) - then it stands to reason that those same young men will do better at work, and enjoy better careers.  Taken together, these young men will then live better lives, which will better their families, communities and society at large. 

Turning Fathers to Dads is Good.

Comsi Comsa or Asi Asi (Shame on Both)

Doh is me.  You'd figure that after living in both France and Spain over 4 years - and moreover, having taken about 8 years of French and Spanish classes - that I'd be way smarter when it comes to speaking those languages: Not! Quite the contrary, and quite the pathetic shame.  A shame so shameful, that I should wear the cone of shame.  Just call me Doug, minus the cuteness and propensity for squirrels.

So you don't remember those foreign languages, you say. Big deal, right?  It happens.  And hey, we speak American anyhow, si?  Nothing to be shameful 'bout!?  Well, to a degree, that's true.  The problem however, is that while I pretty much remember nada (aha!), I do remember - more so, still use to this day - two Euro-centric expressions that I don't really like, or want to use.  But shamefully, use I do. 

Now, I know you're jonesin' to know: just what exactly are those expressions, that hound me so?

Well, the first is "Comsi Comsa" (which is French, for those keeping score at home). The second is "Asi Asi" (which, you got it, is Espanol).  And guess what?  They both mean the same thing, which roughly translated to English (aka American), means  "So So". 

That's right sports fans - they are a fancy, foreign way to shrug and say "so so".  And that's why I use them, I guess - because I hate the English version.  Seriously, what's up with "so so"?  How can anyone be "so so"?  Pick a lane, darn it.  And pick the right one, at that.  In other words - even if we feel so, "so so" - tell your face you don't.   Then tell the face that asks "how you doing?" something better than so so.  Because frankly, so so isn't even so so.  It's just lamo.  And nobody likes a downer.     

So here's my plan, thanks to this public admition of linguistic shame:  no more Comsi Comsa, or Asi Asi.  No more hiding my own disdain (and use) of the lamo "so so" expression.   I'm done being hypocritical, and living the lie.  Shame no more.  From now on, it's all good; even when it's not (get my drift?) 

Who's with me? 

So So Is Bad (In Any Language).
  

Turn Trustworthy To Trust, We Must

Don't know why, but I'm having a big-time Yoda moment. Maybe it has something to do with the title and content of today's blog (but be certain, I know not).  Anywho, it turns out that researchers have established that trust is critical to organizational effectiveness. No mind meld there, hun. 

Being trustworthy yourself, however, does not guarantee that you are capable of building trust. That takes actual, real-world, proof-positive, trust-centric results (or being a really old, wrinkly little green fella, with gargantuan ears, who talks funny; kid I not).

In other words, just because you think you're Hans Solo when it comes to your own integrity - if others don't think that, well then, that's their reality, right?  Which can make it that much more frustrating when the real you, doesn't align with the you they see. While you want, and maybe even deserve their trust - they just don't give it.  Yea, that'd make even Obe One lose his cool.

So what to do, if that's the case? Well, to level set - there's no quick pill, sauce or anecdote for this one. Nope. On the contrary, it takes time. Sometimes, lots of time. Because the underlying formula for earning trust boils down to this simple, yet powerful, mantra: walk the walk. No - it's not talk the walk, or even walk the talk. It's walk the walk.  Which means we can't market, hype, hurry or sell our way to trust; no phone ins here.  Net/net: It takes the actual, proof-positive fulfilment of trust-earning deeds: which takes time. 

So be patient young Skywalker, if this is your situation. Building trust is journey, not event. Evolution, not revolution.  Be, you must.  Do, you must.  Earn, you must.  (So says Yoda.)

May the force be with you.

Trusted Is Good.

Skimmers, Browsers and Scanners: Oh My!

For those playing along at work or home, today's title is an updated takeoff from Dorothy's famous line: "Lions, Tigers and Bears - Oh My" from my favorite hip-to-be-square movie, The Wizard of Oz.  And no, we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

So what's with the retro remix, you ask? Well, I just read an interesting interview with Nicholas Carr, author of "What the Internet is Doing to our Brains." (That title makes me think about one of my favorite Monty Python skits, where the Gumby characters gum, "My brain hurts!" Love that skit!).  Now, no surprise here (as if the title of his book doesn't give it away already) - but Mr. Carr thinks that the Internet is making us lazy when it comes to how we find, read and process information. He thinks we're getting to be a bunch of superficial "skimmers, browsers and scanners."

Whoa, pretty heavy stuff.  My brain hurts just thinking about it. 

However, all those in agreement with Mr. Carr, say "ayyy": AYYYYY!!! You bet. He is absolutely, positively, make-no-doubt-aboutitly correct. Moreover, we need to heed his warning, and take care not to let our slothiness get the better of us.

So the question is - nay, the challenge: what can we do about it?

Well, at a minimum, keep it in check. Especially when it comes to making important decision at work, and life. If it passes the "hmm, better do the homework on this one" test - then don't just skim, browse or scan. Really read. Really think. Really digest. Then maybe even repeat, wash, rinse and do it again. After all, serious business and/or life decisions require serious attention.

Think about it: would you want your pilot to merely skim, browse and scan when it comes to flying your plane? Well then, isn't "flying" your career, and your life (especially if it impacts others) - worthy of the same careful attention and mindfulness? Sure it is.

Thoroughness Is Good.

Understand To Be Understood

As we approach election day - the rhetoric, mud slinging, chastising, name-calling, embarrassingly ugly pathetic behavior (and frankly, that's an understatement) is sad.  Oh. So. Sad.

With all this American-on-American verbal venom, I'm reminded of the famous Rodney King refrain, which he pleaded after getting beat up during the LA riots: "Can't we all just get along!?" And while this character bashing is not physically violent as the LA riots, the words are nonetheless bruising, painful and unnerving. 

So, what can we learn from all this political craziness, as it pertains to our own lives? Well, for one (and by the way, there's a boatload of lessons to be learned) is the importance that to be understood, we need to understand.  Likewise, to understand, we need to be understood.  And we need to do both with genuine sincerity; can't dial this one in.     

As simple as it sounds, it's apparently not that easy to do.

But try we must. More than just try, do we must. After all, how can we hope to do what needs to be done (and how best to do it) - if we don't at first pay sincere attention to what's actually going on, and what other people want done.  But all too often, most of us walk right into a situation - be that friendship, jobs, marriage, politics, whatever - with misunderstood assumptions, and make uninformed judgments/decision.  Not good.

Here's an idea: when we're in doubt, or when we're clouded by assumptions, let's simply ask the other person:  "What do you think?"  And then listen - genuinely and effectively - so that we can incorporate our new understanding, as part of making ourselves understood. Sure, that's way simpler said, than done (just look around, right?).  But it's doable, nonetheless.           

Understand To Be Understood Is Good.

Dollars and Sense

Sometimes, we find ourselves having to choose between what we hope makes the most sense, with what's best (or better), for the proverbial "bottom line."  Sure, we've all been there/done that: at work, and life.   

We've also seen how the results of these choices, can tend to favor one, over the other. It's as if sometimes the options are diametrically opposed. And why? Why do we have to have conflict - either perceived, or real - when it comes to choosing dollars over sense?

Maybe it's a DNA thing. 

While we might not be able to fix the root cause (genetics are hard to rewire), what if we agree on a proactive remedy. And what's that, you ask? Well, simple: don't let it get there in the first place. 

In other words, when it comes to making decisions that will be judged based on dollars over sense, or sense over dollars - just insist that the decision be accordingly aligned, taking both into equal consideration through balanced judgement, and healthy compromise.  Think and/with ... not either/or. 

If we start with the end goal in mind, we can get the balance and harmony we're looking for.
 
Dollars And Sense Are Good.

Book Smarts or Street Smarts (Why Not Both!?)

If I had a nickle for every time I've heard someone rationalize that their keen sense of knowing and intelligence comes from being "street smart" (versus book smart, I assume) - well, I'd have me enough money to buy a triple grande, no whip, mocha chip cappuccino (although, I don't think my choice of morning beverage does much for my street creed).

In other words, if you correlate my fufu/fiffy drink to the expense-side math, there's lots of folks who have boasted to me about their S over B factor. And why? Is one really better than the other? Or cooler? Or edgier? Or whateverer? And why does one have to be over the other? Like it's superior? Or better? Or whateverer.  That's why I call BS, to the SB.

The reality is: both are good. In unison. Partnership. Matrimony. BUT, if you actually have to put one ahead of the other, well then, it's simple: books smarts trump street smarts. After all, books are an incredibly cost-effective, safe and efficient way to learn, and learn lots. And they don't come with all the concerns that come from the street. 

So, for all those hipsters that thinks it's hipper to be street than books - think again. Because at the end of the day, our goal is wisdom. And wisdom comes from paying attention to all sources. Especially books. So if asked, tell 'em you're book smart AND street smart. Better yet, don't tell them anything; be book smart and street smart without the fanfare, and let your wisdom from both, show through in how you work, live and achieve.  To play off/on the pedestrian cliche: walk the talk; don't talk the walk. 

Smarts Are Good (Wherever They Come From)

Work In The Name of Love

We've all heard the wishful sentiment uttered by well-intentioned thinkers: "Do what you love, and love what you do." While that's a great suggestion, and for sure would be nice - the reality is, that's probably going to be a stretch, for the most of us.

For the most of us, it's more like "Do what you can, and accept what you do." Because after all, a job and its pay checks are more often than not, the biggest priority. More to the point, it's hard to love anything, let alone live - if we don't make money. 

Now, before we think work's gotta be all dreary and sad and oh-woe-is-me even if the job isn't what we love, let alone ideal ... think again. It can be. Especially if we have the right perspective, attitude and gratitude. Sure, it can be hard to whistle while we work.  And no doubt, some jobs just aren't fun.  But throughout it all, remember that from our work, we get paid.  And with our pay, we are able to provide for ourselves and our family. And family, is where love calls home.

So maybe the saying does work, if you think about: We can love what we do, and do what we love - assuming love "in the name of" is the reason - and the by product - of what we do.  Get it? 

Working In The Name Of Love Is Good.

Trust But Verify

In the workplace, there's often uncertainty and even anxiety, with regard to how someone should ask someone else about an assignment they are working on.  Or more specifically, when that assignment will be completed (assuming they haven't been told).

The thing is, most people are extremely sensitive to seeming rude or worse yet - mistrustful - if they ask their colleague, let alone a boss, about the status of their work. Even if it impacts their own work. After all, they don't want to imply that that person isn't working, or won't get it done. They just want to know what's going on, and when things will get done. Sounds fair enough, right? But it causes anxiety, on both sides of the equation.

So what's the remedy. Well, embrace a simple yet powerful agreement/philosophy: Trust But Verify.

If everyone in the office works under the Trust But Verify mantra, than everyone is covered: The person doing the work in question knows they are trusted from the get-go, but that they also need to let those that matter, and those that might ask, know when the assignment will get done. And the ones doing the asking get absolved from seeming mistrustful, because the policy clearly states that trust is the foundation to the relationship. So if they have to ask, for whatever reason - don't take it personally.

To be clear though, this Trust But Verify mantra only works if both sides live up to their end of the deal.

Not only does it work, it's the foundation for great teamwork. Try it.

Trust But Verify Is Good.

I Don't Know (But I'm Ready To Learn)

The other day, I was in a meeting with a bunch of know-it-alls.  They we're talking over each other about a bunch of stuff.  Everyone had something to say (and then some).  Not surprisingly, everyone also seemed to have an answer; let alone the right answer.  I'm pretty sure I never heard the words "I don't know." 

And that's a shame.  

You see - it's okay to not always have the answers.  After all, we don't know what we don't know.  While it might seem uncomfortable at times, it's actually commendable to admit that we don't have the knowledge or understanding that others have.  It doesn't mean we're stupid; it just means we're not there - yet.  

By admitting our inquisitive uncertainty, we're being honest and humble - which are admirable traits, especially when hanging out with know-it-alls.   By announcing "I don't know" - we actually get a more intelligent conversation going, which can lead to a more intelligent outcome.  From confusion, comes clarity.  But we can't get to the clarity, before admitting the unknown.

Sure, it can be unsettling - let alone scary or embarrassing - to admit that we don't know something (especially if we, or others, think we should).  But as a friend of mine once said when rationalizing the upside versus downside of the IDK mantra: "I'd rather put up with a momentary perception of stupidity, than being a fool for life, just because I didn't want to admit that I didn't know something, and take the time to learn."  Great advise.

I Don't Know (But I'm Ready To Learn) is Good       
           

Be Quick - But Don't Hurry

We've all heard the expression "speed kills." And while that particular phrase was likely coined with regard to cars, or boats, or skiing, or any physical activity whose rapid momentum can cause (gulp) death - it also applies to business, and life.  At least the sentiment, that is. 

And why? Because speed, in and of itself, can be bad. Although we might like speedy service, or speedy success, or speedy whatever - the fact is that speed, for the sake of speed, can cause problems.  More often than not, speed can make for mistakes. It can lead to poor quality, failure and a host of unfortunate by-products.   

When we speed, we hurry. And when we hurry, we can mess up. Which makes the word hurry, like the word speed, subject to negative interpretations.  Put another way, if we over do speed and we hurry - which leads to subsequent, but avoidable, mistakes - than we might mess up our job, which can kill our career. (See how that works?)  At the very least, it can get us hurt, which impacts our ability to succeed. 

While it can be good to go fast, be quick and have a sense of urgency - we never want speed, or the hurry factor, to get in the way of a job well done.  Best case scenario, think fast AND accurate; it's a both/and - not an either/or.     

Fast AND Accurate Is Good.

Be Professional

Watched the premiere episode of The Apprentice.  Once again, was appalled by some of the contestants' pathetic lack of manners.  Seriously, where do they get some of these people from, and why them? (I think we know the answer, as it is sur-reality TV after all; but let's let this one play out for a while.)

If it's to to make business people look like idiots; or make us cringe to think that this is acceptable common-place "board-room" behavior; or imply that the office environment is wrought with arrogant superficiality, petty cat-fighting, divisive name-calling, cowardly back-stabbing, with the occasional off-handed compliment - then they are doing a good (but unfortunate) job.

Sure, bad behavior happens at work.  But that's not the norm.   

That said, to anyone in corporate America, especially young new employees, who thinks the ugly sensationalized behavior overly displayed on The Apprentice is okay, let alone tolerated in most companies - think again. It's not. That show should have both a viewer discretion AND a warning label like they put on unhealthy products. That label should read: "Made for TV only. Don't try this at work. (Unless you do actually want to be fired.)"

If I could give those TV contestants - as well as those real-life contestants that need it - one easy-to-live-by-easy-to-remember piece of advice, it would be this: Be Professional.  Please.      

Being Professional is Good.

Loose Lips Sink Ships

We've all heard the expression: "loose lips sink ships." While the saying might be a little old-school (I first heard this one from my grandpa), it still applies today. Boy does it ever.

The reality is, there's an abundance of ways in which folks can lose their lips, and without even speaking, i.e. Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Linkedin, Blogging, You Tube, and texting to name a few silent lip movers. Heck - social networking is even worse than the spoken word, as words can be forgotten (and denied) - while all that other stuff gets recorded, and in theory, can be accessed (and hard to deny) by intended and unintended ears and eyes forever.  Whoa is right!

In today's high-tech world ... coupled with our low-tech human nature to judge and impugn ... there are just way too many ways to say/text/blog too much, which can get us into a lot of trouble. So let's be careful when it comes to loose lips, or loose fingers, or loose videos, or anything loose that can lose us our jobs, or lose us a chance at a job.  It's just not worth it.   

When it comes to deciding whether or not something we say/text/blog/video - should be said/texted/blogged/videod - just remember the other oldie but goodie expression favored by moms: "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it." True that.

Loose Lips Are Bad.

The Knight Lesson Learned

10 years ago today, Bob Knight got fired from Indiana University. Heck, he was more than just fired, he was canned; got the boot; given the big-time heave-ho (kinda like he what he did to the chair in the picture). Frankly, the whole episode was ugly, sad and surreal (again, kinda like what he did in that picture).

Here's the bummer of the story.  You see, on the one hand, Bob Knight did good. If you know the "untold" Bob Knight story, he had/has commendable qualities. The deeds, attributes and accolades on and off the court are extensive. It's true.

On the other hand, he also did bad, acted bad and had bad judgment. All too often, he refused to play by the "zero tolerance" expectations set by the administration when it came to keeping his pushy/loud-mouth/I'm above it all/don't tell me what to do/my way or the highway/in your face/shoving/neck grabbing/arm pulling/tirade ridden behavior in check, and under control.

So what's the "Knight Lesson" you ask?  Well, that it's not about you (or me). It's about them: your team, colleagues, family, employers, customers and community. Sure, you (and me) have to show up and be a part of it all, and take care of making you (and me) the best we can be. But that's what you (and me) do behind the scenes. While we're on the proverbial clock and getting paid - make sure it's about them.  By being them-oriented; putting them first, and being dedicated to their success - we take care of ourselves along the way.  

Making It About You (And Me) Is Bad.

Making It About Them Is Good.

To Thyself Be True

Socrates famously said, "To Thyself Be True." Smart dude (albeit he was a little nutty, and by the looks of his picture, could use some sleep and a shave; but I think that was the trend back then.)  More recently, Harvard Business Review published an awesome article titled: For A Better Career - Look Inward. When you have time, I recommend that you give the article a thorough read. After all, it could play a big role when it comes to thriving.

In the meantime, here's the low down: To succeed at work, and life for that matter, you must first start with yourself.  While that might sound somewhat selfish or egocentric - it's not. After all, you can't be others oriented, let alone a servant leader - if you are not a "self-assessing" person yourself.

So, what are some of the key suggestions to help us better assess ourselves, well:

1) Reflect (think about who you are and whats going on)
2) Ask for feedback (get others people's opinions, even those you don't like)
3) Be honest about your shortcomings (in play on Jack Nicholson's famous quote from the movie A Few Good Men: you can handle the truth)
4) Highlight your contributions to the bottom line (its important to keep score)
5) Describe the ares in which you improved your shortcomings (personal and professional growth is evolutionary, not revolutionary; we should always e improving)
6) Don't be a thunder stealer (give credit where credit is do)

In addition to those recommendations, the article also suggests that we should think about the following questions as well: Is what I'm doing working? How can I make it better? Am I realistic about my capabilities? Have I fallen into any unproductive habits? Is any behavioral problem like temper, disconnectedness, undue optimism or unneeded anxiety getting in the way? Am I capitalizing on my strengths and correcting my weaknesses? Am I focusing on my priorities? Am I modeling the self-awareness that I expect of others? Am I studying the competition and the customers intently but neglecting to look inward?

Indeed, that's a boatload of stuff to think about. But the good news is, you don't have to get it done all at once. Take your time; be patient and have fun. What you don't want to is ignore it. That's a negative.

Self-assessment is a practiced skill. It takes time.  More so, it takes work.  How you choose to accept that work, is up to you.

Self-Assessment is Good.

Got GAME?

Candidly, I struggle with using sports cliches in business, or life.  Even worse: war cliches. (But hey, if you like 'em - knock yourself out).  That said,  I ran across this sports cliche/acronym the other day, and it really resonated with me.  I like it.         

So, since this is a team sport, I thought I'd call an audible; step to the plate; huddled-up; bounce the ball in your court; skate to where the puck's going; take the shot, and see if we can knock this one out of the park. ("DOH" says Homer. I just did it myself.) 

Above and beyond the parallel to action-oriented sports, this little ditty makes an acronym out of the word GAME - where the G stand for Governance (i.e. how we manage and relate), the A stands for Accountability's (i.e. our responsibilities and objectives ), the M stands for Means (i.e. our actions and resources to get things done), and the E stands for Ends (i.e. our results).           

When it comes to business, and life - GAME matters.  It's at the very core of what we do, why, and how we do it.  GAME counts.  

The next time someone asks if you got game; or your trying to figure out how to succeed at "the game" - think about the GAME acronym, and align/measure yourself to that.  It can only help. 

And remember, while there may not be an "I" in team, you can't spell team without an M and E.  (Sorry, I just had to get one more in there before the clock expired; into the penalty box I go.)            

GAME is Good.    

Teaching Moments

Recently, we've been hearing a lot about "teaching moments."  For the most part, the recent wave - make that a tsunami - of TM euphoria stems from the furor, hubbub and hullabaloo over the Shirley Sherrod saga (if you have to ask what that was, well, you must be a Patriots fan).  Indeed, the President himself  proclaimed it a teaching moment of epic proportion. 

That said, I'm concerned.  It seems that we've adopted an expression whose consequence implies that we can package something, that just can't be packaged - into a sound-bite, bumper-sticker dimension. 

And that something is LEARNING.  

You see, learning is constant.  It's fluid, streaming and never-ending (if done right).  It's not a "momentary" thing, as it should stay with us well past a moment.  Heck - we even do it in our sleep, and subconsciously when we are awake.  We are always learning, because we are living.   And if we are living, we should always be learning.   

Sure - teaching as an act has its place, time and space.  It has moments. 

But learning - that's continuous.  It's the gift that keeps on giving. 

Learning is Good.   

Structure Defined

In business, there are certain words that some like, and some don't.  Depending on your upbringing, schooling, career, job, company, and a host of other factors - certain words can be interpreted as good, or bad; likable, or unlikable - irrespective of their actual dictionary definition. 

A couple of words that pop to mind are systems, rules, process, and standards.  Personally, I like those words. But, I've seen them misplaced and misused (let alone misinterpreted) - and can understand why some folks cringe at their use.  It happens.             

My favorite word that some like, and some don't, is structure.  For many, structure is (sadly) inhibiting; it implies unnecessary conformity, rigidity, formality and often times, a "my way or the highway" temperament.  Structure, when mishandled, can be an excuse for laborious, and overbearing rules.  Indeed, it can be viewed as a negative, not a positive.  And that's a shame. 

Because structure is good, when it's good structure. 

Good structure provides guidance.  It defines.  It keeps us accountable.  Focused.  On target.   It's both systematic, and flexible.  It provides measurements, and managements.  With good structure, we're able to get back on track, when we fall off track (which inevitably happens). Structure can provide safety, comfort and peace of mind.  Which is why structure is two parts science, one part art.           

There's a periodical devoted to art and architecture called The Structurist. In it, they (beautifully) define the word structure, as follows:  "Structure means to build, to construct, to form, as well as the organization or morphology of the elements involved in the process.  It can be seen as the embodiment of creation ... a quest not only for form but also for purpose, direction and continuity." 

Awesome perspective, don't you think?

(Good) Structure is Good.

Onward and Upward

Earlier today, the US soccer team's run of anxiety promoting, heartburn inducing, cardiac-arresting, come-back wins - came to an end.  And hence, their long-shot run at winning the coveted World Cup is alas, not gonna happen.  Sob sob/sniff sniff.

Oh well, it was (mostly) fun, while it lasted. 

So now what!?  Wallow in self-pity?  Scream at the moon?  Kick the dog?  Huff and puff and fuss and muss about the injustice and bummer of it all?  Nah - it's done.  It's over.  Onward and upward.  

As much as that "onward and upward" cliche can sometimes be used in a  kind of flippant, callous and condescending manner - in this case, it fits; like it does in many situations at work, in business and in life.  Sure - sometimes things can happen (especially when we are on the losing end of things) that need serious reflection, and can cause a lifetime (or at a minimum, a short-time) worth of coulda/shoulda/woulda wishful thinking. 

But not here.  Not in this case.  In this case, it was fun while it lasted.  (Albeit sometimes agonizingly fun.)  No one got hurt. The world is still going.  It's time for us to move onward and upward.  Repeat: onward and upward.   Because in the big scheme of things - what with all the other crazy stuff that we have to deal with at work, family, and life - this is just one of those times/situations/events - that deserves the OU treatment.

Onward and Upward is Good.

Wooden It Be Good!?

Yesterday, one of my role models, John Robert Wooden, passed away at the phenomenal age of 99.  For those that don't know, Wooden was an inspirational figure for many (make that millions of many).  And why?  Because simply put, he epitomized servant leadership. 

Sure - he was human, and had flaws.  And, as with any accomplished person, especially if they succeed at work, family, and life - he had his (few) detractors.  That said - 9.9 out of 10 who knew/know better, thought he was pretty awesome.  And for all the right reasons. 

Simply put - Wooden lived a life of genuine leadership, and an unfailing kindness to all.  His heartfelt teachings, which are plentiful, emphasis at their core the importance of "the fundamentals": hard work, discipline, patience, temperament, teamwork, faith, and family.  With that as his foundational mindset, he won 10 national championships.  More so, he won the hearts, minds and souls of countless men and woman throughout the world.  If you have the time, spend a little of it online reading the many accolades, attributes and admiration's about John Wooden.  And check out his highly revered "Pyramid of Success."   I think you'll find it worthwhile, and worthy of posting on your office wall.  

So on behalf of a grateful world, thank you John Wooden.  And in honor of John Wooden, the next time we get to acting like a brash brazen bully, and think we need to rant, rave, belittle, impugn, berate, chastise, torment, yell, ego-trip, or any of those other aggressive "styles" that all too often get used - instead, think about how John Wooden would do it.  In other words, Wooden it be good, to be like Wooden.

Wooden It Is Good. 

Keep It Real, Flaws And All

Maybe its just me, but it seems like lots of peoples are freakishly obsessed with how they look, behave, and perform.  I'm sensing a heightened paranoia over perfection, and perception.  Maybe its a case of the economic hibijibis that's got folks spooked; thinking that if they make a mistake, let alone show their flaws (which we all have, naturally) - that they might be toast.  

Sure - the age-old truisms are true:  perception is reality, and you don't get a second chance to make a first impression.  That said - imperfections are okay.  In fact, the Japanese have a principle called wabi-sabi - which effectively states that there is beauty, in imperfection.

While perfection is good for trains, planes, automobiles, operating rooms, and other life-impacting machinery, it's kind of a put-off in people.  Mistakes happen.  Imperfections abound.  And certainly, we're not perfect: we're human.  In fact, I'd argue that it's better to be human (and real), than robotic. 

Keeping It (Genuinely) Real is Good.  

Lead. Follow. Or Get Out Of The Way.

(*Attention all readers: I'm going to start a new blogging style/habit/formula.  Let's call it my "less is more/more is more" phase.  Hey, Picasso and Monet had their phases - why can't I?  In other words, over the next few blogs, I'm going to go with a shorter word count, but hopefully a more impactful and straightforward purpose (about time Abbott, right!) So here goes, my first sweet KISS (you know, keep it simple, stupid; with stupid, being me, of course).  Get ready for it; get set; go): 

Lead.  Follow.  Or get out of the way.

That's right.  You get it.  You know what I'm saying, and I think you know what I mean: Lead.  Follow.  Or get out of the way.   And that mandate is for all of the so called "bosses" that think they know what they are doing, but don't. 

There's nothing good about an "in title only" boss, who pretends to be something, they are not.  And worse yet - just ends up getting in the way, and messing things up.   Ohhhhh - that's so frustrating.  Because outside of their title, and the person that gave it to them, they are not what they claim to be.  They are, in one word, a roadblock.  And that roadblock causes problems, on soooo many levels.  True that.     

So on behalf of all the workers of the world, who work for "get in the way roadblock" bosses, remember this simple request: 

Lead.  Follow.  Or get out of the way.

Real Leaders Are Good. 

When Guilty Pleasures Turn Guilty

Here's a news flash. Better yet, let's call it a confession, as given the circumstance, it's probably more appropriate. Ready. Set. Go: I like the television show, Celebrity Apprentice (well, at least I use to, anyway). Frankly, it's one of my so-called "guilty pleasures." And why is it a guilty pleasure, you ask? Well - simply put - because I'm not a fan of Donald Trump. Never have been, and never will be. (There goes my celebrity endorsement from The Don.)

That said, I've been able to overcome my many issues with Mr T (yea, the list is long), and tolerate his overbearing, rude, egocentric, persona on behalf of the "celebrities" that have agreed to be on his show, and be subjected to his shameful treatment, and arrogant affronts, on behalf of their charities of choice. Able that is, until last night. As my guilty pleasure is now, just guilty (sob sob, sniff sniff).

You see, on last nights episode, he and his chip-off-the-old-blockhead son, gave the boot, you know, the proverbial heave-ho - to Cyndi Lauper. And get this, for no other reason than she told the truth. That's right ladies and gentleman: she told the truth. (Note to all girls: you can have fun, and tell the truth.) According to Don and his sloffspring protege - Cindi made a "tactful error," that cannot be tolerated in business, or the board room for that matter. What a load of bunk. And the world wonders why I don't like the guy. Go figure.

Call me a softy, but I just don't think the Trump way - is the way, to roll. The means don't justify the ends. If employees, or even celebrities for that matter, have to lie, connive, cheat, steal, hide, and act like as&^%$#!s to get ahead and/or stay ahead - than that's just wrong. Under those circumstances, it's no longer even a fun guilty pleasure. It's just guilty. Don - you're fired!

At the risk of sounding like Andy Griffith from the Andy Griffith show (now that was a guilt free pleasure ;) - we can compete, and we can win -with integrity, and decorum. True that. And the good news is, the world is thankfully full of great roll models, who lead the right way. The servant leader way.

Servant Leadership is Good.

Got A System?!

If I had a dime (heck, let's only make it a paltry little penny) for every gung-ho entrepreneur that lacks a tangible, trustworthy system - I'd be Google-like rich. Now, when I say system, I mean that they don't have a "stratical" (for those keeping score at home, that's a hybridization of strategic and tactical) system to help them effectively establish, define, operate, grow, and keep score.

Sure - they might have a phenomenal concept/product, unbridled energy, guts like Rocky, and passion up the wazzo - but without clear direction ... guided, managed, and measured by an accountable and trustworthy system ... then it's set to fail, or at the very least, frustrate and imperil due to a lack of traction.

If this sounds like you, or someone you know - the good news is there's help. And its relatively easy, and incredibly cheap. For my money - and having read dozens of "how-to" books - I'm a raving fan of Gino Wickman's book Traction: Get a Grip on Your Business, and his Entrepreneurial Operating System (EOS). Wickmans got a practical system for companies to clarify, simplify, unify and achieve their vision. More important - their success. The system is built around the idea that every issue goes back to one of six fundamental components: People, Vision, Data, Issues, Process, and Traction. As no-duh as that sounds, check back to my opening sentence. As the expression goes: easier said, then done.

Here's the deal: while I may not agree with everything Wickman thinks (what's new, right), he's got the best "pre-fabe system" that I've ever seen, especially for early/growth-stage entrepreneur-led companies. It's simple, yet powerful. Comprehensive, yet concise. Big, yet small. I dig it. But lest you think I'm just gonna write about it - think again. I'm going to implement his EOS in our next investment. In fact, it's already in motion. And I'll bet you this: its gonna work - or I'll eat a bug: a big, hairy, nasty, ugly bug. Yuck!

Good Systems Are Good. (Eating Yucky Bugs Are Bad.)

Lessons From The Underdog

Unless you've been living under a really big rock, you know that (my hometown) Butler Bulldogs are playing (in my hometown) for the NCAA Championship. Talk about crazy fun! But more than just being an awesome experience for me and my family, Butler University, their fans and the residents of Indianapolis - this is also an awesome learning experience for the proverbial underdog/David versus Goliath morality thing.

For proof, check out this stat: Duke University, who Butler plays tonight for the championship, is the No. 1 in the nation with a basketball budget of almost $14M. Butler is No. 142 at $1.7M. (BTW: Butler's total budget is less than half of what Duke's coach K makes in annual salary; go figure). That statistic alone, is staggering - let alone all of the other empiricals that separate the big dog Blue Devils, from the underdog Bulldogs. And don't forget that before Butler got here - it won 25 games in a row, and beat other big dogs Syracuse, Kansas State and Michigan State.

So just what exactly is it that Butler does, and what do they have, to make itself the underdog that can? Simply put, they have those important "fundamentals" that most people (and businesses) take for granted, like: genuine passion, sincere teamwork, absolute commitment, good manners, calm temperament, exceptional work ethic, positive pragmatism, effective execution, gracious attitudes, forward thinking, mindful preparation, intestinal fortitude, gritty determination, and humble confidence.

Granted, I like my Dawgs. I dig their game, and their style. It's what they call, "The Butler Way." And I'd argue that if more people and companies subscribed to the same fundamentals that make Butler the underdog that can - than more underdog people and companies CAN, and will, succeed as well.

They say luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

You prepared?

Preparation is Good.

(PS: While the above blog was written hours before the championship game, this post script is written the morning after. WOW - what a game. And although Butler came up just short, two points and one possession to be exact, they are winners. In this case, close counts. Big time. Regardless of the score, they taught us some real lessons from the underdog. Thanks Butler.)

If You Think This Sentence is Long ...

Last night, like many nights, after putting the kids to bed, I was mindlessly watching TV, while reading in my head, attention toward the tele, fading in and out, cared some, didn't care more, when the news made a startling, yet matter of fact statement, in that there are over 24 million kids, in the United States of America, living in homes without knowing a dad, which me sad, and mad, and feel really really bad, for the kids who had no dads, couldn't be very glad, for dads are good, at least the dads that are good, so why are there so many bad dads, that wont hang with, let alone ever know, their kids, seems almost criminal, at the very least immoral, inhuman, and unconscionable, because dad-less kids, in a way, serve a very long life sentence, that without any doubt, is a gazillion times longer, and more unfair, and sad, and bad than this pathetic excuse of a long sentence that I wrote here, to try to make a point, that the sentence, don't fit the crime, and we all know, that this written sentence, is almost criminal, so how's that compare, in comparison, to the sentence kids live out, without having a dad, so if you choose to be a father, then be sure to be a dad, because dads are good, if they're good.

Happy Anniversary, Mr. Bubble

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the infamous dot-com bubble going pop, boom, bang. And given the fact that I was one of those guys, with one of those high-flying Internet-based companies worth-gazillions-one-day-then-gazillions-less-the-next, I can still hear/feel/taste the reverberation.

In the words of Gilligan (going old-school), it was a real doozy.

But lest you think me sad and sullen, think again.

Actually, that episode made me a better, stronger man: personally and professionally. I learned some truly valuable lessons about work, and life. It also inspired me to write my book, Pocket PorchLights, and pen a chapter about that experience, and how it changed my life, for the better. And the name of that chapter is, "It's Over, And It's Just Begun." (Get it?) (Good!)

As profoundly unprofound as that expression may seem, it really does work - from a perspective, attitude, aptitude, and mindfulness standpoint. It's a yin and yang thing, right! There's good, and there's bad. One thing starts, another thing stops. We move forward, we move back. We win some, we lose some. And that's true for business, and life. No doubt, there are inevitable downsides. But - there's always an upside, and that's called learning.

Learning is Good.

Spiritual Enterprise

Greeting and salutations. And yes - I'm still here, although from the lack of posts, one would think that I've fallen off the face of the earth. (And sadly, many of those close in my life, are wondering about my where-abouts as well; both physically and mentally). But in the endearing words of the Whos, living on the spec of Horton's flower: "I AM HERE; I AM HERE; I AM HERE!!!"

Long story short - business has been craaaazzzzyy! Ahh - the business life of a private equity/venture capital/porchlights guy is not all fun and games. Nope. Frankly - there's lots of work (oh whoa is me, right!), and I spend loads of time just reading, riting and doing rithmitic (you know, the three Rs).

That said, we've been doing lots of work within our firm around the idea, and reality, of blending purpose with business; faith with capitalism; making money with doing good. It's one of our core objectives, and if I may, it's pretty cool, and something that I appreciate, and don't take for granted.

You see, one of our goals is to promote "spiritual enterprises." In other words - we want to fund, develop, and encourage companies that embrace the bottom line (i.e. making money), AND, the faith line (i.e. having a higher purpose than just making money). And lest you think the two don't get along - think again. They get along - like warm cookies and cold milk. True!

So you ask, what do you need to have a "spiritual enterprise?" Well, it takes work, and a lot of genuine commitment. That said, there's a nice book by Theodore Roosevelt Malloch titled, "Spiritual Enterprise: Doing Virtuous Business". In it, he lists some key components that are essential for a spiritual enterprise. They are:

1) Honesty (no duh right; but this one's in too short supply).
2) Gratitude (an appreciation for everything, all the time).
3) Perseverance (times can be tuff; but we have to hang in there).
4) Compassion (kinda soft to most execs; but empathy matters).
5) Forgiveness (mistakes happen: onward/upward).
6) Patience (not one of my virtues, but a virtue of big significance).
7) Humility (yes, we can be humble, and still have confidence).
8) Courage (we can't deliver, if we can't get started).
9) Respect (the right respect, for the right reasons).
10) Generosity (to give is better than to receive; give it up!).
11) Discipline (just doing is not good enough; purpose is required).
12) Chastity (this isn't just a sexual thing; its a mind thing too).
13) Thrift (applies to money, and lots of other possible excesses).

No doubt - that's a big list, and a lot of stuff. And yea, it might be hard to fully grasp, let alone embrace, and achieve. But its a good list, and something to think about, and work from.

After all, business just tastes better, when it tastes better.

Spiritual Enterprises Are Good.

To Think or To Feel: That is The Question

Recently, I did the Meyers Briggs and DISC assessments tests. Long explanation short, both tests are designed to help (unemotionally) establish our preferential behaviors when it comes to how we think, act and process: at work, relationships and life.

Now, while some may challenge the validity of these "tests," and have a hard time accepting their "designations," - I for one, dig 'em. I really do. (And not just because they don't require me to drop my drawers, or get stuck with a needle; although I never did get a lollipop!?). Simply put, I like them because they help to analytically establish a proactive appreciation for our own, and others, "processing temperament." More better - they help us establish an empathy that we can use with ourselves (i.e. how and/or how not to react to others treatment/style), as well as an understanding when it comes to others style and/or preferences re: style and preferences.

Make sense? Kinda sorta? Just a little!!?

Here's one great upside from these tests (and frankly, the biggest, most usable take away from what I'm trying to say). And it's all about appreciating the difference between saying "I feel," versus "I think," when starting to explain something to someone.

Check it out: when we're trying to make a point or persuade someone to see something our way, we start with either "I think we should .......," or we start with "I feel we should ...." The fact that we choose one over the other has to do with how we prefer to process input/output: as thinkers or feelers. Get it?

If you do, than ask yourself, which one do you prefer? More importantly, ask yourself which one the other person prefers? Why? Because it matters. If you really want to get someone to see it your way - start with seeing it their way: Are they a "thinker," or a "feeler?" If they are a "thinker," - than start with "I think ..." If they are a "feeler," than start with "I feel."

As simple as this sounds, it works amazingly well. Really. Try it.

I Think AND I Feel Are Both Good.